


call me in your summer

by sansrival



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Slow Burn, a self-indulgent chuuves fake dating au that no one asked for but here it is, i'm winging this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2019-11-09 02:11:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 48,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17992868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansrival/pseuds/sansrival
Summary: Having been (unfairly?) fired from her previous part-time jobs due to her impulsive tendencies, Sooyoung’s determined not to lose out on her next one: being Kim Jiwoo’s fake girlfriend.Unfortunately, fake dating someone who’s still in love with their ex proves to be a greater challenge than she anticipated...especially when it starts feeling less like an act for Sooyoung.





	1. blacklisted from the food court

**Author's Note:**

> why/how do all my one-shot ideas end up being 7685-paged word docs? beats me. but that means multiple chapters so that'll be...fun? join me on my quest to finish (for the first time..) a multi-chaptered fic! title from 「call me in your summer」 by she is summer ☀ bon appetit 

Sooyoung likes spontaneity because it adds a bit of flavour to an otherwise mundane life. But, of course, being impulsive has its costs, and Sooyoung has experienced her share of consequences because of it.

Impulsivity isn’t always a bad thing, though. Sometimes, it’s warranted or may even be for the better. For Sooyoung, impulsivity drives things forward: there’s always an effect and, good or bad, she’ll never know what will happen unless she does something.

 

* * *

 

“Do you know any place hiring?”

It comes out as a half-hearted question, as if Sooyoung wasn’t really expecting any answers. And sure enough, she doesn’t get any.

“Nope,” Chaewon answers, far too kind to point out that this is the third time Sooyoung has asked her in the past week and she’s starting to get sick of it.

“I just want some money, summer break is soon,” she groans.

“There’s always a part-time position open at the mall, if only you didn't screw up your chances of working there!”

Contrasting her unforgiving choice of words, Chaewon’s tone is cheerful. Probably out of amusement, Sooyoung suspects. Sometimes, she wishes she never told Chaewon about her history of part-time jobs, including a stint at the mall food court that ended with a sudden firing.

Sooyoung just shakes her head at the memory of it. Considering the intentions behind her actions, anyone would agree that she shouldn’t have been fired. After all, she was just trying to do the right thing. Here’s how it went:

After finding a bunch of girls in the bathroom of the staff break room smoking weed – a terrible idea to even begin with – Sooyoung decided to confront them. Now, she usually minded her own business, but a customer had just yelled at her for something that was out of her control ( _“no, ma’am, for the_ third time, _I cannot call up corporate right now and demand we stop using straws for the sake of the world’s turtles. I’m just a fast food worker-”)_ and Sooyoung wasn’t in the mood to come out of the bathroom smelling like weed when all she did was pee.

Unsurprisingly, high school students who smoke indoors aren’t the most rational individuals, so confronting them only ended with Sooyoung being told to keep her nose out of it (impossible when the smoke is everywhere and the entire bathroom reeks) followed by some rude remarks calling her a “fuckin’ self-righteous hag” muttered not-so-quietly under their breaths.

And so she tattled to the manager, who told her he’d deal with it. But when she found the girls smoking in the bathroom again and again, Sooyoung lost it. She picked up a bucket of mop water and promptly threw it at their faces, adding in a snarky comment to go along with it ( _“there, I put it out for you!”_ ).

Needless to say, it was an entirely impulsive act, but one driven by irritation and her patience being exhausted.

She was fired by the manager on the spot, who she later found out never actually dealt with it because he was the one selling the girls weed and didn’t want to lose them as clients.

That’s right, a Burger King manager selling overpriced weed to underage teenagers. Sooyoung deserved so much better anyway.

But now Sooyoung can’t pass by Burger King without getting nasty stares from her former co-workers. Nor can she get any job in the food court because apparently, there’s an extensive weed network amongst the plethora of stressed students working at the mall (everyone thinks smoking weed is cool) and those nasty girls had made sure to tell everyone. Literally blacklisted from the food court. 

Their glares make Sooyoung feel like a shackled prisoner being dragged through the village, barefoot, a traitor with ‘SNITCH!’ branded on her forehead. This is not the type of attention Sooyoung needed, nor wanted.

And it’s ridiculous, really.

“You could’ve just advised them to smoke outside, you know,” Chaewon says, lips pursed in that pointed way whenever she was making an extremely valid point that Sooyoung didn’t want to hear.

“I care for the youth of our country. I didn’t want them smoking anywhere!” Sooyoung puts a hand to her chest, feigning dramatic concern.

Chaewon lets out a cute snort, possibly the only person capable of doing so. “You should just think things through more, that’s all.”

And Sooyoung just sighs because she’s bad at thinking things through. She tries to reason with it, though, telling herself that negative consequences only come out of impulsivity that’s driven by anger. So, what she needs to work on is not her impulsivity, but rather her temper.

It’s a logical thought process.

She knows this because even after her bathroom-smoking-mop-water incident, her temper got the best of her and got her fired. Again. At her following job.

“The new guy at the Halloween store is kinda weird, I wish you were still there with me,” Chaewon says.

“I don’t,” Sooyoung replies, to which Chaewon pouts like a kicked puppy and Sooyoung immediately feels like taking it back.  

To be fair, working at the Halloween store had both pros and cons:

  * The pros: source of income and meeting Chaewon (who is the only co-worker in her work history that Sooyoung has ever truly befriended).
  * The cons: it’s a Halloween store that’s open year-round.



For one thing, outside of foreigners and Itaewon regulars, no one really gives a shit about Halloween. Second, during the Halloween off-season (which is…98% of the year), weird people come and weird things happen at a year-round Halloween store.

Quite frankly, working at the store was embarrassing and totally unfitting of Sooyoung’s image (pretty and charming college student, a proud member of the dance club). However, If Sooyoung had to be brutally honest with herself, she _sorta_ misses working at the store. It was easy money and most shifts were spent just hanging out and fooling around with Chaewon. What else could she ask for?

But unfortunately, and unsurprisingly, her impulsivity got her fired from that job too. It also involved kids and Sooyoung being fed up. Again. Like some cursed déjà vu.

Seeing Chaewon’s pout, Sooyoung feels the need to justify herself. “It was those stupid kids’ fault! It’s always stupid kids.”

“But you didn’t have to lock them in the bathroom!”

“It was the only way to pacify them, Chae, they were like wild animals released from their cages!”

“Their parents came and threatened to call the cops!”

Sooyoung rolled her eyes. “Whatever, they deserved it.”

Chaewon sighs lightly, but lets out a chuckle soon after. “Speaking of the Halloween store, I have a shift in half an hour and should probably get going. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Sure. If you know any job openings, please let me know. Or else I’ll resort to being a stripper, I swear.”

Chaewon widens her eyes, scandalised, as she rises from the table. She salutes Sooyoung with a more determined ‘ _yes ma’am’_ , probably fueled by Sooyoung’s abrupt proposal.

Sooyoung smiles as she waves Chaewon goodbye. She sinks into her seat as soon as the girl is out of sight. 

While being a stripper is certainly an appropriate use of her…skills, she hopes she can find a source of income for the summer that doesn’t involve poles nor men. Sooyoung isn’t really a fan of either of those things.

 

* * *

 

With the way she is, one may see Sooyoung as the type who’d be the knight in shining armour. But no one ever considers that those knights in shining armour may have their own knights too.

For Sooyoung, that knight is Chaewon. Trusty Spookytown employee Park Chaewon. Truthfully, it’s an overdramatic comparison, but Sooyoung considers a summer of boredom and no income as a nightmare situation that seriously needs saving. And thus, her saviour from such a summer is Chaewon. 

The image of the bright girl skipping across the grass happily is an amusing contrast from the university students she weaves around, scattered around on picnic blankets with their eyes glued to books.

“I come bearing a wonderful opportunity!” Chaewon exclaims, hopping to a stop and squatting right in front of Sooyoung. The older girl is seated under the shade of a large tree, trying to do a bit of studying of her own outdoors. It’s exams season.

Sooyoung lifts her head to look at the girl with a raised eyebrow.

“I have a job opening for you,” Chaewon says promisingly.

Sooyoung immediately closes her book, transferring her full attention to the grinning girl in front of her.

Chaewon clears her throat. “Once upon a time, there was a girl named Jiwoo.” Sooyoung narrows her eyes, but Chaewon continues, “all throughout high school, Jiwoo dated the love of her life. She thought they’d be together forever, but alas!” Chaewon brings a hand to her chest, grabbing a fistful of her blouse in bitterness, “she was _dumped_ on graduation day because the so-called love of her life was going to college on the other side of the country.” She shakes her head. “Fast forward four months, so-called love of her life, now her ex, told her she’d be visiting for summer break. This put our poor, heartbroken protagonist Jiwoo in a bit of a pickle.” She closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose in pseudo agony.

Silence descends and Sooyoung, eyebrows now deeply furrowed, stares at the squatting girl in front of her. Just as the silence could get any more awkward, Chaewon bats opens one eye.

“…Okay? And?” 

Chaewon sighs. “The plot twist is that this is a true story and Jiwoo is a real person. In fact, she’s my friend!”

“Oh. Poor girl.”

“Yes, truly,” Chaewon frowns for a moment before her lips curve into a hopeful smile, “but this is why we need your help!”

“With what?”

“Jiwoo needs a girlfriend.”

Sooyoung blinks at Chaewon, once, twice, before finally raising a skeptical eyebrow. “Huh?”

“Oh, you guys don’t actually have to date. All we need- I mean all _she_ needs is a fake girlfriend.”

“Why?”

“Because Jiwoo’s dumb!" Chaewon says with a huff, suddenly getting frustrated. “She kept in touch with her ex after their breakup. Jiwoo told her all sorts of lies, like ‘I’m fine’ when really she isn’t, and ‘I’m enjoying university’ when really she’s miserable, and ‘I’ve made soooo many friends’ when really she’s made like, _three_ , me including-”

Sooyoung struggles to keep up. “Where do I come in?”

Chaewon purses her lips. “You know the dumbest lie Jiwoo told her stupid ex? ‘ _I’ve met someone new and we’re hitting it off!’_ ” Chaewon sighs. “Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

Sooyoung narrows her eyes.

“Truth is, she hasn’t because she’s still secretly in love with her stupid ex. So now, Jiwoo needs a fake girlfriend to keep up the lie for when her stupid ex comes to visit! Our friend Hyunjin says it’s like, the ultimate power move or whatever.” Chaewon leans in, knocking on Sooyoung’s forehead. “Are you following me?”

“Ow! Yes,” Sooyoung winces, evading Chaewon’s small fist.

“Okay, well listen,” Chaewon holds up three fingers, “we want to send Jiwoo’s stupid ex three messages. One, ‘I’m totally okay!’. Two, ‘I’m totally over you!’. And three, ‘I totally never lied to you about any of this!’.”

Sooyoung’s lips quirk. “All lies?”

Chaewon shrugs. “Basically. But her stupid ex will get those three messages when she sees Jiwoo underneath the arm of someone who is way cooler and not stupid.” She nudges her chin towards Sooyoung with a knowing look, as if to say, ‘ _I’m talking about you._ ’

A compliment. Sooyoung likes compliments. “Well, I do like petty revenges and this kind of sounds like one.”

Chaewon’s face lights up. “So you’ll do it?”

Sooyoung purses her lips in brief thought and her lack of an immediate answer doesn’t sit well with Chaewon.

“Come on, please! Hyunjin says we should find Jiwoo a fake girlfriend who’s hotter than her stupid ex and willing to date her. It was a tall order, especially since we only have four days til Jiwoo’s ex comes home, but then I thought of you! You’re hot and you like girls! Please help us, Sooyoung. We’re doing this for Jiwoo. Maybe this will help her move past her stupid ex. And she’ll pay you! You don’t have to be a stripper! Pretty please!”

Chaewon pleads to her with her palms pressed tightly together, eyes resembling those of a starving stray puppy’s in the middle of winter. Truthfully, Sooyoung was already leaning towards agreeing to it, so Chaewon’s cry from the heart wasn’t really necessary. Nevertheless, Sooyoung couldn’t really have said no to such an earnest and urgent request anyway.  

“Okay, fine-“

Chaewon pounces on her, enveloping her in a tight hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She pulls away, grabbing onto Sooyooung’s shoulders and staring at her with a determined fire behind her eyes. “This is for the greater good, trust me.”

Sooyoung just laughs as Chaewon pulls her in for another hug. “You’ll like Jiwoo! She’s super cute and nice.”

“She better be!”

And just like that, Sooyoung is saved from the boring, penniless summer of her nightmares. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it ends a bit abruptly, i did write this initially as a one-shot, but yes let's get this ball rolling


	2. the girlfriend to the rescue

The way the four girls are lined up in front of her, shoulder to shoulder, kind of makes Sooyoung feel uneasy. 

Chaewon had arranged for her to meet Jiwoo (and friends). Everything seems so rushed, but they had no choice. Jiwoo’s ex would be arriving very soon.

Seeing her in person, Sooyoung is more than pleased about her fake girlfriend for the summer. Jiwoo is pretty abnormal. Abnormally _cute._ In fact, Jiwoo is cuter in real life than in the photos Chaewon sent her, and Sooyoung had spent a good several minutes gushing over her adorableness the day before.

 _This is already a great start!_ Sooyoung had thought, but now she realises that she may have jumped the gun a bit.

Jiwoo’s nervous discomfort is so palpably obvious that in front of her, Sooyoung suddenly feels her usually-astronomical level of self-confidence falter.

Sooyoung puts on her friendliest smile in an attempt to ease the awkward air. She directs her attention to the girl on Jiwoo’s left, whom she excitedly recognizes from her dance club. “Jeon Heejin! How did weirdo Chaewon befriend such a sweet and pretty girl like you?” 

Chaewon opens her mouth to defend herself, but Heejin speaks up first. “Sunbaenim…do you know what you’re getting yourself into?” Hesitation paints her pretty features.  

Okay, weird question. Sooyoung narrows her eyes slightly, though she maintains her smile. “What do you mean?”

This time, Chaewon jumps at the opportunity to talk. “I’ve already explained everything to her and she’s up for it,” she says sternly, shooting a look towards Heejin that even Sooyoung could tell says _‘don’t ruin this now!’_. Heejin receives the message, evident in the way she promptly presses her lips together.

“You’re a dancer?!” the girl on Jiwoo’s right exclaims– Hyunjin, as Chaewon had introduced a few minutes earlier– with a gasp. She turns to Jiwoo and mouths a not-so-secret _‘and she’s hot!’_.

“You’re okay with this…?” This time, the cute voice comes from the cute girl in the middle, who’s currently gawking at Sooyoung with wide eyes.

Sooyoung hums. “What’s a better way to spend the summer than get paid to basically hang out with a cute girl?”

Jiwoo lets out a chuckle, though it sounds strained and anxious more than anything. She maintains her stilted grin, even as she grabs her friends’ arms and starts to pull them backwards. “Give us a moment!”

Sooyoung’s smile falters a bit as she watches Jiwoo gather her friends in a huddle. Why are they acting so weird? Sooyoung had expected a bit more excitement from them. Was she not hot and cool enough? But Chaewon assured her she was the perfect girl! What if Jiwoo thinks she’s ugly? That’s so embarrassing to even speculate–

“Why are you so nervous?” Sooyoung overhears, undoubtedly Chaewon’s voice, “isn’t she pretty?”

Sooyoung doesn’t have to try very hard to listen in on their conversation. She doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, it’s just that their hushed murmurs sound more like whisper-shouts. Nevertheless, Sooyoung pretends not to hear.

“That’s _exactly_ why I’m nervous!” Jiwoo whisper-shouts and Sooyoung relaxes. Cute Jiwoo gets nervous around pretty girls? “She is _way_ out of my league!” That might be true.

It’s Hyunjin’s voice she hears next and it’s the quietest whisper of all, Sooyoung had to strain to catch it. “Don’t be silly, Jungeun was also way out of your league, but you guys dated!”

 _Jungeun? Who’s Jungeun? Jiwoo’s ex?_ Now that Sooyoung thinks about it, Chaewon has never mentioned the name of the anticipated visitor, instead opting to refer to her as ‘Jiwoo’s stupid ex’ or some variation of those words.

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean!” comes Jiwoo’s clearly offended whisper, “this wouldn’t be believable at all…”

“Well, we have no options left because Jungeun arrives in T-minus 72 hours and come on, Jiwoo, this godly presence has descended upon us like a guardian angel. Like, _look at her!_ ” Hyunjin furiously whispers. All four heads suddenly turn to look at Sooyoung, who returns their sheepish smiles with a small one of her own. Okay then. They turn back. “She’s an _older woman_ and she’s hotter than Jungeun, hotter than the sun-“

“ _Hotter_ than my latest mixtape,” Chaewon pipes up.

Hyunjin promptly ignores that. “It’s perfect! She’s pretty _and_ willing to do this, so you need to seize this opportunity! Darpe ciem!”

“It’s _carpe diem_ , dumbass–“

Admittedly, Sooyoung can’t help the amused grin that spreads on her face. And yes, it’s for completely narcissistic reasons. 

This meeting wasn’t going as she had expected, with the weird response she’s gotten from them and all, so Hyunjin’s little blurb about her was just the exact type of ego boost that Sooyoung needed to regain her faltering courage.  

She overhears Heejin’s voice this time in perhaps the most flustered whisper out of all the girls. “Chae, what the hell, you didn’t tell me your Sooyoung was _Ha Sooyoung_! I told you guys I didn’t want to drag anyone from my dance club into this mess!”

“I didn’t know your Sooyoung was my Sooyoung!” comes Chaewon’s response.

Well, at least that explains Heejin’s hesitation; she respects her senior so much, that she didn't want her involved in her friends’ antics. Or at least that's what Sooyoung tells herself.  

 _I knew you were one of my favourite juniors for a reason._ Sooyoung smiles proudly to herself, making a mental note to treat Heejin to coffee one day.

But just when Sooyoung starts to feel overly prideful, the next thing she hears humbles her right off the pedestal. Ironically, it’s courtesy of the same girl who put her up on that pedestal in the first place.

“You know, she doesn’t seem like the type who’d even step foot in that weird Halloween store, but you’re telling me she _worked_ there?” whispers Hyunjin, the amusement ringing clear in her voice. “It’s kind of hilarious.”

Sooyoung shuts her eyes in embarrassment and sighs _._ Damn it, Chaewon told them she worked at the Halloween store. She knows it’s their main connection, but still, she was hoping Chaewon would’ve at least helped her save face by omitting that fact. Truthfully, Chaewon was probably more than happy to expose her.  

She opens her eyes just in time to catch Jiwoo looking at her from over her shoulder. After returning Sooyoung’s smile with her own, she turns back around. She really _is_ cute; anyone with eyes would think so.

Sooyoung doesn’t feel like listening in on their conversation anymore just in case it veers further into _Sooyoung-actually-seems-kind-of-uncool-if-you-think-about-it_ territory, so she directs her attention elsewhere.

Within a few seconds, the four girls are back standing in front of her, having broken up their huddle with resolute nods.

Jiwoo looks at Sooyoung, still a hint of hesitation in her disposition, but looking far less anxious than before. “Okay, let’s do this.”

Sooyoung’s impressed with how sure she sounds, but she also senses that Jiwoo didn’t have much of a choice.

Hyunjin looks the most excited of the bunch, patting Jiwoo on the back with too much force. “Great! Now, we don’t have much time so _you two_ ,” she pushes Jiwoo, who stumbles right into Sooyoung’s arms (after which she hurriedly and shyly detaches herself), “need to jump straight into the icebreakers and have a deep ‘Get To Know Each Other’ session, or first date, or _whatever_ so Jiwoo’s ex doesn’t figure out that you guys have _literally_ never met each other ‘til today.”

Judging from that and the enthusiasm in her smile, Sooyoung suspects Hyunjin is the mastermind behind this whole idea in the first place. Hyunjin hooks each of her arms with Heejin and Chaewon and drags them away.

Jiwoo hesitantly waves them goodbye.

“Our first date,” Sooyoung muses out loud once they’re gone. Jiwoo chuckles nervously. “It’ll just be like a blind date. Have you ever been on a blind date?” When Jiwoo sheepishly shakes her head, Sooyoung extends a hand. “Well, I’m Sooyoung. Third year, social sciences department. Impulsive choice, but I’ve made it this far.”

To her relief, Jiwoo shakes it readily and firmly.

“Nice to meet you, Jiwoo. Come on, let’s go to a café. My treat,” Sooyoung offers and holds up a hand to silence Jiwoo when she opens her mouth to protest, “it’s okay. I’m the older one anyway.”

Jiwoo just nods her head, averting her gaze. Sooyoung hopes she can get the younger girl to look at her for at least thirty seconds.

 

 

 

So, thirty seconds seems like it might be too difficult of a challenge from the get-go.

Jiwoo won’t even look her way and busies herself by drumming her fingers against her cup of iced coffee. Sooyoung knows it’s because of nervousness, but she can’t quite figure out why Jiwoo is so nervous.

Sooyoung thinks back to what she had overheard Chaewon say during their little huddle. Is Sooyoung too pretty that it makes her nervous? (That would be cute.) (Or maybe Sooyoung is just full of herself.)

The atmosphere threatens to turn awkward, which Sooyoung dreads. None of her previous dates have ever been awkward. But then again, she’s only gone out with people who are actually interested in her or asked her out first.

_Maybe Jiwoo isn’t used to dates? Does she hate this? Would she rather be elsewhere?_

“Jiwoo, if you’re uncomfortable with this, you don’t have to–“

“No, I want to,” Jiwoo suddenly interjects, finally meeting Sooyoung’s eyes. “Do this. I want to do this.”

“…Are you sure?”

Jiwoo’s fingers abruptly stop drumming. “Yes. Sorry, I just…” she trails off for a bit before shaking her head, “how much did Chaewon tell you?”

“Um, the basics. I know you’re Kim Jiwoo, freshman business major, hung up on an ex who dumped you on the day of your high school graduation. She’s visiting for the break. You told her you had a girlfriend to prove that you’ve moved on,” Sooyoung explains, “problem is, you don’t have a girlfriend and you haven’t moved on…”

She pauses to gauge Jiwoo’s reaction, but only sees the girl looking at her shyly.  

“…So this where I come in,” Sooyoung finishes. “I’m the girlfriend to the rescue.”

Jiwoo’s suddenly back to drumming her fingers and looking small, having shrunk deeper into her seat. Her loss of courage draws a sigh out of Sooyoung. Since Jiwoo told her that she _wants_ to be here, that leaves Sooyoung with the only other hypothesis she has for Jiwoo’s nervousness:

“If you’re nervous because you think I’m out of your league, you need to stop thinking that or else we won’t be able to get to know each other,” Sooyoung says, “and your ex won’t believe a thing.”

Jiwoo abruptly stops drumming again and looks at Sooyoung with comically wide eyes. “Huh?”

 _Shit shit shit was that too bold of an assumption?_ flashes quickly in Sooyoung’s mind. But she can’t take this back like a _coward_ (only cowards backtrack!) so she quirks her lips in a smirk and pushes though.

“You guys didn’t really whisper quietly enough.”

Jiwoo blinks at her before looking down timidly, a slight pink hue on her cheeks. “Oh…”

Sooyoung ducks her head a bit to get a better view of Jiwoo’s face. “It’s okay. Don’t be nervous, I don’t bite. And if you’re still worried about whether I’m okay with this, I assure you that Chae didn’t threaten me or anything and I fully consented.”

While nervous-but-blushing Jiwoo is cuter than nervous-but-ambiguous Jiwoo, Sooyoung wants her to ease up more than anything. They can’t have a conversation if Jiwoo continues like this.

“Sorry…thank you for doing this,” Jiwoo tells her and somehow, Sooyoung can tell her gratitude is genuine. “I’ve just, uh, I’ve never done this before. What do we talk about…?”

Sooyoung smiles at seeing Jiwoo finally start to relax. “Well, for starters, you can tell me your ex’s name.”

“Chae didn’t tell you?” Jiwoo asks in surprise.

“She only called her ‘Jiwoo’s stupid ex’, which is honestly a fitting name for–” Sooyoung pauses when she notices Jiwoo’s face suddenly fall.

“Jungeun’s _not_ stupid,” Jiwoo mutters and there’s a defensive edge to her tone. Jungeun. So her name is Jungeun.

Sooyoung softly sighs. “Look, I don’t know anything about Jungeun, nor do I know anything about the history of your relationship, but I do know that you guys lasted through the nightmare known as high school, which says a lot. And seeing how you’re still _clearly_ into her, you must’ve like her a whole lot. With this limited info to base my judgement on, I see calling it quits on graduation day as a _really_ shitty thing to do,” Sooyoung explains, “and really insensitive of her to do that to you.”

Graduation days are supposed to be happy. Jiwoo visibly winces at Sooyoung’s rough recount of what is clearly a painful memory for her. Sooyoung realises it’s probably a memory that’s been rehashed numerous times in the past few days and she suddenly feels regretful for bringing it up.

But it might be something that Jiwoo needs a constant reminder of to help her move on. 

“And I may not know much about you yet either, but I know you’re not someone who deserves something like that to happen to them,” Sooyoung tells her. Jiwoo doesn’t seem like she’d hurt a fly.

Judging by the surprise evident on her face, Jiwoo didn’t seem to expect such sentimentality out of Sooyoung. Truthfully, neither did she. It just sort of came out that way in a moment of sudden sympathy.

Jiwoo opts not to reply, turning her gaze downwards to stare at her iced coffee.

“We don’t have to talk about Jungeun. In fact, we don’t even really need to,” Sooyoung says, shifting in her seat, “just tell me everything you told her about your imaginary girlfriend so our stories line up. You didn’t tell her a name or show her a picture, did you?”

Jiwoo opens her mouth to answer but the words seemingly get stuck in her throat. Her lips quiver in hesitation and Sooyoung can see the tips of her ears starting to turn red.

“…Did you?”

“I may…have mentioned…a name…” Jiwoo’s voice gradually lowers to such a quiet volume that Sooyoung struggles to hear her.

“What? What name?”

Jiwoo stares at the folded hands on her lap. Shutting her eyes, she murmurs, “um… _Yves_ …and you’re a quarter French…”

Sooyoung blinks at her for a moment. Did she hear that correctly? Is her brain processing it properly? Jiwoo, with her eyes tightly shut, refuses to put her head up.

Actions finally catch up to thoughts and Sooyoung brings a hand over her mouth in a poor attempt at hiding the grin spreading across her face.

“Yve– what?” she sputters, “why…? Why would you give her that kind of name?”

Jiwoo shrugs defeatedly, lifting her shoulders so high that they touch her reddening ears. They drop just as dramatically.

“I-I don’t know, I was talking to her over the phone one day and she just asked me out of the blue and I panicked and for some reason, my eyes darted to my perfume bottle and it just came out of my mouth and I had to play it off and it’s been haunting me to this day and I can’t take it back, okay!”

Whew, what a run-on sentence.

The hasty explanation comes out in lightning speed as a long string of mumbled, whiny words tripping over each other. But Sooyoung’s brain is still processing this and she can’t really help her extremely amused reaction. She lets a chuckle slip.

“And,” she suppresses her laugh, “the quarter French part…?”

Jiwoo’s ears are completely red by this point. She keeps squirming in her seat in hopes that Sooyoung doesn’t notice the heat emanating off her cheeks. But Sooyoung notices, of course she does. Jiwoo’s as red as a strawberry.

“I-I dunno…she asked who on earth names their kid ‘Yves’ in Korea and I just…” Jiwoo replies in an impossibly quiet mumble, “y-you can laugh, okay! I know it's stupid!” That last part comes out defensively.

Jiwoo’s unbearable humiliation is obvious to anyone. Sooyoung doesn’t need to read her mind to know that she must be desperately hoping to _poof!_ disappear on the spot or scream at the sky outside. While the sight of her is amusing (amusingly cute), Sooyoung composes herself so Jiwoo doesn’t feel any more embarrassed than she already does.

She bites her lip to tame her grin and takes a deep breath. “Okay,” Sooyoung says in the most rational voice she can muster, “it’s alright. I’ll figure something out, don’t worry. Did you show her a picture?”

Her rational voice must’ve worked because Jiwoo’s redness mellows to a softer hue as she shakes her head no.

“When did you first tell her you had a girlfriend? If it’s too long ago, I doubt she believes you, especially if you’ve never shared anything on social media.”

Jiwoo shifts in her seat. “Well, I never directly told her I had a _girlfriend_ …just that there was a girl…and we had a _thing_ … I don’t know, I made the relationship sound a bit ambiguous,” she explains bashfully.

When Sooyoung just narrows her eyes, Jiwoo goes on:

“I never wanted to lie to her, it was only two or three weeks ago when I let it slip. Impulsively and out of spite, I guess, I dunno. I-I was just feeling particularly _sad_ that night and I was looking through her social media and…” Jiwoo’s voice begins to quicken and grow louder, “and wondering how she’s living so happily with all her new friends and how she can talk to me so _normally_ as if I was just an ordinary hometown friend and  _not_ someone she shared something special with...someone she said ‘I love you’ to, and I-I just…don’t understand how and why she moved on so fast? I want to be happy seeing her happy, but I can’t. Is this selfish? How can she be so happy while I’m here, still heartbroken and still _so,_ so in love with her and–”

Jiwoo abruptly pauses. The words had spilled out of her like water rushing out of a broken dam. But they stopped coming as suddenly as they came out, and Sooyoung looks back at the glassy eyes staring at her, mouth still hanging open.

Jiwoo doesn’t realise how tightly she had been gripping her iced coffee until some of it spills over her hand.

Still seemingly taken aback by her own impromptu emotional release, Jiwoo gasps lightly as her shoulders visibly untense. She reaches over for the napkins, but Sooyoung already has a hold of them, making quick work of cleaning up the spill. She cleans Jiwoo’s hand for her, too.

Maybe it was the gentleness of Sooyoung’s hands, or her readiness to clean her up, or the softness in her features, or maybe it was all of those that compels Jiwoo to say what she says next.

“It isn’t fair.”

The confession comes out as a quiet murmur. And Sooyoung catches it, crystal clear.

She lays a comforting hand over Jiwoo’s, deciding that actions would speak better than words. Her sympathy would ring out through this simple gesture clearer than any reassuring sentence she could conjure up.

And Jiwoo doesn’t push her away, using her other hand to stop a tear from falling any further down her cheek. She doesn’t try to jump into a different subject either. Sooyoung lets the silence descend over them, not sinking and drowning in it, but rather floating in the stillness that settles. It's a comforting sort of quiet. 

The girl in front of her keeps her gaze downwards, but Sooyoung keeps an eye on her the entire time. She hopes her presence and her hand at least give the Jiwoo the solace she’s searching for.

Sooyoung took in every word she said, every stutter and every stumble that came along. She frowns because Jiwoo’s right; it isn’t fair and she doesn’t deserve this. Jiwoo clearly still has some open wounds.

It’s understandable. How can her ex be living her best life, but Jiwoo can’t? How’d she march on, but Jiwoo still feels like she’s being held back by the reins? How could Jungeun uproot her life just like that and then act like nothing happened?

It isn’t fair at all. 

 

 

 

They sat in silence for what must’ve been nearly twenty minutes as Jiwoo gathered herself.

It’s clear she’s thought long and hard about what happened to her and Sooyoung feels a pang of compassion when she thinks about the girl in front of her crying to herself in confusion and heartbreak. It seems like the breakup happened just last week, but it’s been four months. That’s an awfully long time to feel so sad.

Jiwoo takes a final, deep breath as if to compose herself and pulls her hand from under Sooyoung’s hold. She doesn’t say anything, but Sooyoung understands that that was her way of communicating ‘I’m okay now’.

Jiwoo is the first to pop the bubble of silence that had surrounded them. “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Sooyoung says, shaking her head. She straightens her back, realising that she had leaned in far too close.

“Um, I told her once that the girl– well, _you_ , I guess– took me out on a hiking date and you made lunchboxes with rolled omelette, which is, um, my favourite…” Jiwoo says, as if she suddenly remembered what they were supposed to be talking about. Her voice is more stable than before, though there’s still a hint of shyness.

She’s trying to act like she didn’t just almost break down in front of Sooyoung on their first meeting, so Sooyoung makes the effort to act normal too.   

“I go hiking like, _never_ , but that’s okay. I _am_ good at making rolled omelettes, though.”

“Really?” Jiwoo’s eyes light up for the first time. Sooyoung feels her courage jump levels. 

She nods confidently. “I’ll cook it for you one day. They’ll be the best rolled omelettes you’ve ever tasted.”

Jiwoo cracks a smile, a genuine one, and it’s so contagious, Sooyoung finds herself smiling too.

“That’s a bold claim. I have had many rolled omelettes in my life, spanning the entire taste spectrum,” Jiwoo says matter-of-factly.

“And mine will be on the delicious end, satisfaction guaranteed.”

Jiwoo chuckles and Sooyoung’s heart swells. She’s just happy to see the younger girl’s teeth again. With a bright smile like that, Jiwoo doesn’t deserve to ever feel sad.

“Oh! I also once mentioned that we study together every Friday after your history tutoring sessions…”

Sooyoung’s mouth hangs open. “I’m sorry to say this, but I failed history in high school.”

“Oh…”

“It’s fine. Everything will be fine. Let’s just hope she doesn’t ask me anything history-related. If worse comes to worst, the answer is _always_ ,” Sooyoung pauses for dramatic effect, “King Sejong.”

Aaaaand lamest joke of the year award goes to…

Another chuckle slips past Jiwoo’s lips and Sooyoung returns it with a smile. Her lame joke didn’t even make sense, but Jiwoo laughed anyway.

It’s like she can see the embarrassment evaporating from the younger girl as her shoulders rise slightly every time she grins. Sooyoung’s glad because Jiwoo feels less anxious, her nervousness being the result of the humiliation she must be feeling about this whole thing. She doesn't need to be embarrassed around Sooyoung. 

“You also pick me up from piano lessons every Wednesday.”

“You play piano?”

“Yeah! I love music. I even considered pursuing it, but…” Jiwoo trails off before shaking her head, “I don’t actually take lessons anymore. I used to, but uh, I stopped after high school. I never told Jungeun though, so she thinks I still go. Just keep that in mind, I guess.”

“Why’d you stop?”

“Um,” Jiwoo looks at her for a second before averting her gaze like she did before, shrugging, “No time, with school and all.”

Sooyoung’s not really convinced of that reason, but she lets it go. Maybe Jiwoo will open up to her one day.

The conversation had been going so well, but seeing Jiwoo starting to return to her habit of looking anywhere and everywhere but her, Sooyoung decides that she must do something to steal back her attention.

And so Sooyoung reaches over to grab her hand.

Jiwoo flinches, slightly pulling away in surprise.

“Girlfriends hold hands,” Sooyoung says, looking (and certainly feeling) slightly offended. Jiwoo just stares at her open palm. “Don’t you hold hands with your friends? What’s the matter?”

Jiwoo shakes her head. “Nothing.”

She slides her hand into the open palm. Sooyoung readily curls her fingers around it, but Jiwoo hesitates to reciprocate. To ease the awkwardness, Sooyoung slightly loosens her grasp.

“So this is what it feels like to hold hands with a mannequin,” she says jokingly before detaching their hands completely. “Well, we can practice hand holding later. It has to be natural.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Jiwoo says, suddenly reaching for Sooyoung’s hand. “I’m being weird, aren’t I? I’m sorry, I want to hold your hand. It’s warm, really warm.” Sooyoung feels Jiwoo hold her hand more firmly.

Jiwoo’s hand is warm, too, and soft and _holdable_ , for lack of a better word. Sooyoung’s held many hands in her life, but Jiwoo’s feels different.

Maybe because unlike the first time they made contact when Sooyoung just rested a hand on top of Jiwoo’s out of sympathy, this time, Jiwoo’s holding her hand back.  

For a moment, just a mere few seconds, Jiwoo runs her thumb along a knuckle and tightens her grip, squeezing it firmly. It’s simple, subtle movement, but Sooyoung feels the emotion from such a small act. She looks at Jiwoo and finds her staring at their hands.

And then Jiwoo abruptly loosens her grasp, almost detaching their hold entirely, blinking as if she remembered something. It all happens in such a short moment and she’s soon back to holding Sooyoung’s hand normally.

Maybe Sooyoung has just really good intuition, or maybe Jiwoo is just that transparent, but Sooyoung thinks she can comprehend her every move.

Jiwoo has qualms because the hand she’s holding isn’t Jungeun’s. No matter how warm, comforting, or soothing Sooyoung’s hand may feel around hers, it probably just isn’t the same.

Sooyoung hopes she can change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chuulip nation close ur eyes  
> this update is in honour of yves looking mighty fine in the butterfly dance practice


	3. question: will the earth melt if it gets too close to the sun?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first it had nothing to do with the sun, then it had everything to do with the sun  
> p.s. do not click 'hide creator's style' or you'll miss out on the super slick ios messaging coding

Jiwoo's like the sun.

Yes, she's a bright presence with a blinding smile. But no, not because of that. She's like the sun in a sense that Sooyoung feels like she's 150 million kilometres away. A faraway, out-of-reach existence.

(Sooyoung is earth. Beautiful, resilient, but so susceptible to carelessness that it's harmful.) 

They texted each other as often as any pair of _acquaintances_ would, except the content of the conversations was mostly Jiwoo reminding her of things (memories they never shared and quirks Sooyoung doesn’t actually have) and Sooyoung confirming other things. Very business-like. As expected from a business student, Sooyoung guesses.

The frequency of their texts drastically dropped after Jungeun arrived. Jiwoo’s usual responses shortened to as least words possible, or even one word, just enough to answer whatever question Sooyoung had for her. And then she’d disappear. Even the reminders fizzled out.

Sooyoung’s not a fan of one-word replies. But she let it go and waited patiently for the day Jiwoo had to contact her again so she could meet Jungeun. Because she has to, right? That’s the whole point of this entire act.

But four days has passed and she still hasn’t met Jungeun. They’ve only got the summer. Sooyoung pulls out her phone.

kim jiwoo (the fake gf)  
  
hey. just wondering, when are you gonna introduce me to jungeun??  
  


Jiwoo doesn’t answer until almost an hour later.

  
maybe soon  
  
when are you free?  
  
whenever. this is my only job haha  
  
give me a shift, boss  
  
ok, will let u know  
  


Sooyoung stares at her phone with pursed lips, completely dissatisfied with the response. She asks Jiwoo where she’s been these past few days. As usual, Jiwoo’s answer doesn’t come until later.

  
catching up w jungeun and stuff  
  
have you talked about me ;)  
  


Of course she’s been catching up with Jungeun. The wink she haphazardly adds in is cringeworthy.

  
? not really...?  
  
why not?!!  
  
i'm supposed to be your gf. you really haven't mentioned me at all?  
  
haven't told her anything yet...  
  
talk to u later? i'm with her rn  
  


Ouch. Incredible, Jiwoo no longer feels _as far_ as the sun, she feels even _further!_ Sooyoung’s not used to getting the conversation cut on her. She lets out a heavy sigh, unceremoniously shoving her phone under her pillow and staring up at her ceiling.

_What am I doing?_

Absolutely nothing.

_This isn’t right._

Not at all. 

She reaches for her phone again and pulls up Jiwoo’s number, not to text her, but to call her.

Jiwoo picks up on the third ring.

“Why are you calling?” comes as a hushed whisper from the other end. Well, it’s not exactly the friendliest greeting. Sooyoung feels offended, but keeps her tone levelled.

“Why haven’t you told her about me?” Sooyoung asks, slightly upset.

“I just…haven’t found the opportunity to bring it up yet.”

“So she doesn’t know you have a girlfriend?”

“Well- _no_ , but-“

“But you know she has to know, right?”

“I know!”

Sooyoung sighs. “Well, we have to meet soon. She’s only here for the break. I’m free later.”

“Um,” Jiwoo pauses for a moment, “she’s meeting the gang later, actually.”

She opens her mouth in an overdramatized gasp. “You’re introducing her to your friends before me!”

“Alright, alright, fine,” Jiwoo says, still speaking in hushed whispers. She seems to be in a rush to return to whatever she was doing. “Show up later with Chaewon or something. Listen, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

And Jiwoo hangs up before Sooyoung could even get a word in. She huffs, throwing her phone back on her bed.

Jiwoo’s her first and most frustrating fake girlfriend yet.

 

* * *

 

Just like Jiwoo, Jungeun is also far prettier in person than in pictures. She has a charismatic air to her, a charming appeal that just exudes even without her saying anything. There was confidence behind her smile.

Sooyoung doesn’t know anything about her, nothing more than her face and the fact that she dumped Jiwoo on graduation day, so her default impression was one along the lines of _‘eh, she’s really not all that.’_

However, after seeing her in person, without even _exchanging_ words, Sooyoung already feels like taking back her adverse assumption of the girl. She might even dare to think that she _understands_ why Jiwoo’s still into her.

But hey, that’s just Sooyoung being shallow. She likes pretty girls, who doesn’t?

 _Dummy! This girl is why Jiwoo’s been feeling tormented for the past four months!_ the rational voice inside her yells. Sooyoung doesn’t usually listen to that voice.  

“Hello.”

The slight displeasure evident in Chaewon’s flat greeting is extremely amusing. It earns her an elbow nudge from Heejin and a glare from Jiwoo.

Chaewon had told Sooyoung on their way here that they’re supposed to act like they _don’t_ know that Jungeun dumped Jiwoo on graduation day. Chaewon seems to have momentarily forgotten that though.

“Jungeun, this is Heejin, Hyunjin, Chaewon, and…” Jiwoo starts, going down the line, dragging out her ‘and’ before finally saying in a suddenly smaller voice, “…Yves.”

Sooyoung smiles, but then she hears the three girls beside her simultaneously blurt out an unwelcome, confounded chorus of “ _Yves?”_

Jiwoo winces. Oh. Seems like she never told her friends about the whole _her-name-is-Yves-and-she’s-a-quarter-French_ part.

Their response obviously comes as a surprise to Jungeun, whose excited smile is replaced by a puzzled raising of her eyebrows. Surely, she expected Jiwoo’s friends to know of Yves.

Before things could turn awkward, Sooyoung quickly tries to salvage the situation.

She laughs. “Don’t call me that in public!” Sooyoung says, shooting Jiwoo a playful glare. She smiles at Jungeun. “You can call me Sooyoung.”

Jungeun remains confused though, judging by her still-lifted eyebrows. It certainly doesn’t help that Heejin, Hyunjin, and Chaewon are sharing equally puzzled looks with Jiwoo and Sooyoung. Clearly, they can’t read the situation and play along – or maybe they’re still taken aback by this random new fact. Like, who the hell is _Yves_?

“You’re…Yves?” Jungeun asks.

Despite all the baffled looks being shot at her (and an embarrassed, slightly panicky one from Jiwoo), Sooyoung keeps her cool and directs her attention towards Jungeun. She nods casually.

“Yeah, Jiwoo likes to tease me by calling me Yves. She thinks it’s cute, but…it’s pretty embarrassing,” she explains, even throwing in an effortless chuckle, “just Sooyoung is okay. God, she knows it embarrasses me, but she still calls me it!”

Sooyoung nudges Jiwoo with her elbow, whose face visibly relaxes. The younger girl lets out a subtle sigh of relief, telling Sooyoung _‘thank you_ ’ with one quick glance.

At last, her friends seem to have grasped the situation because they start playing along too. God, finally.

“You call her _Yves_ when you guys are alone?” Hyunjin suddenly blurts out. She throws her head back with a cackle as she clutches her stomach (though Sooyoung suspects she’s _genuinely_ amused). “That’s hilarious. We didn’t know that.”

“I think it’s cute,” Heejin chimes in with a kind smile. When Sooyoung glances at Jungeun, she’s relieved to see the girl looking much less confused than before.

Wow, her spontaneous excuse really worked.

“Yeah, disgustingly cute,” Chaewon says, “aren’t you two just the most _adorable_ couple ever?”

Sooyoung chuckles, looking at Jiwoo fondly as she reaches for her hand. Jiwoo flinches, but Sooyoung intertwines their fingers and holds it firmly. Now would be the wrong time for Jiwoo to waver.

When Jungeun notices the gesture, the confused expression returns on her face, this time in the form of closely knitted eyebrows.

“You two…are…?”

“They’re dating!” Chaewon answers without hesitation as she bites her lip to tame her smile and teeters on her toes. “Oh, you didn’t know?”

Jungeun shakes her head. “Jiwoo didn’t tell me.”

Everyone looks at Jiwoo, who sports a sort of vague expression on her face. From it, Sooyoung can discern hesitation (which is understandable). But there’s also self-consciousness somewhere in it and, most confusing of all, a hint of remorse, but Sooyoung couldn’t figure out why. Did she feel sorry for not telling her? No, that can’t be it, considering Jiwoo purposely waited this long to mention it. Perhaps…did she feel sorry for _having_ a girlfriend? Sooyoung doesn’t really understand that one.

She squeezes Jiwoo’s hand. It’s for reassurance, but mostly encouragement. A ‘go for it’ nudge from behind.

It seems to work because she can feel Jiwoo gripping her hand more firmly.

“Sorry,” Jiwoo says with a sheepish smile, “surprise…?”

The small chuckle that leaves Jungeun’s lips erases the confused expression off her face.

“Well, it’s nice to meet you,” she says to Sooyoung with a smile. It’s a slightly different smile from before, but figuring out how is beyond Sooyoung’s capabilities. Jungeun turns to Jiwoo’s friends, “all of you. Thanks for taking care of Jiwoo.”

“Jiwoo tells me you guys went to high school together,” Sooyoung says, still as casual as ever. From the look on her face, Jiwoo seems surprised to see just how good Sooyoung was at all of this. “You gotta tell me what she was like in high school.”

“Oooh, an exposé,” Hyunjin interjects, “I’d also like to hear that.”

Jiwoo glares at her. “No, no, you guys don’t need to know that.”

“She’s still the same Jiwoo I know,” Jungeun says unexpectedly. When Jiwoo catches her wistful stare, Jungeun doesn’t look away and Jiwoo doesn’t have it in her to tear her gaze away either.

_Is that…a longing stare?! That’s not what exes do!_

Sooyoung squeezes her hand, pulling Jiwoo’s attention away. The younger girl belatedly turns her head and finds Sooyoung giving her a kind smile – genuine, as if Jiwoo’s the fondest person on earth.

“Hey, the movie starts in thirty minutes,” Sooyoung says to her softly.

Jiwoo’s eyes narrow subtlely and in the five seconds of eye contact that they maintain, they have the quickest, most covert silent exchange ever:

 _‘What movie?!’_ says Jiwoo’s cocked eyebrow.  

 _‘I don’t know, just say something?!’_ says Sooyoung’s tight-lipped, relentless smile.

There is, of course, no movie; Sooyoung just needed to find an excuse to separate the two.  

Sooyoung could almost hear Jiwoo’s brain click when she finally gets the message.

“Ah! Right. The movie.” 

“Movie? I thought maybe we could hang out today…?” Jungeun looks at Jiwoo, who only gives her an apologetic smile.

“Oh. I’m sorry, Jiwoo and I planned a movie date today,” Sooyoung says.

Jiwoo just nods her head, urged by Sooyoung’s firm hold on her hand, hoping Jungeun doesn’t see through her. “Sorry, Jungeun…I have plans today…”

Sooyoung can tell that Jiwoo would much rather catch up with Jungeun, but suddenly bringing up this movie date idea on the spot didn’t give her enough time to figure out how to curve around it.

Jungeun smiles at her, at them. “That’s okay. You two have fun, it’s better to get there early.”

 

 

 

The group had dispersed and Jiwoo was obligated to follow Sooyoung all the way to her car. Only then did Jiwoo let go of her hand.

“Movie date…maybe you should run through ideas with me beforehand so I know what to expect…”

“We can’t predict conversations. You just have to be good at playing along,” Sooyoung tells. She looks over and sees the girl pouting at her, drawing a chuckle out of Sooyoung. “And be more assertive. Like link your arm with mine or something.”

“Okay…”

Silence descends as Sooyoung grips the steering wheel. Jiwoo wasn’t supposed to follow her to her car, but Jungeun had been watching them closely as they separated from the group.

“I’ll drive you home. Don’t look at the back seat, it’s messy,” Sooyoung says, a hint of sheepishness in her voice.

Jiwoo just hums her gratitude. She's right beside her, but she still feels out of Sooyoung's reach.

 

* * *

 

Over the next week, Sooyoung had gotten used to getting texts from Jiwoo, every single one related to their fake dating fiasco.

Not that Sooyoung ever anticipated daily good morning/good night texts or anything. It just sort of feels like she’s being thrown aside.

She shakes her head, reminding herself that this is just a job.

_Just a job! You’re not actually dating!_

The texts would be clear and succinct, very unlike Jiwoo’s image of fruits personified; bright, talkative, perky.

‘Jungeun and I are going to the park today. Pass by _._ ’ Things like that. And then Sooyoung would “coincidentally” show up with her usual beautiful smile and Jiwoo, following her advice, would link their arms, mindful of where Jungeun was looking. It was all very deliberate.

Something like this had occurred on three separate occasions already and Sooyoung was starting to worry that Jungeun might get suspicious soon.

“Are you _really_ okay with paying me to only ‘coincidentally’ pass by whenever you two are on dates?” Sooyoung asks. “This is seriously not realistic.”

They’re seated at a picnic table, alone after Jungeun had gone to buy ice cream. Of course, even today, Sooyoung had ‘coincidentally’ ran into them. Jungeun didn’t seem very pleased to see her crash their hang out session; she never did. Sooyoung’s starting to feel almost bad for interrupting even though _she’s_ supposed to be Jiwoo’s girlfriend.

Jiwoo visibly startles at the mention of dates. “D-dates? Jungeun and I are not going on dates…”

“You’re spending more time with her than with _me_ ,” Sooyoung replies with a sigh, “I hope you at least mention me every once in a while. It’s kind of weird that you’re with her, your ex, more often than me, your girlfriend.”

“It’s not weird! Before we’re exes, we’re _friends_. I haven’t seen her in four months,” Jiwoo defensively murmurs. When her phone buzzes with a text from Jungeun, something catches Sooyoung’s eye.

Jiwoo yelps when Sooyoung snatches the phone from her hands.

“Why is there still a _heart_ after Jungeun’s name?”

Exes are not supposed to have hearts beside their names.

Jiwoo blinks at her twice before looking down sheepishly. Sooyoung sighs and her disappointment shows in the form of a very deep, very obvious frown. Jiwoo is clearly terrible at this whole ‘ _moving on’_ thing. Like, really, really bad.

“I’m changing this.” Sooyoung deletes the emoji and takes it upon herself to add heart eyes beside her own name. Jiwoo just had her in her phone as ‘Ha Sooyoung’, plain and simple, and Sooyoung shoots her a tsk. “Way to treat your girlfriend…”

“ _Fake_ girlfriend,” Jiwoo quietly corrects her.  

Just as she looks up, Sooyoung spots Jungeun in the distance, looking their way and struggling to hold three ice cream cones. Acting on impulse, her most tenacious habit, Sooyoung moves to sit directly beside Jiwoo.

She wraps an arm around the younger girl’s waist, feels her freeze up instantly, and holds up the phone.

“Let’s take a picture,” Sooyoung tells her, giving Jiwoo no time to process what’s happening, “smile!”

They smile. _Click._ Sooyoung turns her head to look at Jiwoo endearingly. Maybe it’s genuine. _Click_. She leans in and plants a kiss on her cheek. Fleeting and unexpected. _Click_.

Pulling away, Sooyoung chuckles at the lipstick stain left on Jiwoo’s cheek. She reaches up and brushes her thumb against it, feeling the warmth radiating off of Jiwoo’s face. The girl sat still, frozen, only to suddenly pull away once Jungeun arrives.

Sooyoung puts her hand down quickly, not letting her jutted thumb linger any more awkwardly in the air. She hands Jiwoo’s phone back to her.

“Promise me you’ll make that your wallpaper?” Sooyoung asks her, holding out a pinky. Jiwoo’s eyes flitter from her pinky, to Jungeun, and back to Sooyoung, seemingly not knowing what to do.

_Oh my god, Jiwoo, please hold my goddamn pinky._

Sooyoung keeps her pinky up and her gaze towards Jiwoo. She doesn’t even have to look over to know that Jungeun is watching them from across the table. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Jiwoo holds up a timid pinky.

Sooyoung doesn’t hesitate to curl her finger around it.

“Send me that photo too,” Sooyoung says with a smile before turning her attention back to Jungeun, grabbing a cone out of her hands. 

Is it possible for the earth to move closer to the sun? Probably not. 'Impossible', however, is not a word in Sooyoung's dictionary. She will defy scientific laws if she has to. 

 

 

 

“So…how long have you two been dating?”

Sooyoung looks at Jiwoo with a raised eyebrow, urging her to give Jungeun an answer.

“A week before you came,” Jiwoo replies hesitantly.

“I was going to confess first. I had it all planned out, but she beat me to it,” Sooyoung adds immediately, “Not gonna lie, I was kind of surprised. Maybe it was my rolled omelette that won her over.” She keeps her gaze towards Jiwoo the entire time. “I’m happy. Jiwoo is lovely.”

Jiwoo returns her gaze, blinking at her with those big, open eyes. When someone is this cute, Sooyoung doesn’t really have any difficulty with saying the things she says. Compliments come out effortlessly. It makes the job a _whole_ lot easier.

“You confessed first?” Jungeun asks, the surprise transparent in her tone. Sooyoung looks over; she and Jiwoo didn’t talk about this beforehand.

Jiwoo confessing first was one of her spontaneous lies, precipitated on the spot only when the opportunity to strike a chord presented itself.

Jiwoo finally turns away from Sooyoung, a gaze that she had held out of awe, and nods. “Um, yeah, I mustered up the courage,” Jiwoo says, even daring to link an arm with Sooyoung’s at that moment.

Sooyoung doesn’t even realise her smile stretching into a grin for god knows _what_ reason.

“Do you want to know how we first met?” Sooyoung asks. She can tell Jungeun doesn’t really want to, but she goes ahead anyway, “this girl spilled coffee on me.”

Now this one was not one of her spontaneous lies; in fact, this coffee story is one of Jiwoo’s originals, shared with Jungeun weeks ago before she even knew of Sooyoung’s existence.

“It was the first time I’ve ever been thankful for having coffee spilled on me.” Sooyoung sweetly chuckles, speaking as if it’s a fond memory and not a completely made-up story.  Jungeun seems convinced, though.

“Jiwoo’s always been clumsy,” Jungeun replies for the sake of conversation. However, she suddenly switches up the topic. “Jiwoo told me you like to hike...? Jiwoo’s not a big fan of hiking.”

“Oh, I love it!” Sooyoung nods, the lie effortlessly sliding off her tongue, as if she wouldn’t rather _die_ than step foot on Seoraksan Mountain, “but yeah, I could tell. You know, she told me she liked to hike, but I guess that was just an excuse to spend more time with me.”

Sooyoung chuckles, glancing over at Jiwoo to shoot her a wink.

To her surprise, Jiwoo returns it with her most convincing giggle yet. “I even asked her first.”

Sooyoung smiles. Jiwoo’s getting good at playing pretend. Glancing over at Jungeun’s slow nods and wandering gaze, she knows their spontaneous lies are successfully sending a message: _yes, Jiwoo’s totally okay now. Yes, she has totally moved on._

No matter how true or untrue that message may be, this was the mission and they’re fulfilling it dutifully.

Food for thought: realistically, the earth moving closer to the sun would have detrimental effects - but think of the good it will do! For one thing, it'll get rid of humans (perhaps the most threatening species to ever live). Or it can foster a potentially beautiful relationship between two girls currently faking a connection.

 

* * *

 

Truthfully, Sooyoung had hoped she was getting paid to do more than just ‘coincidentally’ run into Jiwoo and Jungeun. She did mention once that getting paid to hang out with someone was easy money, but her and Jiwoo barely even hang out. Jiwoo should at least get her money’s worth.

Having nothing to do, she spends her summer days lazing around, waiting for texts from the younger girl. She reaches for her phone in boredom and half-heartedly finds Jiwoo’s name in her contacts, belatedly noticing that Jiwoo’s number is still displayed as ‘ _kim jiwoo (the fake gf)’_.

Thinking back to the ice cream date- _hangout_ she had ambushed, she decides to add a heart beside Jiwoo’s name as well.

Just in case.

Thinking back to that day, Sooyoung also remembers the promise she made with Jiwoo. Did that have to be a lie too? Impulsively, she texts her.

kim jiwoo <3  
  
did you change your wallpaper?  
  


Jiwoo replies almost instantly, catching Sooyoung by surprise. Maybe she was taken aback by Sooyoung texting her first; it was usually the other way around.

  
hm?  
  
oh right  
  
no, why? i don't usually have pictures of people as my wallpaper  
  


Sooyoung knits her eyebrows.

  
because you promised me. right in front of jungeun. she might notice  
  


Jiwoo replies back an ‘alrighty!’, seemingly without much thought. Well, that was easy. Just then, Sooyoung takes note of her own wallpaper – a generic, default beach scene – and texts Jiwoo back.

  
send me a selfie. i'll change my wallpaper too  
  


After a few minutes, a picture of Jiwoo donning a bright smile suddenly fills her screen. Sooyoung swears it’s like putting up the brightness on her phone.

An unconscious smile spreads across her face as she stares at the photo of Jiwoo.

“Cute…” she murmurs endearingly before catching herself, shaking her head.

 

* * *

 

“Do you want to hang out or something?”

The question catches Chaewon by surprise, who turns back to face Sooyoung fully. They had ran into each other in line at a coffee shop one early afternoon. Sooyoung wanted a hot drink; today feels more chilly than usual.

“I work.”

Sooyoung purses her lips, her shoulders dropping in disappointment. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I wish I never got fired…” she shoots a glare at Chaewon, “you shouldn’t have told me to lock those kids in!”

The younger girl gives her an offended gasp. “Oh my god, I _didn’t_! I told you, ‘Sooyoung, let them out or you’ll get fired’ but you just yelled back, ‘don’t tell me what to do, Chaewon!’ and then threw the key inside the haunted house!”

Sooyoung pauses. “…How to interpret that day is subjective,” she replies, waving at her dismissively, “I’m so bored, all my friends are away for break.”

“Hang out with Jiwoo,” Chaewon suggests, as if that thought never occurred to Sooyoung. She turns back around when the line moves forward.

“Jiwoo’s busy hanging out with Jungeun,” Sooyoung grumbles.

At this, Chaewon promptly spins on her heels, facing Sooyoung again and glaring at her with scarily wide eyes. “She’s what?!”

The sudden rise in her volume makes Sooyoung flinch and look around the café in insecurity.

“But she’s supposed to be moving on from her!”

“That’s what I thought,” Sooyoung replies in a quieter voice, hoping Chaewon would pick up on it and lower her voice too. The man ahead of Chaewon had looked over his shoulder.

Unfortunately, Chaewon didn’t get the message. “This is bad!!! Call her right now!!!”

“What? Why?”

“Call her to hang out right at this instant!” Chaewon exclaims, cutely stomping her leg.

She was far from intimidating, but Sooyoung whips out her phone immediately anyway in hopes that complying obediently would make Chaewon calm down. She's an embarrassment everywhere she goes.

 

 

 

Jiwoo picks up after a while.

“Jiwoo!” Sooyoung greets brightly, deflecting Chaewon’s sharp glare at her. She had pulled _both_ of them from the line since Chaewon was refusing to move forward and Sooyoung could hear the customers behind her grumbling about their commotion. “Are you free?”

“Why?” comes Jiwoo’s tentative voice from the other end.

 _‘Date, date,’_ Chaewon is mouthing to her. Sooyoung shoves her away.

“Let’s go on a date.”

“…Huh?”

“I’m bored. Play with me.”

Jiwoo is silent for a moment. Way to defeat her confidence; the mighty Sooyoung has never asked someone this hesitant to go hang out with her. She hears some rustling sounds from the other end before Jiwoo’s voice finally returns.

“I’m with Jungeun.”

Sooyoung fails to suppress her scoff. “Of course you are. By the way, did you change your wallpaper?”

“Yes,” Jiwoo replies, “she even saw the heart eyes beside your name.”

Sooyoung could almost _hear_ her pouting, if that was even possible. She takes note of it. “Good. This is good, remember,” she says, her tone reassuring, “listen, I won’t tell you to run out on Jungeun right now, but call me when you guys are done. I’ll pick you up, okay?”

Silence, again. Jiwoo’s really testing her assertiveness, but Sooyoung is not one to give up, not ‘til Jiwoo fires her like all her previous employers.

“Jiwoo,” she calls out again, “okay?”

She hears the faintest semblance of a sigh from the other end. “Yeah, okay.”

 

 

 

Sooyoung finds an open parking spot with a clear view of the café window and Jungeun and Jiwoo sitting across from each other behind it. It awfully looks like a date. She shakes her head in disapproval.

Sooyoung gets out and leans against the side of her car, channeling cool guys with leather jackets in movies. She texts Jiwoo to tell her that her blouse looks cute.

In amusement, Sooyoung watches Jiwoo’s head turn from her phone to all around her, wondering how Sooyoung knows what she’s wearing.

It’s Jungeun who notices Sooyoung in the parking lot first.

Sooyoung waves at her, but the brunette only smiles back. Soon after, Jiwoo takes notice of her and Sooyoung grins.

She watches as Jiwoo rises from the table, lips moving with words Sooyoung can’t read. Jungeun rises too and Sooyoung tilts her head when their hug lingers a little too long. Finally, Jiwoo comes out of the café, jogging to the passenger side without even sparing Sooyoung a glance.

“Wow, hello to you too,” Sooyoung grumbles.

Before ducking into the vehicle, Jiwoo sticks her tongue out at her from across the roof of the car and Sooyoung is unable to restrain the chuckle that slips past her lips. This girl is way too cute to be this frustrating.

Inside the car, Jiwoo keeps her stare straight ahead. Following her gaze, Sooyoung finds Jungeun at the end of it, holding Jiwoo’s stare from behind the café window.

_Is that…another longing stare?!_

Okay, _not_ good.

“Put your seatbelt on,” Sooyoung murmurs, successfully tearing Jiwoo’s gaze away as the younger girl switches her attention to fumbling with the seatbelt.

Knowing Jungeun’s eyes are still on Jiwoo, Sooyoung sighs. She has to do something about this. If her mere presence isn’t enough to slice through whatever tension, connection, or lingering feeling there is between Jiwoo and her ex, then she’s got to do _something_.

Moments like this practically _beg_ for her impulsivity to take the wheel. And so she lets it.

“Jiwoo.”

Upon hearing the soft voice calling for her, Jiwoo’s head snaps to face Sooyoung.

And this is when Sooyoung leans in, closing the distance between them, pressing her lips against Jiwoo’s in a soft, momentary kiss. 

Sooyoung pulls away only slightly, leaving the littlest of space between them. 'To be sunkissed' now has a new meaning.

“Hide your surprise, she’s watching,” she murmurs.

A weird feeling rises within her at this close distance – some unwelcome, unexpected urge to lean in again. But Sooyoung ignores it and pulls away.

Despite her advice to act normal, Jiwoo’s anything but. The girl stares at her with wide eyes, completely out of surprise. Opting for a nonverbal strategy instead, Sooyoung reaches over to help her put on her seatbelt.

It’s the click of the buckle that seems to finally snap Jiwoo out of her shocked stupor. She lets out a small chuckle, seemingly out of nervousness, or maybe confusion or disbelief, but it’s a contagious sound nevertheless and Sooyoung smiles to herself too.

When Sooyoung turns her attention back to the café window, she sees that Jungeun is no longer looking at Jiwoo, eyes glued to her phone instead.

Sooyoung pulls out of the parking lot. “Let’s go shopping.”

Logically, the closer the earth moves to the sun, the warmer it gets. Sooyoung feels it.

 

 

 

Sooyoung spends the whole rest of the day thinking about what happened in the car. She isn’t sure why. She's experienced far too many meaningless kisses to bother contemplating the significance of each one.

It was perhaps the briefest kiss she had ever done in her entire life, but the feeling of Jiwoo’s lips against her own is as vivid as it can get.

It was also just one of her spontaneous fake-girlfriend acts, initiated for a specific reason (Jungeun was watching!). So why can’t she stop thinking about it? She wonders if the short moment has been lingering in Jiwoo’s mind too.

However, judging from the younger girl’s actions, perhaps it may not have affected her as much as it did Sooyoung. She's been acting like her usual bright self since then, occasionally asking Sooyoung for her opinion on clothes.

_Why did I get the urge to kiss her again? She’s cute. It’s normal to want to kiss a cute girl. Everyone wants to kiss a cute girl. I always want to kiss cute girls. Cute girls with nice lips. That was normal. Totally normal. Why is Jiwoo back to acting so normally after being so surprised in the car? Has she forgotten about it already? Shit, if it was so insignificant for her, then why am I still thinking about it? Embarrassing. Did I come on too strong? Shut up, Sooyoung, your lips literally touched for 0.4 seconds. This is so stupid. Maybe I should've asked for permission. Consent! Oh no. I fucked up. I'm gonna get fired. Can I please keep a job for once? But I don't want Jiwoo and I to part, it's too soon! Like what happened with that kiss. Argh, snap out of it Sooyo-_

Sooyoung is jolted out of her meddling, rambling thoughts by a slightly frantic voice coming from behind the dressing room curtain.

“Um…Sooyoung…?”

“Hm?”

Jiwoo’s cute head pops out from behind the curtain, her face entirely red in embarrassment. “The zipper…it’s stuck…I-I can’t reach it…” She hides her nervous chuckle behind the curtain. It’s a cry of embarrassment.  

Sooyoung sighs and shakes her head. “Let me help.”

Jiwoo hurriedly nods and promptly slides the curtain close. Sooyoung starts marching towards the room, but suddenly pauses in her steps.

 _Wait, am I supposed to go inside…?_ She stands there frozen for a second.

Sooyoung clears her throat. “Um…I guess…I’m coming in…!” she says as a warning, raising her voice a bit.

But Jiwoo just sticks her head out again, eyebrows knitted as if to say _‘what are you doing?’_ and hastily motions for her to just come inside. And so Sooyoung does, cautiously, and Jiwoo shuts the curtain behind them.

The dress is half off Jiwoo’s shoulder, her long hair curving around her neck and swept to the front. Sooyoung avoids staring at her bare shoulder by darting her eyes to the condition of the dressing room instead: clothes and hangers are strewn all over the floor and a sandal that Jiwoo had thrown off her foot lies on its side with its other pair nowhere to be found.

“What the…did a tornado pass through?”

Jiwoo huffs, stepping right into Sooyoung’s line of sight. “Help get this off me before I _panic_!”

Sooyoung is left with no choice but to look at Jiwoo’s back. “Calm down,” she mutters, reaching up to grab the zipper. She fidgets with it, pulling it up, and then down, and then back and forth–

“Be careful!” Jiwoo harshly whispers, “don’t break it! It costs like a third of my tuition!”

“Why’d you try it on?” Sooyoung asks, now far too preoccupied with fixing the zipper to be distracted by Jiwoo’s bare shoulder.

“Because it was pretty!” Jiwoo turns her head in an attempt to look over her shoulder, only to bump into Sooyoung’s forehead.

“Ow!”

“Ouch! Ah- sorry!”

Sooyoung lifts her head and their eyes meet; it was impossible to avoid, really, at such the close distance between their faces. Her memory fleetingly flashes back to the kiss in her car, but before her eyes could flitter down to Jiwoo’s lips, before her cheeks could even be given the moment to flush, before her impulsivity takes over her again, the younger girl suddenly faces back to the front.

_Um. What the hell just happened._

Sooyoung shakes her head to get a hold of herself, remembering that life is not a fanfiction and she’s in a chaotic-looking dressing room with a barefoot Jiwoo wearing an expensive dress that’s half off one shoulder and a stuck zipper.

Returning her attention to the task at hand, Sooyoung finally figures out why this darn zipper won’t budge.  

“It’s stuck on your bra clasp.”

“What? Well, how can you get it _unstuck_?”

“I don’t know? Unclasp it?” Sooyoung says, her tone coated in amusement.

“Okay, do it then.”

Sooyoung’s smirk falters as she pauses, looking at Jiwoo through the mirror with a puzzled expression. “Huh?”

Jiwoo returns her look, appearing (expectedly) panicked and (unexpectedly) determined. “Just don’t hurt the dress.”

“It’s okay if I…?” Sooyoung asks tentatively because quite honestly, this is kind of a weird situation to find herself in and she’s never had to unclasp another girl’s bra outside of a bedroom. But Jiwoo doesn’t need to know that.

Question: will the earth melt if it gets too close to the sun? Like gloop, or clocks in a Dali painting.

"Yeah- why are you acting so weird?"

Oh. Yeah, why is she? That was a slap Sooyoung needed. She blinks, once, twice, and then lets out an easy chuckle. “Okay then, if you say so. Hold the front.” Back to normal mode. Super normal. This is totally normal.  

“I–“

Sooyoung unclasps the bra and the straps loosen in an instant. She glances at the mirror and smirks, highly amused at seeing Jiwoo hug her chest tightly. Sooyoung tries again with the zipper and this time, it finally budges. She pulls it down slightly, careful not to unzip any further (she really doesn’t need to see anymore), and immediately clasps Jiwoo’s bra close again.

Jiwoo breaths out a visibly deep sigh of relief. “Thank you!”

Sooyoung smiles at her through the mirror, tight-lipped and slightly cheeky. “No problem. What are fake girlfriends for?” she says as Jiwoo chuckles lightly and turns around to face her. She shifts on her feet, curling her toes in embarrassment, when Sooyoung tilts her head and eyes her up and down.

“Pretty. You weren’t going to show me before taking it off? Leave me to my imagination instead?” Sooyoung teases.

Jiwoo narrows her eyes, the tips of her lips teasing a smile as she reaches out and pushes Sooyoung out of the dressing room. “Nope! Get out!”

Sooyoung’s laughing as she stumbles outside of the dressing room. The sound of their laughter triumphs over the music blasting from the store’s speakers overhead.

For once, Jiwoo doesn't feel as distant as the sun. She gives off a pleasant kind of warmth, like a fireplace at a winter cottage. She feels nearby, reachable, not 150 million kilometres away. Just on the other side of the curtain. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let’s get them formalities out of the way!  
> question: will the chapters keep getting longer and longer?!


	4. ha sooyoung, you’re on a roll! (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today’s dinner special: breaking-the-fourth-wall à la mode with a side of really-hoping-my-fun-experimenting-doesn’t-backfire. [chef’s kiss]

Sooyoung wants to rip her own throat out.

It won’t stop itching and her nose is stuffy and her eyes are so watery, she feels like she’s been cutting onions for two hours. She lets out a sneeze.

 _Ha Sooyoung, please suck it up, you’re not dying._ A voice in her head says.

Sometimes, this invisible figure appears on her shoulder. It’s not really an angel nor a devil, more like a companion that annoyingly chides her when she does something stupid, but also pats her on the back when she’s deserving of one. Inside her mind, a third-person perspective narrating her actions. Like a bespectacled girl sitting in front of a laptop, writing out the trials and tribulations of Sooyoung’s life and throwing in her own unwanted remarks into the story. 

Sometimes, Sooyoung wants to flick it off her shoulder.

_Ha Sooyoung, you can’t get rid of me, I’m in your head!_

When Sooyoung opens her eyes, she finds Jiwoo looking up at her, eyes wide and eyebrows knitted in deep worry.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m f-“ another sneeze, “-fine.” Sooyoung sniffles.

“I am so _, soooo_ sorry,” Jiwoo whispers. They’re cooped up in the bathroom of Hyunjin’s house, with Sooyoung sitting on the toilet and Jiwoo kneeling in front of her. “If I had known you were allergic…”

Much to Sooyoung’s misery, one of _Yves_ ’ charming attributes that Jiwoo had so generously fabricated and told in stark detail to Jungeun was her love for cats, and in particular, her precious pet fur ball Milk.

Except Milk is actually Hyunjin’s cat and Sooyoung is, unfortunately, allergic to cats. In some greater stroke of misfortune, Jiwoo had accidentally let Milk’s name slip in a conversation with Jungeun, who somehow remembered this detail and excitedly asked Jiwoo if she could meet Milk.

So Jiwoo precipitated a barely believable excuse on the spot: that Milk is with Hyunjin right now because she’s cat-sitting for the summer in a bet over who Milk likes more.

And that was how they found themselves one afternoon at Hyunjin’s house, with Hyunjin and Jungeun playing with Milk in the living room while Sooyoung almost-dies in the bathroom and Jiwoo tries to comfort her…from almost-dying. 

Sooyoung sneezes again and Jiwoo lets out a small concerned yelp, practically shoving the box of tissues into Sooyoung’s lap. Sooyoung may be almost- _dying_ but Jiwoo is caressing her arm comfortingly and that, at least, makes things feel less awful.

Jiwoo looks up at her with big, wide eyes and worry etched on her face that can be seen from a mile away. It does absolute  _wonders_ for the suffering Sooyoung.

This girl can probably cure a disease with her smile.

“Do I need to call anyone? Or like, do-do you need anything, l-like those yellow things people stab themselves on the thigh with-“

“Jiwoo,” Sooyoung manages to say, “it’s fine. I’m not like, severely allergic or anything.” She coughs to get an itch out of her burning throat.

Jiwoo frowns as her shoulders drop. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have slipped up and mentioned Milk, I don’t even know why Jungeun remembered that Yves has a cat named Milk and I should’ve just shut up instead of rambling about how Hyunjin was cat-sitting because of a bet and it's just a lie on top of a lie on top of a lie and now you’re here _dying_ because it turns out you’re allergic to-”

Sooyoung interrupts her because she knows once Jiwoo starts rambling, she threatens to become an unstoppable, derailed train. “ _Jiwoo_. Calm down.” She puts her hand on the younger girl's shoulder. “I’m not dying and this is just another situation we have to deal with. There was no way you could’ve known what I was allergic to. Don’t blame yourself.”

Jiwoo pouts this time and Sooyoung can’t help but smile because this is the most attention Jiwoo has ever paid her. Not that Sooyoung’s usually the needy type, but Jiwoo has sort of thrown her aside lately, so _this…_

This is nice.

Her concern is far too endearing and Sooyoung just wants to squeeze her cheeks and give her the world and make all her worries disappear and kiss her pout away-

_Ha Sooyoung, what on earth are you thinking?_

Sooyoung coughs and it sounds more forced than necessary. Standing from the toilet, she helps Jiwoo to her feet. She hasn’t taken her eyes off of Sooyoung the entire time and this is probably the longest she's ever stared at her. 

“Help me look presentable before we go back out there.”

“Are you sure you’re ready to go back out?”

Sooyoung cocks an eyebrow at her, smirking. “What, you wanna stay in here with me a little longer?”

The flirtatious undertone flies straight over Jiwoo’s head, who keeps looking at her with the same concern in her eyes. “Are you feeling better?”

Truthfully, she isn’t, but they can’t stay in the bathroom forever, having rushed here when her allergic reactions had become too much. Jungeun might get suspicious.

“I’ll be fine,” Sooyoung reassures her.

Luckily, there was Benadryl in the bathroom cupboards that Hyunjin had urged Sooyoung to use.

Fixing her appearance until Jiwoo approved of her look ( _“I’ll go back out once you say I look pretty”_ typical Sooyoung fishing for compliments at every opportunity), a final sneeze escapes from Sooyoung and they finally leave the bathroom.

Jiwoo’s gentle hand on the small of Sooyoung’s back is consoling. In the living room, they spot Hyunjin and Jungeun playing with Milk.

“Are you okay?” Jungeun asks her upon seeing them return.

“Yeah, just a bit under the weather,” Sooyoung says, sounding quite normal, “I must be allergic to something in Hyunjin’s house.”

“Sorry,” Hyunjin says, “maybe it’s one of my mom’s plants. Or maybe bunnies? Heejin likes to bring her bunnies over a lot so, like, there may be bunny…particles…or whatever, all over.”

A valiant attempt that _somehow_ sounded sort of believable. Hyunjin was a decent liar; even if her choice of words may beg to differ, she could be convincing with her tone and disposition.

Jungeun seems to buy it, at least. “My aunt is allergic to house plants,” she even says.

Sooyoung suddenly steps forward and marches towards Milk, scooping up the live-explosive-disguised-as-a-fluffy-ball in her arms. Sooyoung will hate herself for this later. But she knows she must do it. 

The concern in Jiwoo’s eyes return, but it softens once she sees how gentle and casual Sooyoung cradles Milk, even daring to nuzzle her nose (still surely itchy) into the cat, as if all her love and affection belongs to this cat and this cat only.

They’re lucky Milk is a nice cat and can curl comfortably into any stranger’s hold, but when Sooyoung feels her eyes begin to water again, she shoots the subtlest SOS signal towards Hyunjin.

Hyunjin construes it immediately and grabs Milk out of her arms. Gratitude secretly floods all over Sooyoung, it almost clears up her sinuses. 

“Hey, give him back!” Sooyoung exclaims, feigning offence.

“Milk likes _me_ more,” Hyunjin says, kissing the cat, “don’t you think so, Jungeun?”

Jungeun chuckles. “Looks like it.”

Sooyoung sighs and drags herself over to the couch. Jiwoo, still following her with the worry of a mother (or a girlfriend), plops down beside her. Sooyoung sends a tender smile her way. It’s supposed to assure Jiwoo she’s fine, but mostly it’s one of endearment from seeing the adorable concern and remorse on her face.

Jiwoo’s being so attentive towards her, even though Jungeun’s just a mere five feet away. Usually, when Sooyoung was with the both of them, Jiwoo struggled to divide her attention. The girl was still utterly drawn towards Jungeun, leaving Sooyoung having to remind her wordlessly and through actions that _she’s_ the fake girlfriend. Jiwoo needs no reminders today, it seems. Even if it takes Sooyoung almost-dying, the attention she gets feels so healing that it's worth it. 

_Damn, bare minimum much?_

Another unwanted sneeze escapes and Jiwoo is there to readily clutch onto her arm. Sooyoung goes to hold her hand instead, intertwining their fingers, and Jiwoo responds by rubbing comforting circles with her thumb when Sooyoung sniffles. 

Sooyoung thinks she can get used to this. She’d like to.

_Ha Sooyoung, did you catch allergens or feelings?_

At this point, Sooyoung can’t tell.

 

* * *

 

 

“Let’s hang out.”

“I was just about to ask Jungeun if she wanted to visit our high school,” comes Jiwoo’s voice from the other end of the call.

Frankly, Sooyoung is getting tired of their phone conversations revolving around her trying to pull Jiwoo away from dates with her ex. 

Sooyoung pauses from tying her shoes and grabs the phone tucked between her ear and shoulder. “Why would you do that?”

“Uh,” Jiwoo starts, “because we haven’t visited yet…?”

“Take me instead.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I’m your girlfriend.”

“My fake girlfriend-“

“You’re taking your ex out way more than your girlfriend-“

“ _Fake_ girlfriend-“

“I want to see your high school!”

Jiwoo huffs. “But that place doesn’t even have any sentimental value for you!”

“But it does for you!” Sooyoung replies, “minus that memory of you getting dumped on graduation day.”

Jiwoo goes silent on the other end before her voice returns, small and whiny, to say a drawn out ‘ _stoooop_ ’.

Sooyoung sighs, getting to her feet. “Sorry. I know it’s a painful memory, but you seem to have forgotten it _happened,_ considering how much you hang out with her and how normal you guys act around each other.”

Sooyoung wonders if Jiwoo still remembers how she almost had an emotional breakdown over it in front of her during their first meeting.

“Because we’re still…friends,” Jiwoo says and even through the phone, Sooyoung can sense the sadness in her tone.

"Friends..."

"Exes can still be friends!"

"Sure, Jiwoo, but it won't work out if one is still pining after the other." When Sooyoung doesn't hear anything from the other end, she continues, "listen, I'm not saying you should unfriend your best friend. But you have a lot of work to do if you want things to go back to normal."

"...We're normal friends! And normal friends hang out regularly.”

“Well, all the more reason to take me," Sooyoung counters, "I know I’m just your fake girlfriend or whatever, but can we at least be, I dunno,  _real_ friends...?”

Sooyoung didn’t mean for that to sound more sentimental than it came out as, but it’s too late to swallow back her words now. 

Jiwoo seems to have been slightly taken aback too, considering her sudden silence, but Sooyoung waits for a response. They’re going to hang out, even if Sooyoung has to drag her out of her house.

“Of course,” Jiwoo says and the sentiment in her voice is unexpected too, as if she realized that she had done something wrong. She hasn’t, not really.

Sooyoung lightens her tone, sounding optimistic. “Great! I’ll pick you up in 10.”

 

 

 

Even on a weekend, there are students wandering about at Jiwoo’s school. As they dodge kids in uniforms rushing down the hallways, Sooyoung feels like she’s been dragged back in time to when she was still in high school.

Not that it was an unpleasant experience or anything, but for Sooyoung, who only showed up to school when she needed to (never came by on weekends, nor did she ever bother to stay after the last bell), she wouldn’t consider it a very significant period in her life. Naturally, she only remembers her high school years as a time of coming into terms with her sexuality and pining after female classmates who never fully understood her intentions.

Even if she’s gone through all that growing up and understanding herself, she still can’t help but childishly wonder if the two girls that pass by them, skipping hand-in-hand down the corridor, are just friends or something more.

Sooyoung held a lot of hands in high school, but they never meant anything. For them, at least.

_Ha Sooyoung, a chance has opened up._

“Do you want to hold hands?” she suddenly asks.

Jiwoo glances over for a moment, looking down at Sooyoung’s outstretched hand before taking it in hers.

Sooyoung smiles, letting their linked hands sway lightly between them as they stroll down the hallway.

“Hm, don’t you think your hand just fits right into mine?” Sooyoung muses. That’s a line she used in high school when she was brave enough to openly flirt with her friends, but too careful to go any further. Their usual responses were flustered giggles or cringing groans – either way, Sooyoung always found it cute.

Jiwoo’s response is a first.

“They fit alright, I think,” the younger girl says, sending a small, cheeky smile towards Sooyoung before turning her attention to the club posters on the wall.

"You think so?" Sooyoung’s lips curl up. “Me too.”

The sound of music fills their ears, louder as they walk further down the hallway. Jiwoo hesitantly pauses in front of the music room and Sooyoung sticks her head in, peaking for only a second at the students practicing before Jiwoo’s already tugging her away.

“Hey- why the rush?” 

“It’s just the music room, nothing special,” Jiwoo murmurs, the music gradually quieting as Sooyoung is pulled further and further away.

“Didn’t you say you love music?”

“Mhm,” Jiwoo hums absentmindedly.

Sooyoung’s got an inkling feeling that the music room likely holds some meaning to Jiwoo and Jungeun's probably involved somewhere in its significance. Well, if avoiding it is helping her move on, then Sooyoung will let her be. For now, at least. 

“Can I hear you play piano one day?” she asks. It's a change of topic, but not a complete one. 

“You want to?”

“I’d love to.”

Jiwoo looks at her with a scrunched-up nose. “I don’t just serenade anyone, you know.”

“What, I’m not special enough?” Sooyoung asks, amused.

“Haha, nope.”

She frowns in jest. “That’s not very nice, I’m your girlfriend.”

“Fake girlfriend.”

Sooyoung purses her lips. “Do you have to point it out every time? It’s a given. Also a _total_ character breaker.”

“Sorry, it’s just…a reminder, or something,” Jiwoo replies sheepishly.

“Neither of us should need reminders.”

Maybe Jiwoo hates her, maybe Jiwoo's playing hard to get, who knows. Sooyoung wants to do a good job with this fake dating stuff, but Jiwoo’s reactions can feel so stale sometimes that it’s discouraging.

Just then, someone shouts Jiwoo’s name with an excited gasp. Sooyoung looks for the source of the voice and finds a fresh-faced, cheerful girl waving at them wildly. The way she wildly runs towards them makes Sooyoung think she’s being chased by some animal, if not for the huge grin on her face. And do they really allow vivid purple hair at school nowadays? Oh, how times have changed. 

Jiwoo lets go of her hand to accept the bear hug that the student gives her.

“Jiwoo! Oh my gosh, I haven’t seen you in like, _ages_!” the younger girl says, breaking apart to give Sooyoung an equally excited greeting even though Sooyoung has zero clue who she is. “Hi!!! Who’s this?” She nudges Jiwoo teasingly, her eyebrows going up and down.

“This is Sooyoung,” Jiwoo says, “a friend.”

 _A friend._ Sooyoung quirks an eyebrow before realising that maybe this girl with a permanent smiley emoji for a face doesn’t know Jiwoo likes girls.

“Nice to meet you!! I’m Yerim, Jiwoo’s favourite junior.”

“Who said _that_?” Jiwoo asks.

“I did!”

Sooyoung can’t decide whether their combined giddiness is tiring or contagious.

_Ha Sooyoung, you’re smiling._

Maybe it’s contagious then.

“Nice to meet you, Yerim,” Sooyoung greets.

“You’re pretty!” Yerim tells her, still smiling up at Sooyoung like a wonderstruck child at the candy store.

And then suddenly, the kids multiply and a black-haired student suddenly pops up from around the corner, almost running into Yerim.

“ _Oof-_ Hyejoo, what did I say about watching where you walk?” Yerim scolds, her smile finally disappearing as it morphs into pursed lips. It’s still cute though, hardly intimidating.

“Hyejoo!” comes Jiwoo’s bright voice and she sounds like she never left high (middle) school. She envelopes the black-haired girl into a hug that’s weakly returned. “My favourite junior!”

Yerim pouts at that one.

“Hi Jiwoo, I didn’t know you were stopping by today,” she says. Despite the lack of enthusiasm, she readily returns Jiwoo’s hug. The contrast in character between her and Yerim is amusing, to say the least.

Maybe Sooyoung has a strong presence, or maybe Jiwoo’s high school pals are just kind enough to acknowledge her, because Hyejoo immediately takes note of her too.

“Is this your new girlfriend?” she asks Jiwoo. It’s a casual question, but Jiwoo breaks their hug apart immediately to shoot it down.

“What? No!”

“Jiwoo says she’s just a _friend_ ,” Yerim interjects.

Oh, so they _do_ know.

Hyejoo just nods and looks her up and down. Sooyoung suddenly feels self-conscious. What’s this little punk looking at?

“You look like Jiwoo’s type,” Hyejoo says this to her this time.

That quirks Sooyoung’s interest, for obvious reasons. “Her type?”

Jiwoo’s quick to jump in. “What? How do you even know that?” she asks before shaking her head as if that wasn’t what she was supposed to say, “I mean- what are you even basing that on?”

Hyejoo shrugs; clearly a girl of few words and even fewer actions. She turns her attention back to Yerim. “Ms. Jeong wants to see you in the staff room. She wants you to stop drawing smiley faces on all the quizzes you help her mark.”

Yerim frowns. Unsurprisingly, it’s _still_ cute. “What’s wrong with my smileys?! Ugh, okay. We’ll catch you later, Jiwoo! It was nice meeting you, Sooyoung!”

She skips away after an excessively excited goodbye hug. Hyejoo leaves them alone soon after, though Sooyoung wishes she called her by her name instead of saying, _‘bye Jiwoo and not-Jiwoo’s-girlfriend’._

“You have cute juniors,” Sooyoung muses when they’re alone again.

Jiwoo lets out a content sigh. “They’re annoying. But I love them.”

“You should’ve just told them I was your girlfriend.”

“We don’t need to keep up the act for _everyone_ ,” Jiwoo replies sheepishly. She’s right, really, so Sooyoung can’t even fight that. (Or is she?)

“Wow, am I _that_ undesirable?” It’s only a half-joke, playful with her tone, but it’s also something she wants to get off her chest.

Jiwoo looks at her with widened eyes. “Huh? No! Not at all. It’s not that,” she stammers, “it’s just…I dunno. You’re you and I’m…me.”

Sooyoung raises an eyebrow. That makes no sense to her, but she shrugs it off. Why the sudden insecurity? Jiwoo just embodies uncertainty sometimes. Sooyoung’s sure she’s got a web of unpolished feelings within her, no doubt the still-stinging wounds of her previous relationship clashing with lingering attachment for the same person who gave her those wounds. Maybe she’s just hesitant of being in any semblance of a _relationship_ , real or not.

_Hey Sooyoung, Jiwoo probably won’t appreciate your weird psychoanalysis of her actions, so please keep it to yourself. We’re trying not to get fired here, remember?_

“Is the prospect of dating me for real that unrealistic to you?” Sooyoung asks with a teasing smile on her lips, “I mean, I could see myself dating you.”

Jiwoo turns away from her, flustered. “I- thanks,” she mutters bashfully, “um, it’s just…if things were normal, I wouldn’t even have the courage to approach you anyway, so…”

“Why not? I’m just a girl, you know. Not some…untouchable deity, or something.”

Contrary to popular belief, professional narcissist Sooyoung _is_ capable of being humble sometimes. Sometimes.

“Sometimes you seem like it.” Jiwoo starts walking down the hallway again. Sooyoung follows her closely from behind. “You’re thoughtful...and charming...and beautiful...and so good at acting like my fake girlfriend that even I start to believe it...”

Oh, really?

_Ha Sooyoung…we got ‘em._

There’s a stupid grin that threatens to stretch across on Sooyoung’s face and she has to bite her lip to suppress it. God, she feels like a giddy schoolgirl; strolling down a high school corridor with the golden hour sunlight streaming through the windows and an easy breeze blowing through the curtains, she imagines they look like a scene straight out of a teenage romance film. Sooyoung feels like it’s all make-believe. She just can’t understand why.

Well, at least she knows she’s doing a good job. No firing today! Sooyoung survives another day.

Jiwoo keeps her attention towards the floor, hopping from floor tile to floor tile, as if she’s embarrassed to turn around and look. If only she did, she’d find Sooyoung trailing behind her with hands clasped bashfully behind her back.

“Well, don’t stop yourself from believing in it,” Sooyoung muses.

It’s a dreamy suggestion, but pragmatically, it’d also help their whole relationship seem that much more believable if Jiwoo just lets go of whatever reservations she has.  

Jiwoo seems to have run out of things to say as she switches from stepping on floor tiles to walking on the lines between them like she’s on a precarious but steady tight rope. In a way, it encapsulates the mood of their conversation: uncertain, delicate, and an unexpected sort of serenity. 

“So,” Sooyoung says, watching as Jiwoo holds her arms out to balance herself, “what was that about me being your type…?”

She asks it lightheartedly, hoping that whatever airy feeling settling around them sticks around for a while. Sooyoung’s never felt this content around another person before. 

Jiwoo loses her balance as she slightly jolts forward, halting her steps as if a gust of a wind had passed through. Sooyoung’s still peering at her from behind, but Jiwoo hasn't turned around.

“N-nothing, Hyejoo just likes to tease me…” Jiwoo murmurs.

“Come on, it’s fine to admit you like someone thoughtful, charming, beautiful, and so good at acting like a fake girlfriend _._ ”

“Hey!" Jiwoo huffs cutely, “don’t start teasing me too!”

She spins around this time with knitted eyebrows and Sooyoung hardly misses the glowing flush of her cheeks. Has she been blushing this entire time? The thought of it pulls a chuckle out of Sooyoung.

“You’re just so easy to tease, Jiwoo.”

_Ha Sooyoung, you’re on a roll! Don’t mess it up now!_

She takes a step closer, lips pressed tightly together in a trying attempt to curb her bemused grin. Sooyoung credits Jiwoo for maintaining eye contact even if her cheeks look like they're on fire.

The distance between them is a safe one and Sooyoung only leans in slightly as her eyes flitter around Jiwoo’s face, from her rosy cheeks, to her curious eyes, down to her parted lips.

Jiwoo doesn’t take a step back, nor look away. She watches Sooyoung just as carefully. “What are you doing?” she murmurs quietly.   

For once, Sooyoung holds back from doing something impulsive and instead, says it in words:

“I wish Jungeun was here so I could have a reason to kiss you right now.”


	5. ha sooyoung, you may not be on a roll (part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as promised, here’s part 2…or: sooyoung’s confusing everyone (both behind & in front of the 4th wall) with her feelings, including herself

Sooyoung’s thoughts have gone from _‘do I want to kiss her?’_ to _‘I do want to kiss her’_ and she isn’t really sure when exactly it made that transition, but she has an inkling feeling that it’s a bit of a shallow development.

As in, ‘ _I want to kiss her’…’because she’s cute’_ and not ‘ _because I like her’._ That’s what Sooyoung tells herself, at least.

She spends less of her days waiting on Jiwoo’s texts out of boredom, and more on waiting for them out of hope. It’s a weird turn of events and realising that the younger girl permeates her thoughts way more often than she’d like, Sooyoung is starting to feel kind of freaked out.

She shoves it to the back of her head, obviously. It joins a nice collection of snubbed regrets over every careless thing she’s ever done (because Ha Sooyoung does not live life with regrets).

On a separate note, it’s hard for her to gauge how effective the whole fake dating thing has been. Certainly, her and Jiwoo have gotten a lot better at acting like it and sure, they look natural enough that anyone could guess it. However, she has no idea how Jungeun sees it. The girl doesn’t even look remotely jealous, or maybe she’s just really good at hiding it.

And of course, Jiwoo’s only willing to initiate and reciprocate when she knows she has to – like when they’re with Jungeun – and Sooyoung’s left to constantly think of excuses to hang out with her alone. Jiwoo swears she hasn’t been spending all her time with Jungeun, but Sooyoung suspects otherwise.

Because even now, as Sooyoung lazes around on the grass, Jiwoo’s eyes are glued to her phone, texting someone else, surely.

Aside from Jiwoo barely paying her any attention and the fact that Heejin, Hyunjin, and Chaewon are only gone because they went off to buy snacks at the convenience store, Sooyoung could at least pretend this was some park date between the two of them and not a platonic hangout she just tagged along on.

_Sure, Ha Sooyoung, whatever gets you through the day._

“Jungeun says she’ll be here soon,” Jiwoo mentions.

Oh right. Sooyoung forgot she was invited too.

She’s been trying to ignore the possibility that the only reason she’s here is because Jungeun was coming. None of the other girls would admit it anyway, even if it was the truth. Usually she’d point it out as a joke, but it hurts her ego, so she doesn’t say anything.

Sooyoung just hums. She rolls over to Jiwoo, putting her head right on the girl’s lap without warning. Jiwoo doesn’t push her away, but blinks at her for a few seconds before returning her attention to the screen.

“Oh.”

Jiwoo quirks an eyebrow. “What?”

“You’re pretty from this angle too.”

Suddenly feeling tongue-tied, the girl above her refrains from saying anything and promptly hides her face behind her phone. Kim Jiwoo, the Elusive. It’s like her superhero alter ego.

Sooyoung grins as she looks up at the girl looming over her. “Do I have permission to kiss you after Jungeun gets here?”

She doesn’t know where she’s gotten this recent courage to mention kissing around Jiwoo more often–

_Uh, probably when you decided that you actually want to?_

–but Sooyoung’s definitely not stopping any time soon.

Jiwoo finally tears her gaze away from her phone. “No!” she says, sounding almost panicked.

It’s hard to describe exactly how Jiwoo’s behaviour has changed ever since their totally-friendly-and-platonic trip to Jiwoo’s high school, but the nuances are there, and Sooyoung has been paying her enough attention lately to notice it. If she _had_ to put a description to it, it’d be that Jiwoo’s been more shy around her lately.

Sooyoung feigns offence. “Why not?”

“It’s embarrassing!” Jiwoo admits, “I never kissed anyone in front of my friends before, not even during high school…”

Sooyoung purses her lips in defeat. _Fair enough_. “Okay, no is no. Well, don’t forget to at least spare me a glance or two.”

Jiwoo frowns at Sooyoung’s pout and maybe she _is_ considerate of Sooyoung’s feelings. “I will! I’ll spare you _multiple_ glances.”

Hard to believe, but pearly whites appear from behind Sooyoung’s lips as she widely smiles anyway.

“You’re free to do anything with me, by the way,” Sooyoung hums, closing her eyes to avoid the sun, “just in case you change your mind and want to kiss me, or something.”

Sooyoung can’t see it, but Jiwoo widens her eyes. “ _Okay_ , I know, I got it,” she hurriedly replies. Hearing the fluster in her voice, Sooyoung opens an eye and finds Jiwoo hiding her face behind her phone.

When she closes her eyes again, Sooyoung senses Jiwoo shift slightly above her and suddenly, the back of her eyelids darken. Jiwoo's shading her eyes from the sun, a classic move. How can Sooyoung even attempt to suppress her smile when Jiwoo does things like this?

She’s noticed that too, lately. They’d be subtle expressions of care, a secretive type of concern, that Jiwoo would show her every once in a while and hopes it’d somehow fly over Sooyoung’s head. Of course, it never does. And it never fails to put a smile on Sooyoung's face, or melt her heart for a second or two. 

“You guys look extremely convincing and disgustingly cute right now, I’m pretty impressed.”

 _Record scratch._ The offhand comment interrupting their moment is courtesy of a certain Kim Hyunjin. Sooyoung opens her eyes just in time to see the three girls settling down around them on the picnic blanket, each with a plastic bag full of snacks.

“Chaewon, you only bought one bottle of Mogu Mogu!?” Heejin exclaims over the sound of rustling plastic. “Both Jungeun and Jiwoo wanted one!”

“Oh really? Whoops,” comes Chaewon’s innocently childish reply.

Hyunjin doesn’t fall for it. “She probably did that on purpose.”

“It’s fine, Jungeun can have my drink,” Jiwoo offers and Sooyoung’s eyes immediately shoot open to glare at the girl above her.

“No, give her mine,” Sooyoung says, “you and I can share.”

Jiwoo glances at her with the naivest look in her eyes. “Jungeun doesn’t drink cider. She likes Mogu Mogu, like me.”

“I like Mogu Mogu too, can you give it to me instead?”

Jiwoo’s eyebrows knit in momentary confusion. “But you said you wanted cider.”

“Well now I want Mogu Mogu.”

“But what will Jungeun drink?”

“ _Jungeun_ can have someone else’s drink, either keep your Mogu Mogu or give it to me.”

_Ha Sooyoung, why are you getting so worked up over Mogu Mogu?!_

Heejin interrupts their seemingly pointless back-and-forth. “I’ll just go buy another bottle! Geez, guys.” She throws a glare towards Chaewon, who mindlessly pops open a bag of chips with a shrug.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to!” Jiwoo says upon seeing Heejin getting up. She sighs out of frustration. “What’s the problem? Just give her my Mogu Mogu. I have a water bottle in my bag, I don’t mind.”

This time, Chaewon speaks up with a yelp, “don’t be ridiculous, Jiwoo! You’re giving up your god given _right_ to Mogu Mogu!”

Jiwoo doesn’t seem to understand what all the fuss is about. “It’s just a drink! Oh my god, guys.”

Just then, Jungeun arrives at the most _opportune_ time, greeting everyone with a bright smile, though it falters a bit when she meets Sooyoung’s eyes from Jiwoo’s lap for reasons unknown. The Mogu Mogu discourse comes to a halting silence.

“Uh, hi Jungeun, I’m just leaving to buy you a bottle of Mogu Mogu. Be right back!” Heejin says, scurrying off before anyone could stop her.

“Sorry, I told them you could have my drink, but Heejin insists on buying you a bottle,” Jiwoo greets with a sheepish smile. Sooyoung’s abruptly brought back to earth when Jiwoo lifts her head and starts squirming beneath her. “Sooyoung, move your big head.”

“Hey, I do _not_ have a big head!” Sooyoung protests and somewhere, Hyunjin lets out an amused snort.

Unexpectedly, she’s less annoyed about Hyunjin and more annoyed with Jiwoo trying to make space for Jungeun.

 

 

 

“…they’re fighting over a pair of _Minion socks_! Can you believe that?!...”

Despite promises to spare her ‘multiple glances’, Jiwoo is currently busy being in the middle of an animated conversation with none other than Jungeun over some show that Sooyoung has never seen or heard about in her life.

Sure, the way Jiwoo waves her hands around when she gets excited is cute, but not as cute as her face scrunching up when she complains about something, and how she grins so brightly it gives the sun a run for its money, and when she laughs, her eyes arch in half-moons and–

Sooyoung blinks, realising she’s been staring at Jiwoo for the past fifteen minutes. She had opted to keep her head on Jiwoo’s lap so she could feed her, but Jiwoo seems to have forgotten that there’s a hungry Sooyoung beneath her.

“…she _insists_ she bought _both_ of them a pair!”

“Jungeun, you’re only defending her because she’s pretty, but she’s a _snake_!...”

Sooyoung doesn’t know what the hell they’re talking about so intensely, but she finally rolls off Jiwoo’s lap when she sees her feed Jungeun a chip.

_Alright, Ha Sooyoung, enough of this, that chip was supposed to be for you!!!_

Sooyoung sits up with a long, exaggerated sigh, but Jiwoo still doesn’t pay her any mind. This is getting ridiculous. And it’s ridiculous how ridiculous Sooyoung feels. What is she even doing here? She feels completely invisible. Alone, her and Jiwoo are just fine. Jungeun shows up and suddenly Sooyoung doesn’t exist.

The thought of it pulls at her heartstrings _way_ more than she wants it too.

Her eyes scan around for something else to distract her; Chaewon’s motionless on the ground, possibly sleeping, possibly dead, and Heejin and Hyunjin are nowhere to be found, having excused themselves for a walk a few minutes prior.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” Sooyoung murmurs, “Jiwoo?”

“Maybe if they never called each other old hags, this wouldn’t ha-“ At the call of her name, Jiwoo suddenly stops talking and turns her attention to Sooyoung. “Hm?”

“Come with me?”

“Where?”

“The bathroom…?”

Jiwoo blinks at her. “Why?”

Sooyoung just blinks back and sees Jungeun looking at her too like she just asked some absurd question. “I dunno, I just want some company, I guess?”

Jiwoo cracks a smile, seemingly amused at something. “You don’t need a babysitter to go the bathroom.”

Sooyoung’s shoulders drop. That is _so_ not what she meant.

“Go with Chae,” Jiwoo chirps, “I’m in the middle of a very important discussion!”

Sooyoung just stares at her for an agonizing few seconds, waiting for a ‘ _sike’_ , or a ‘ _just kidding_ , _sure, Sooyoung, I’ll go with you because you’re my lovely girlfriend and girlfriends accompany each other to the bathroom’_. But it never comes and Jiwoo doesn’t even wait to see her off before turning back to Jungeun and returning to whatever stupid conversation they were in the middle of.

“So, as I was saying, this wouldn’t have happened if they never called each other old hags in the first place…”

_Ha Sooyoung…you may not be on a roll after all._

She scoffs slightly, biting her tongue to keep down a muttered ‘whatever’ as she crawls over to Chaewon, currently lying on her back with a hand over her eyes. Sooyoung yanks her earphones out before pulling her up.

“ _Hey_ –! What are you doing?” Chaewon shrieks as Sooyoung hauls her ass off the blanket and drags her off like she’s a sack of rice. At least it’s confirmed she’s _not_ dead.

“We’re going to the bathroom,” Sooyoung says, finally loosening her grip on Chaewon’s sleeve once they get far enough away from Jiwoo and Jungeun talking each other’s ears off.

“I already pee’d like fifteen minutes ago.” Chaewon’s whiny, but keeps pace with Sooyoung anyway.

“Well, I need company.”

“Well, take Jiwoo instead!”

“ _Well,_ she didn’t want to come.”

This has Chaewon jolting to a stop, but just as she was about to do a 180 and stomp back, Sooyoung stops her from going any further.

“We can’t leave them alone!” Chaewon protests.

“Chae, it’s fine,” Sooyoung says, “they’re just talking. Just come with me.”

With her eyes, Sooyoung begs for her to concede. She’s not in the mood to face Jiwoo and Jungeun again and Chaewon’s been doing such a good job of holding herself back from insulting Jungeun to her face, it’d be a shame to see her composure fall apart now. If she goes back shouting at the two of them, the whole hangout would turn awkward.

They start to walk in a direction completely opposite of the washroom. It turns into a casual stroll and truthfully, Sooyoung’s just grateful to have gotten away. She was starting to feel too much like a third wheel even though _she’s_ supposed to be the girlfriend.

She wishes Jiwoo could’ve at least kept her promise of sparing her a few glances. It stings to be snubbed, moreso when Jiwoo doesn’t even realise it.

“This isn’t working.” Sooyoung sighs.

“What do you mean?”

“This whole fake dating thing. It’s a total blunder.”

Chaewon cocks her head. “I don’t get it. You guys are believable, Jungeun is totally convinced.”

Sooyoung shrugs. “No, I know. It’s working in _that_ aspect. I think. But in every other aspect, things aren’t looking so good.”

She hasn’t forgotten about their objectives. The most obvious reason they’re doing this is to cover up Jiwoo’s lie, but the underlying goal of helping her _move on_ seems to be astronomically way off course.

And the more she gets to know Jiwoo and spend time with her, the less Sooyoung is seeing this as some odd job for extra money and more about actually helping the girl.

“She hasn’t moved on at all,” Sooyoung says, running a hand through her hair, “she’s still head over heels for Jungeun. It’s so obvious, Chae, can’t you see it? And it’s…I dunno, frustrating? I just want to help her.”

When Chaewon narrows her eyes at her suspiciously, Sooyoung quirks an eyebrow.

“What are you looking at?”

“Are you into her?”

Chaewon’s sudden question prompts Sooyoung to widen her eyes as she immediately goes on defence mode. 

“What makes you think that?” Sooyoung asks carefully.

_Oh shit, Ha Sooyoung, are you?_

“Because…my senses tell me there’s a little green-eyed monster trying to claw out of its cage _deep_ within you,” Chaewon says, poking Sooyoung in the stomach.

Sooyoung’s a bit weirded out by Chaewon’s bizarre attempt at euphemising the elephant in the room, but she knows that was just Chaewonese for ‘ _I feel like you’re getting jealous_ ’.

And truthfully, that’s probably what it is.  

“Um…really?” is all Sooyoung can really say because she’s never confronted her budding feelings before and she’s still not even sure whether they’re _actual_ feelings or just manufactured ones from fake dating someone.   

The thought of her seriously falling for Jiwoo has never actually occurred to her.

Chaewon seems confused too, now. “Are you not…?”

“I don’t know…”

“Uh, this is a yes or a no question. Haven’t you had a crush before? How did that feel? Does it feel the same?”

Sooyoung pauses to think about Jiwoo. She comes to mind far too easily, her sunshine smile immediately filling Sooyoung’s thoughts.

_Wait. Waaaaait._

Okay, yeah, Jiwoo’s pretty cute and Sooyoung has dated girls like her before. Yeah, she’s nice, even when she’s less obvious about it – but the subtle acts of kindness are arguably more heartwarming. Yeah, she’s a lot of fun to be around and Sooyoung’s never dreaded spending time with her.

Yeah, their kiss in Sooyoung’s car flashes in her head sometimes. It feels like it happened ages ago and it was so brief, so transient that it’s practically insignificant,

 _Everyone probably forgot it happened, to be honest, maybe that scene didn’t have a lot of impact_ –

–but Sooyoung has not forgotten about it.

Chaewon must’ve suspected something from her face because she starts to knowingly smile, and it looks almost mischievous.

“Oh my gosh, you’ve totally got _some_ kind of feelings for her. I know it when I see it, trust me. You have the same look on your face as Hyunjin did when I asked her if she liked Heejin and she told me she did the very next day! See, I have an eye for this stuff,” Chaewon says before her smile suddenly morphs into an ‘o’ and a hand flies up to cover her mouth, “oh, I don’t think I was supposed to tell you that…”  

But Sooyoung’s far too busy sorting out her suddenly-abuzz feelings to care about Chaewon spilling some friend circle secret.

_Ha Sooyoung, are you seriously falling for the girl you’re fake dating? This sounds a lot like a fanfiction._

“You should go for it.”

That has Sooyoung snapping out of her thoughts. “What?”

“I said if you’re interested, go for it. You should make your move while she’s still a free agent.”

Sooyoung narrows her eyes. “Okay, so _say_ I like her… _if_ I like her… _hypothetically_ …even _if_ I did,” she stresses the uncertainty, though Chaewon remains unconvinced, “she has Jungeun-coloured glasses on.”

“…So?”

“ _Sooo_ …all she can see is Jungeun? How do I even go about it if I can’t even keep her attention for three seconds unless I’m dying of an allergic reaction…”

Suddenly, Chaewon bursts out laughing. “Wait, don’t tell me you’re actually _lacking confidence_?!” and just as suddenly, her face does a 180 as she puts on her serious face, “who are you and what have you done to the Ha Sooyoung I know?”

Sooyoung sighs, lightly shoving Chaewon on the shoulder. “Stop! I just…don’t want to overstep boundaries and get fired for the twentieth time,” she reasons, “also, have you seen Jungeun? The girl’s kind of a looker. If I was Jiwoo, I’d be pretty hardpressed to pick between two insanely hot girls.”

Chaewon just rolls her eyes. “ _I get it_ , you love yourself. Narcissism is a façade for deep insecurities, but we can talk about that on another day. _Point is_ ,” Chaewon says pointedly, rendering Sooyoung speechless, “just work your magic. Can’t you _un_ straight any girl you want? If you’re gonna pounce, do it now!”

She starts waving her hands around as if she was a magician about to pull a rabbit out of somewhere. Chaewon looks as ridiculous as she sounds.

“…Seriously?”

Chaewon pauses her jazz fingers to roll her eyes. “Yes! If this was a normal job, it’d be like the equivalent of getting a raise.”

“I’m _literally_ getting paid. The equivalent of a raise here is still a raise...”

“Then it’d be like the equivalent of getting promoted…? Whatever! It doesn’t matter! If you succeed, you get your girl, Jiwoo moves on, and Heejin, Hyunjin, and I celebrate a victory because we all like you. Everyone’s happy! Except Jungeun, maybe. But we don’t care.”

Sooyooung narrows her eyes. “Okay, now this is starting to sound like it’s just for _your_ revenge story.”

Chaewon blinks before shaking her head in dismissal. “No, _no,_ it’s not, this is no one’s revenge story. I’m sorry, this isn’t about me. That’s _not_ my point,” she rambles, “what I mean to say is, don’t deny your feelings. Don’t hold back.”

Sooyoung hums. “Wait, Park Chaewon telling _me_ not to hold back?”

The corner of her lip quirks into a slight smirk. She really should make an effort to control her impulsivity, but if Chaewon’s encouraging it, then…

“I’m not telling you to be impulsive! I’m just… _ugh_ , nevermind, you know what? As long as you’re not locking kids in bathrooms, then it’s fine with me.”

“I can’t promise you that,” Sooyoung says with a grin.

Chaewon sighs. “I’m just saying, sort out your feelings and then do something about it.”

For someone who doesn’t look like they could give decent advice, Chaewon gives pretty decent advice. Sooyoung _does_ want to sort out her feelings; they’re there, whether she wants to admit it or not, somewhere in the morass of her thoughts. Sure, she's chased after girls before, but only when she knew she had an actual chance with them. That, or she had liquid courage surging through her bloodstream – but the relationships that stemmed out of these chases never lasted.

If she’s to do this, she wants to do it with clear-cut intentions and no half-assed feelings. Sober and sensible. She wants to go at it carefully. Because careless Sooyoung doesn’t exactly have the cleanest track record.

She doesn’t want a repeat performance of her previous failures. No more mistakes, no playing dirty. No kids wildly running through aisles in wolf masks; no locking such kids in the bathroom. No kids smoking weed in the bathroom; no throwing dirty mop water at such kids’ faces.

It’s just her, Jiwoo, and some feelings to untangle. How hard can that be?

_Ha Sooyoung. You can do it, right?_

Of course, she can. Ha Sooyoung has never been one to shy away from challenges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jiwoo testing everyone’s patience...(please bear with it, guys lol ;_;)
> 
> i have finals starting in 2 weeks so this fic’s weekly(ish) update schedule will pause  
> wish me luck on my finals, i’ll see you guys soon! :) alive, hopefully  
> p.s. if anyone can guess what show chuulip were intensely discussing, i will give you...ummm...a smooch :*


	6. fine print is designed to screw you over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i'm back, alive (thanks to all your well wishes) and fresh off finals. spent yesterday making deals with the devil to ensure i did decent enough to pass. here’s a nice long chapter to make up for my absence! 
> 
> on this installment of cmiys: sooyoung realises what happens when you make deals with the devil without reading the fine print

It’s always been considered sage advice to read the fine print.

Of course, no one ever does because who has the energy to read a daunting wall of tiny text, easier to just trust there’s nothing sketchy in there and scribble on the signature line. And of course, they usually end up being screwed over.

Sooyoung _never_ reads the fine print. Unsurprisingly, she’s as oblivious to them as Jiwoo probably is when they both let themselves be cajoled into this scheme and signed the imaginary contract finalising their status as ‘Official’ Girlfriends.

She’s coming to realise that those unforeseen, meandering disclaimers and word-vomit clauses in the fine print of Fake Dating are sneaking in to surprise her much sooner than she expected.

Fake dating Jiwoo: a fun side job no different from any other part-time work? Oh, Sooyoung really _thought_ , huh...

 

* * *

 

An abrupt cancellation of the dance club’s summer orientation meeting has Sooyoung aimlessly wandering the halls of the performing arts building.

She’s lost in her usual thoughts lately: self-reminders to buy more Salonpas, Jiwoo, organizing guest instructor workshops, Jiwoo, choreographing new lesson routines, her feelings for Jiwoo, intramural dance expo, Jiwoo, watering the plants, Jiwoo…

_(Clause 6U: The cosigning party will encroach on even the most inaccessible crevices of your mind and subsequently annex all your thoughts. This is the beginning of Phase 2.)_

Music travels through the walls as she listens to choruses sing over orchestraic pieces coming from elsewhere in the corridor. She often wandered these halls whenever she felt stressed or sentimental.

Entering the wing of individual practice rooms, a sweet melody piques her curiosity immediately. Sooyoung was used to hearing intense, polyphonic Beethoven pieces, classicals with elaborate trills, or the occasional dissonant tunes of modern pieces. The usual music students doing music things.

But this melody floating through the air isn’t like the usual; it’s not as technical, doesn’t sound like the pianist is playing as if their life depends on it, fingers smashing onto keys in a frenetic rendition of _‘I have an exam in three hours and if I don’t perfect this in time, I’ll set this piano on fire.’_

So Sooyoung follows the inviting tune. Her ears take her to the furthest room at the end of the hallway, its door open a crack. She pokes her head in and, much to her (most pleasant) surprise, finds familiar dark auburn hair hunched over the keys of a grand piano.

Sooyoung can’t believe her luck.

She quietly slips into the room just as Jiwoo softly plays a finishing chord. It’s only silent for a second.

“Play another one.”

Jiwoo jumps at her soft voice, head turning around so fast it could give her whiplash.

“Oh my god, Sooyoung, you scared me!” she says, looking slightly frazzled as she brings a hand to her chest. She gets up from the bench.  

“Wait, you’re leaving? I wanted to hear you play,” Sooyoung says as she walks over, leaning over the piano to rest her chin on her palm. She gives Jiwoo an encouraging smile.

Jiwoo hesitates in her movements, but she doesn’t seem like she wants to leave either.

So she sits back down, barks out a little cough to clear her throat and ease her nerves, and lets her hands do the magic.

And seriously, it _is_ magic. To Sooyoung, at least, who knows jack shit about music, but has heard hundreds of melodies in all the time she has spent wandering these hallways. Sure, whatever Jiwoo’s playing isn’t as advanced as some upper year concerto piece, but it’s _magical_ in its own right.

Or maybe Sooyoung just admires anything and everything Jiwoo does.

Jiwoo moves through the music effortlessly, immersed in a memorised piece. Somewhere along the way, Sooyoung’s gaze goes from the keys, to Jiwoo’s fingers dancing over them, and finally to Jiwoo’s face, where it lingers.

She doesn’t even realise herself staring until Jiwoo catches her gaze and messes up a key, the sudden discordant note abruptly cutting the piece short.

“Ah-“ Jiwoo mutters shyly, staring down at her fingers. “You distracted me…”

“Sorry, I didn't mean to,” Sooyoung says, “...do you have a habit of chewing on your lip when you’re concentrating? You’re going to accidentally cut yourself one day.” It’s an innocent observation, one she finds endearing, but it gave Sooyoung an excuse to look at Jiwoo’s lips while she played.

“I know…” Judging by the way Jiwoo’s murmured answer comes out automatically, it seems like it’s not the first time someone has pointed it out. She suddenly gets up, as if she was reminded of something unwanted, and grabs Sooyoung’s hand. “Let’s go somewhere else.”

The sudden proposition brings Sooyoung down from whatever cloud she had been floating on.

“But I still want to listen to you play,” she says, watching Jiwoo make a beeline for her backpack. “You’re really good.”

“I’ll play for you another day,” Jiwoo tells her, but Sooyoung feels like it’s probably another empty promise.

She sees the opportunity to ask Jiwoo something she's been thinking about a lot lately, the more Jiwoo floated into her thoughts: “Will you ever tell me why you stopped playing?”

Jiwoo looks at her for a moment before turning away, busying herself with the straps of her bag. “I told you, I had no time.”

“As if I’d believe that,” Sooyoung softly sighs, “I wish you’d just tell me what you’re really thinking sometimes. You don’t have to hide anything from me…unless you want to keep this strictly business and cancel the whole friendship thing.”

On second thought, Sooyoung’s hope to become _real_ friends with her might’ve been too zealous.

_(Clause 3K: Development of a legitimate camaraderie, absent of any romantic intentions, between the participating parties is optional and nonobligatory.)_

Jiwoo shakes her head, shuffling her feet. “No, no, of course not. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to keep things from you…it’s just that…” Her words taper away in hesitation. 

“Confessions are hard?” Sooyoung finishes her sentence for her. The fine print of this revelation? Simple: Jiwoo finds it difficult to say what she genuinely feels, repressing her thoughts and opinions with a smiley face bottle cap.

Sooyoung walks over to Jiwoo and meets her with a tilted head. “I understand. How about this…if I tell you a confession, any confession, tell me a similar one in exchange.”

She’s going to get something out of her, no matter what. The sudden proposal for a confession trade-off surprises Jiwoo, but she gives a subtle shrug and looks up at Sooyoung expectantly. She must be curious about her, too. All this time they’ve spent together and there’s still so much they don’t know about each other.

“Okay, let’s see,” Sooyoung purses her lips, leaning her shoulder against the wall. “Once, I accidentally dropped my sister’s toothbrush in the toilet. I just fished it out and acted like nothing happened.”

Jiwoo gasps at her, scandalised. “That’s _so_ gross.”

“I was 8,” Sooyoung says, suddenly feeling the need to defend herself when she finds Jiwoo looking at her with gaping eyes.

Jiwoo’s wide eyes curve into crescents when she starts giggling. She directs her gaze to the ceiling. “Now I have to tell you a similar one? Hmm…okay, I also dropped something in the toilet when I was little. My dad’s keys. On purpose. No reason, aside from me just being a dumb kid.”

Sooyoung’s laughter comes out effortlessly. “Hey, keys would sink! Did you flush it down!?”

“I was about to!” Jiwoo exclaims with a grin, “but I got caught. Thank goodness.”

The thought of toddler Jiwoo being caught red-handed at the toilet has Sooyoung laughing again.

“My turn,” Sooyoung says once she could control her chuckles, “I’ve never told anyone this because it’s embarrassing, but when I was a freshman, I once got drunk on a few vodka coolers and-“

“ _Coolers_?” Jiwoo bites her lip to tame her amused smile.

“Shut up, I was a lightweight…” Sooyoung answers sheepishly, “but _anyway_ , I showed up at a girl’s dorm room. Like, knocked on her door at 2AM.”

Eyebrows fly up in surprise. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I wanted to see her again,” Sooyoung says plainly with a slight shrug, speaking reminiscently of the memory, “drunkenly told her I missed her.”

Looking over at Jiwoo, she finds the girl returning her look with a curious one, completely absorbed in her words like a child during story time. “And?”

“And she told me to go home and closed the door on my face.”

Ah. Sooyoung getting snubbed at 2AM by a Tinder hook-up. Good times. She missed the fine print there: a blind, reckless pursuit after a one-night stand is destined to crash and burn.

“Ouch,” Jiwoo frowns, “I’m sorry.”

Sooyoung chuckles. “What for?”

“I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“It’s okay. At least I learned how to improve my sad alcohol tolerance and _not_ drink at 2AM in the morning while thinking about someone.” The incident was one of her impulsive actions, albeit a drunk one, but it least had a takeaway. See? Useful lessons can come out of impulsivity! “It’s your turn.”

Jiwoo goes back to staring at the ceiling, thinking for a bit until her gaze floats over to the piano.

“Sometimes I come here to play by myself when no one’s around.”

“Why do you that?” Sooyoung asks, echoing the same question Jiwoo had for her.

And Jiwoo parrots back an answer like the one Sooyoung gave her. “Because I miss playing.”

A confession in exchange for a similar one – they both sought to remedy the absence of something fulfilling; music in Jiwoo’s case, desire in Sooyoung’s.

And this is the confession Sooyoung has been looking for. “Then why’d you stop?”

Jiwoo looks at her hesitantly, but Sooyoung’s gaze on her is patient and understanding.

“Because,” Jiwoo starts quietly, “the main reason I played was because Jungeun liked to watch me. But after she left, I didn’t feel like playing anymore. It started feeling…pointless? Almost.” She sighs, “which is stupid because I _like_ to play piano, but she was always there watching me and suddenly she wasn’t anymore and…sorry, this probably sounds so lame...”

Sooyoung shakes her head. “No, I get it,” she says, “you felt like you had no one to play for anymore.”

It isn’t fair. Sooyoung can tell Jiwoo clearly loves to play and she shouldn’t have to stop just because of a breakup. It’s just not fair at all how much her ex has deprived her of things. And it’s probably not right to blame Jungeun if she doesn’t know, but it’s just so easy to do so when Jiwoo’s in front of her, looking this sad.  

And Sooyoung thinks it’s not fair for Jiwoo to feel like she’s been stripped of things; of playing piano, of feeling happy, of getting closure, of getting the chance to move on. She shouldn’t feel like she can’t do any of these things because she _can_ and Sooyoung’s supposed to help her realise it. Pull her out of the whirlpool and all.

_(Clause 19T: Allocation of emotional support must be provided with solicitude at your own discretion, if the situation warrants it.)_

“You should just play for yourself,” Sooyoung suggests, her voice softening, “you enjoy it, don’t you? Don’t let someone else, or lack of someone else, keep you from doing something you love.”

“You’re right. I guess I never realised that before…” Jiwoo murmurs as her head tilts to the side. “I like having someone to play for, though. It makes it more enjoyable.”

Sooyoung smiles. “What about me?”

Jiwoo’s eyes turn to her with a flutter of her eyelids. She's got a curious, wholesome look on her face that suddenly diminishes all of Sooyoung’s confining misgivings into nothing.

“Play for me,” Sooyoung tells her, “I’ll offer you my ears and attention.”

“Really?”

 _‘Absolutely’_ threatens to leap out of Sooyoung’s mouth, straight from her heart, but Jiwoo suddenly narrows her eyes suspiciously, her teeth peeking from behind her lips in a cheeky grin. “You’d bother showing up to boring recitals and stuff?”

“Won’t be boring if you’re playing,” Sooyoung hums. “Besides, it’d be girlfriend duty.”

She wouldn’t mind at all listening to Jiwoo’s fingers flitting over keys for hours on end. She could fall asleep to it and she’d wish to wake up to it, a lulling melody playing in her head as the image of Jiwoo in front of a piano paints her last thoughts of the night and her first thoughts of the morning.

She’d spend all day thinking about it. And she probably will, starting today.

“I’d even show up in an ‘I heart Kim Jiwoo’ shirt but instead of a heart, it’s your face with your cheeks puffed out.” Sooyoung pokes her on the cheek. “Would that be allowed? I don’t know, I’ve never been to a piano recital.”

Jiwoo breaks into a loud laugh, her mouth impossibly wide, and it’s a prettier sound than any piece Sooyoung has ever heard in these hallways.

“That’d be so embarrassing!”

“Hey, more so for me than you! But I don’t mind. I’ll wear it proudly, like your most loyal cheerleader.”

With all her teeth in full display, the liveliness just bursts out of Jiwoo, brighter than the fluorescent lights above them. How could anyone keep themselves from smiling if this ball of joy was right in front of them? Sooyoung beams.

“That’s really sweet of you,” Jiwoo says sincerely.   

No doubt, happy Jiwoo is her absolute favourite Jiwoo.

“Is that a yes, you’ll play for me?”

Jiwoo smiles at her. “Sure, okay. You can be like my muse,” she replies thoughtfully, “if you prepare a full cheerleading routine, pom-poms and all.”

Sooyoung rolls her eyes to the sound of Jiwoo’s endlessly amused giggles. “You just want to see me in a short skirt.”

The younger girl gasps, lightly shoving her on the shoulder. “Not true! Wow, okay, I’m changing it to a _full mascot_. You would look so silly showing up at the recital, it’d be so funny.”

It’s Sooyoung who shoves her on the shoulder this time.

Oh, if only Jiwoo knew that Sooyoung wouldn’t hesitate to make a fool out of herself if it means getting to see that brilliant smile over and over again.

 

* * *

 

_(Clause 9C: Progressing with Phase 3, you may find yourself engaging in an emotionally-driven provision of services outside the periphery of the relationship agreement, with no incentive besides self-fulfillment and budding feelings.)_

As a typical hard worker, Sooyoung likes to put her all into everything she does, willing to do something repeatedly until she gets the result she’s looking for. The pain relief patches all over her body are a testament to that, and so is the third plate of omelette she shoves aside.

Her mom would literally kill her if she were to find out just how wasteful Sooyoung is being right now. She’s so occupied with perfecting this omelette that she no longer winces every time she cracks an egg. Making ruthless sacrifices (like perfectly good eggs!) is a vice she has yet to fix.

But she had promised Jiwoo that her rolled omelettes will be the best she’s ever tasted.

That was an impulsive promise, of course (is it even surprising at this point?), put forward because her confidence had gotten the best of her.

Sooyoung pushes the plate (her fourth omelette of the day) towards the two girls sitting across the counter.

Hyunjin groans, sick of eating omelettes, but Heejin forces chopsticks into her hands.

“Heejin, isn’t this power harassment or something?”

Sooyoung narrows her eyes. “What are you talking about?”

“I just came here to pick up Heejin from her dance club meeting, but you’re keeping her back as your omelette taster and she can’t say no because she’s your junior and now _I’m_ stuck here being an omelette taster too,” Hyunjin complains, grimacing at the piece of omelette Heejin offers her. She eats it anyway.

“Honest thoughts?” Sooyoung asks, eyeing both of them hopefully as they chew on a mouthful of omelette.

“It’s spectacular,” Heejin exclaims. There’s fine print to that too: while it may sound like a winning compliment, she’s already used it for the previous three omelettes, so it already lost its merit by the second time around.

“Yeah, spectacularly _mediocre_. They’ve all tasted the same.”

Sooyoung rolls her eyes at Hyunjin’s honest review of her spectacularly mediocre omelette, even though she asked for it. She takes their plate and pushes it aside. “Fine. Fifth time’s the charm, I guess.”

Hyunjin groans for the fourth time in the past hour or so, dropping her head on the counter with a resounding _thump_. “Heejin, please stop her.”

“Heejin, it’ll be the last one, I promise,” Sooyoung says, already getting ready to crack the bazillionth egg.

The girl at the centre of the tug of war looks visibly conflicted, eyes going back and forth between the two.

“Heejin, I was going to take you out for lunch, you know? I even had a reservation. But now we’re full from these twenty million omelettes.” Hyunjin pouts.

That appeared to be the winning tug because a deep remorseful frown begins to pull on Heejin’s pretty features. She turns to the older girl. “Sooyoung, your omelette tastes _fine_ , I promise.”

“Fine isn’t enough, it has to be the _best_!” Sooyoung says, passionately whisking eggs in the bowl like her life depends on it.

There’s something glaringly obvious about her determination to make the best rolled omelettes of her life for Jiwoo, but Sooyoung has half the mind to think about it any deeper.

(The fine print: …nevermind, it’s obvious, isn't it?)

“You don’t look like the type who can cook a mean plate of rolled omelette anyway, I doubt Jiwoo has much of an expectation,” Hyunjin quips absentmindedly and Sooyoung has an inkling feeling that the girl is _fully_ aware of her comments’ insulting undertones.

Was this really the same girl who raved about her all those weeks ago, calling her a godly-woman-hotter-than-the-sun-and-has-descended-upon-us-like-a-guardian-angel? Sooyoung finds it hard to believe.

She glares at Hyunjin, feeling slightly betrayed. “You used to think I was _cool_.” (That's probably something  _actual_ cool people would never say.)

Hyunjin thinks for a moment. “Well, you _do_ seem kind of cool slaving away in this kitchen for Jiwoo,” she says and Sooyoung’s passionate whisking wavers a bit, “but the coolness is cancelled out by the mediocrity of your boring omelettes.”

Sooyoung's jaw drops open, as if someone just called her mother ugly. “Wow, that is _so_ unfair. And that doesn’t even make sense!”

“Yes it does, it’s _algebra-_ ”  

Heejin interrupts their childish back-and-forth – something she’s used to, considering the personalities in her friend group and the ridiculous things they talk about daily. “Jiwoo will like whatever you make!” she tries to add helpfully before Sooyoung could crack an egg on Hyunjin’s scalp.

Sooyoung shakes her head. “It’s her favourite, she’s going to Gordon Ramsay the hell out of me.”

“No, Jiwoo is too nice for that.”

“Maybe to you guys. She teases me at every opportunity...”

Hyunjin suddenly leans in, resting her elbows on the counter. “Hey, you know she only teases girls she likes?”

That makes Sooyoung completely freeze in the middle of whisking as she looks at Hyunjin, eyes wide open in sudden interest. “…Really?”

Hyunjin nods her head with a hum. She gauges the older girl’s reaction for a few seconds and Sooyoung has no idea _what_ she has possibly inferred from it, but Hyunjin suddenly turns smug and nudges Heejin.

“See, Heejin, I told you. You owe me twenty thousand won.”

Heejin's eyes narrow in slight suspicion at Hyunjin’s conclusion as Sooyoung’s eyes flitter between the two of them, guileless blinks displaying her confusion.

“Told her what?” Sooyoung asks tentatively.

“That you have a thing for Jiwoo.”

Sooyoung just stares at them in the most drawn out three seconds of their lives.

“…No, I don’t,” she counters belatedly (and weakly) in defence, “I mean, there’s _potential_ , but- nevermind, you seriously bet on this?!”

Damn, these kids are intuitive. First, Chaewon and now these two? Can they read her mind? Is Sooyoung’s fine print actually ginormous print?  

Does Jiwoo suspect it too?

Hyunjin shrugs. “For someone who looks all cool and standoffish, you’re kind of transparent sometimes.”

“ _How_?”

“Um, I dunno…? You seem too eager to impress and…you’re all flirty with her or whatever,” Hyunjin explains apprehensively, clearly not expecting such interrogation.

“That’s because I’m supposed to act like her girlfriend.”

Heejin interjects this time, sharply nudging Hyunjin, “ _I told you_. She acts that way around all cute girls like Jiwoo, it doesn’t always mean anything.”

Speak of the devil, the door to the dance wing’s communal kitchen swiftly slides open and Jiwoo’s dazzling grin from the door lights up the entire room.

Sooyoung's eyes go wide. What _on earth_ is ~~the light of her life~~ Jiwoo doing here? 

“Hey friends! Hyunjin told me there was free food here so I came running,” Jiwoo skips into the room just as Sooyoung shoots Hyunjin a pointed glare.

(“When did you snitch?” Sooyoung furiously whispers.

“On the second roll of your fourth omelette.”

“Goddamnit, Hyunjin.”)

“Jiwoo! Perfect timing, Heejin and I were just leaving. Look, Sooyoung made you your favourite,” Hyunjin greets before lowering her voice to a whisper that Sooyoung overhears anyway, “it’s her fourth attempt.”

Heejin lets herself get dragged out without much resistance, waving rushed goodbyes to the two of them. Sooyoung wishes she could floor it and chase after Hyunjin to tackle her, but she finds her feet planted to the floor and her entire body frozen over as Jiwoo looks at her expectantly.

“You’re making me rolled omelettes?”

There’s a distinct twinkle in Jiwoo’s eyes that sets off all sorts of lovely, tender illuminations inside Sooyoung and the sincere smile she can’t hold back offsets the nervous chuckle that slips from her lips.

“Well, I did say I would.”

Jiwoo squeaks in excitement as she plops onto a seat and pulls the fourth plate of omelette towards her.

_No, Jiwoo, not the spectacularly mediocre one!_

Sooyoung stops her, pulling the plate back to her. “Wait, I’ll make you a new one.”

She looks down at her sad bowl of chopped veggies swimming in forgotten whisked eggs. Her impulsivity kicks into high gear as she lets the voice in her head take charge, practically demanding her to trash the bowl and crack new eggs. Her hands almost act on their own.

But just before she could reach for the almost empty carton of dozen eggs, warm fingers wrap around her wrist tightly and the action makes Sooyoung stop.

“What’s wrong with the one you already mixed up?” Jiwoo asks her innocently, glancing at the bowl Sooyoung had shoved aside. “Cook that one and in the meantime, I’ll eat this one. It’d be a shame to throw it away.”

Sooyoung’s too focused on Jiwoo’s hand around her wrist though, too busy debating whether she should smoothly turn it into a hand hold or not, but Jiwoo lets go before she could decide on something.

With bated breath, she watches Jiwoo pick up a piece with a pair of chopsticks. The whole thing feels like a confusing mix of a slow-motion scene from a B-list action flick and a dragged-out verdict scene on MasterChef.

Sooyoung seriously has never felt this nervous in her entire life and it’s so _trivial_ because it’s just Jiwoo tasting her rolled omelette, but she wants to impress the girl so bad and Sooyoung can’t even begin to think of how embarrassed she’d feel if she falls short.

“Mmmmmm.”

Unexpectedly, Jiwoo digs in like Augustus Gloop at Wonka’s chocolate factory. Sooyoung’s brain fails to compute how deliciously she’s eating because Hyunjin was just mumbling about how mediocre it tasted a few minutes ago.

Maybe Jiwoo’s just being nice.

“You…like it?” Sooyoung dumbly asks.

Jiwoo’s mouth is too full to really say anything, but she gives Sooyoung an enthusiastic nod.

As much as Sooyoung would love to relish in this apparent success and give herself a much-needed pat on the back, she doesn’t really feel shameless enough to congratulate herself if she knows Jiwoo’s just saying what she wants to hear out of pity (Hyunjin did tell her this was her _fourth_ attempt…).

In other words, she wants to read the fine print (for once!) beneath Jiwoo’s unexpected response.

After hearing a garbled _‘I love it!_ ’ from the munching girl in front of her, Sooyoung can’t help but narrow her eyes in suspicion. “…Actually?”

Jiwoo abruptly stops chewing as her eyebrows knit in the middle in confusion. No one’s probably doubted her positive food reviews before.

She resumes her chewing as she brings a finger to her chin in thought, swallowing with a satisfied nod. “It’s soft and not too salty. Some people may like it a little browner, but this,” she pokes at a piece before shoving it in her mouth, “this one’s just perfect!”

Sooyoung still feels doubtful though, even if Jiwoo does sound pretty sure and convincing.

Sensing Sooyoung’s reservations, Jiwoo rests her arms on the counter and puts on that cute teasing expression of hers that makes Sooyoung want to drop everything just to squeeze her cheeks.

“You don’t believe me?”

“Heejin and Hyunjin didn’t seem to enjoy it as much.”

“Heejin and Hyunjin’s favourite food isn’t rolled omelette,” Jiwoo counters matter-of-factly. Sooyoung gives her a slight shrug and that’s when Jiwoo picks up a piece and offers it her. “Say ah.”

Sooyoung’s eyes trail from the piece of omelette in front of her mouth, up the outstretched arm holding the chopsticks, and finally to the sweetly smiling girl at the end of it, prodding her with such inviting cuteness.

Sooyoung clasps Jiwoo’s hand with her own to keep the chopsticks steady (really, it’s just an excuse to touch her) and eats the piece of omelette.

The verdict: alright, it’s not _bad._ In fact, Sooyoung can’t decide whether it’s spectacularly amazing or spectacularly mediocre. Based on taste alone, it’s no different from any other omelette she’s eaten. In this aspect, it’s the epitome of spectacular mediocrity.

But why is it also spectacularly amazing? She reasons it’s only because of the girl feeding it to her. Sooyoung widely opens her mouth again.

Jiwoo giggles. “See? I told you it’s good! You want another one?”

They sit there, leaning over the counter as they feed each other and share a plate of spectacularly mediocre rolled omelette. They’re a tad bit closer than they have to be, but Sooyoung doesn’t notice.

All she’s aware of is the shimmer in Jiwoo’s eyes as she talks about her day with her mouth full, how readily she feeds Sooyoung another piece whenever she opens her mouth, every soft chuckle that falls from her lips and every scrunch of her nose.

All she can see is Jiwoo.

 

* * *

 

What was that about Sooyoung liking Jiwoo? That there’s _potential_?

Confession hour:

There isn’t a single day that passes without Sooyoung entertaining the thought. How often Jiwoo comes to mind speaks louder volumes than what she’d admit out loud. But Sooyoung feels held back.

Maybe it’s the shame of knowing that if she and Jungeun were hanging off a cliff and Jiwoo could only save one, Sooyoung’s sad, mangled body would still be found at the bottom, broken bones caging a broken heart.

Alright, maybe that’s a grossly extreme and violent hypothetical situation, but the point is, Sooyoung’s had her fair share of unrequited crushes and just because she’s experienced it before, doesn’t mean it hurts any less every time. It’s only natural to _want_ to avoid it.

But she’s not quite ready to give up with Jiwoo just yet. She wants to let things play out. Even if she wants to go ghost, she _can’t_. Like literally, contractually can’t because her current job is to be the fake girlfriend and Sooyoung wants to prove to herself that she _can_ keep a job for once.

(It’s not even in the fine print! She agreed to do this _all_ the way!)

So she’s going to see this to the end of the summer, with unrequited feelings or not. Maybe if Jiwoo can stop being so lovely and cute and fun to be around, this wouldn’t be so hard.

 

* * *

 

Oh but of course Jiwoo can’t stop being so lovely and cute and fun to be around because she can’t just stop _existing_.

“God, you are _so_ cute.”

It’s said without much thought, but the way Jiwoo puffed her cheeks when she tried to put a chair on a stack taller than her warranted it. Compliments come out far too easily around her anyway, Sooyoung could probably shower her with them all day.  

“But you probably get that a lot,” says Sooyoung.

Jiwoo blinks at her before letting out a small, flustered chuckle. “What are you talking about…”

“Nothing. You’re just really, really cute. I’ve never met anyone like you.”

She finishes stacking the last of the chairs. It was supposed to be Heejin helping her clean up the practice room after a club meeting, but excuses were made, mischievous grins and knowing winks given (one-sided; Sooyoung had _no_ clue what they meant), and suddenly it’s Jiwoo helping her put away chairs and brochures at 8pm on a Friday night.

Not that there’s any reason to complain, but Sooyoung thinks Jiwoo must have something better to do with her time. She feels guilty for keeping her here.

Was there anything in the fine print that says Jiwoo was obligated to do this? Or maybe it’s in line with Clause 9C? (Control/Command F ‘Clause 9C’).

Heejin insists that Jiwoo didn’t mind doing this for her. So maybe Sooyoung can be hopeful.  

“That has to be a lie,” Jiwoo deadpans almost humorously.

Sooyoung’s rendered speechless for a second. “What, that I’ve never met anyone like you? I mean it!” (read: ‘ _you’re one of a kind’_ ). “And it makes it easier for me to act head over heels for you.” Apparently, it’s still confession hour.

Seeing Jiwoo turn quiet, Sooyoung speaks up again with a teasing smile, “see how naturally compliments are supposed to come out when two people are dating?”

“Oh, I see. You just want to fish for compliments.” Jiwoo narrows her eyes. Maybe she’s right.

Sooyoung blinks at her innocently. “I’m just trying to give you tips on how to make _us_ seem more realistic. You need some, clearly.”

Jiwoo dramatizes her own gasp. “I don’t need _tips_ , I’m doing a fine job of fake dating you.”

“Hm, I don’t know, if I was Jungeun, I’d be suspicious."

“How come?” Jiwoo crosses her arms.

Sooyoung lightly shrugs. “I’m always the one initiating. You have like, _zero_ guts. How can you convince yourself you’ve moved on, much less anyone, if you can’t even reach for my hand first? Or do _anything_ without me having to prompt you, I guess.”

While it’s certainly not difficult to act in love with someone like Jiwoo, it takes two to tango and fake dating is a close-embrace, artful two-step. For once, Sooyoung wants to try being the Follow instead of being the Lead.

Jiwoo responds to her challenging stare with pursed lips of her own, offended by Sooyoung’s honest criticism. And so she acts, marching over to grab Sooyoung’s hand.

She lifts up their intertwined hands and shakes it in the air. “I totally _can_ , see?”

Sooyoung’s puzzled look turns into an amusing one. “Really? You do this with your friends.” Come on Jiwoo, leading takes more effort than that!

Seeing the way Jiwoo narrows her eyes in determination, Sooyoung knows she’s doing a fine job of egging her on. The girl grabs her other hand in a (frankly) pathetic attempt to one-up herself and Sooyoung is not impressed at all.

When Jiwoo promptly drops both of her hands, Sooyoung experiences a momentary feeling of regret, but it’s short-lived because Jiwoo acts fast, wrapping her arms around Sooyoung’s waist and pulling herself in.

It startles Sooyoung at first; her brain takes a whole second to catch up and only then, she belatedly reciprocates.

She’s never thought about it before, but she realises this is the first real hug they’ve ever done. It certainly trumps over their thousand fleeting half-hugs that she’s grown used to.

_(Clause 11S: After Phase 5, unsolicited and authentic exhibitions of affection courtesy of the other party will engender the release of catecholamines. This is a relatively innocuous side-effect of the agreement.)_

Sooyoung wraps her arms around the younger girl, tries not to think about how snuggly Jiwoo fits right in, debating whether she should say something or just let themselves thaw into the silence. It’s comfortable, just standing here. Sooyoung’s hugged many girls in her life, but Jiwoo’s got a different hold, a different scent, and a different feeling.

“See…isn’t this nice?”

Sooyoung’s half expecting some witty reply, but Jiwoo just nods into her shoulders.

She takes the initiative of pulling away first, leaning away just enough to look at Jiwoo in the face, but still keep her in her arms.

Jiwoo’s bold enough to look her in the eyes, considering the rosy tint painting her cheeks. Sooyoung smirks. “You’re blushing.”

The girl's eyes go wide, as if she had never realised it, and hurriedly detaches herself from Sooyoung, taking tiny steps back. Sooyoung’s too amused to be disappointed over it.  

Jiwoo starts busying herself with the chairs again. But Sooyoung isn’t quite done with this yet and after that hug, she feels more adventurous than usual.

"Do you remember when I told you that if you wanted to kiss me, you can?"

The question clearly catches Jiwoo off-guard because she almost drops a chair on her foot, catching it only at the last minute as she shoots Sooyoung a startled look.

Jiwoo coughs and puts the chair down calmly, sporting her best attempt at looking cool and collected. “Yes. Why?”

“Well, that was half advice, half invitation,” Sooyoung says, stepping right in front of Jiwoo, “and I’m kind of disappointed you didn’t catch on _either_ of those. You don’t really pick up on hints well, do you?”

She moves the chair that separates them out of the way and leans in only a little, looking at Jiwoo with narrowed eyes.

“I do!” Jiwoo retorts in offence, “I just- there’s a time and place for everything, I can’t just kiss you randomly, it would, like, make no sense!”

Sooyoung tilts her head. “Wasn’t it you who suggested that we practice holding hands before Jungeun came? Why haven’t we practiced kissing?” (Practicing gestures of affection is certainly no fine print, it'd be like the second paragraph!)

The blush has spread to the tips of Jiwoo’s ears by this point, but she refuses to look away, refuses to back down.

Her words aren’t really helping her case though. “B-because!” she stutters, “I don’t know. Holding hands and kissing are _different_.”

“Not really.”

“It’s not- _ugh-_ you just want to find excuses to kiss me!” Jiwoo crosses her arms.

Oop. Sooyoung raises her eyebrows in surprise because that’s _exactly_ it. “Well- _yeah_ ,” she sheepishly admits, “I mean…I kind of have to. It’s my job. Literally. But you won’t let me. Is it because you don’t want to or you can’t…? It’s fine if you don’t want to, it’s ju-”

“It’s not that I don’t _want_ to- a-and, I _can_ ,” Jiwoo squirms under Sooyoung’s inquisitive gaze, seemingly at a loss for words as she struggles to find answers. “I...I _can_ do it, you know!”

Sooyoung narrows her eyes in suspicion. “You can’t.”

“I can!”

“…Then do it.”

It’s taunting, almost like a dare, and it came out of Sooyoung’s mouth before she really even thought about it. 

Jiwoo’s eyebrows unknit as fast as they fly up. She doesn’t seem to realise that she practically led the conversation to this. “What?”

“If you say you can kiss me, then kiss me.”

Silence hangs in the air, fingers grasping on the edge of the cliff. It’s tense and Sooyoung waits for something to happen, for Jiwoo to do _something_ , anything. To kiss her, or to blush, or maybe to scoff at her face, to push her back, or turn away.

But _alas_ , nothing comes.

Jiwoo just looks at her with a vague expression harder to read than ten pages of fine print. Sooyoung should’ve seen this coming. It was bold of her to expect Jiwoo to be gutsy around her for once. If she can’t do it here, then she can’t _possibly_ do it anywhere else, much less in front of Jungeun, who is really the _only_ person they should be kissing in front of.

The space between her and Jiwoo grows when she straightens her back. “I'm sorry, nevermind, let’s just go back to work and-“

And Sooyoung doesn’t get a chance to finish what she says because Jiwoo cuts her off with a simple gesture.

It doesn’t process immediately, really, because Sooyoung had already thrown in the towel, but in the next second, there were soft hands cradling her face and a pair of even softer eyes staring back at her, inches away.

Her brain short-circuits.

At their new proximity, the determined intensity behind Jiwoo’s eyes diminishes into a smaller, timid flame. That fire must’ve passed on to Sooyoung’s cheeks because her face suddenly feels hot under Jiwoo’s touch.

Jiwoo blinks back at her, seemingly finding this turn of events as unexpected as Sooyoung does, despite being the one who initiated it. In the next second, her gaze drops down to Sooyoung’s lips, and in the second after that, she retracts her hands immediately and stumbles backwards.

“I-“

Sooyoung’s daze is only momentary. “…Good. Uh. That was good. That’s…that’s how you do it. Yeah,” she coughs, trying to get her confidence level back up, “good start. Um, next time, you just gotta…I guess, _go_ for it and-“

And again, she doesn’t get to finish what she says because this time, Jiwoo _goes_ for it. Steals her words with a kiss.

Her brain short-circuits. Again.

And in the second after that, Jiwoo’s lips start moving against hers steadily, as if she isn’t really sure of what she’s doing or if she’s doing it right, but Sooyoung moves with her just as slowly.

They kiss at an unhurried, almost dreamy, pace. One of her hands instinctively grabs on to Jiwoo’s waist.

They part at what Sooyoung thinks is just the right moment. It’s weird, how natural everything is. Sooyoung’s not the mawkish type, but she feels like she’s dreaming.

They’re still close enough that Jiwoo’s breath runs across Sooyoung’s lips when she speaks.

“See…" Jiwoo murmurs, "I told you I can."

Sooyoung’s breath hitches. “…I guess you can. I’m impressed.”

Sooyoung waits, hyperaware of her rabbit heartbeats, quick and pounding. She waits and waits, wondering if Jiwoo will take her hands off her face; if Jiwoo will stop looking at her lips; if Jiwoo will take a step back and end this prematurely.

But she doesn’t do any of those. Her thumbs stay grazing and her eyes stay locked.

So Sooyoung dares to make the move this time and dips her head to meet Jiwoo’s lips again.

It’s a different kiss the second time around as her other hand settles on the small of Jiwoo’s back, pulling the girl flush against her. Closer, as if she’s worried Jiwoo will slip away if she lets go.

The younger girl seems to have no qualms about it because she returns the kiss with matching fervour. Sooyoung feels the hands leave her jaw, but she doesn’t get the chance to miss Jiwoo’s touch because arms suddenly wrap around her neck to hold her in place.

Jiwoo is surprisingly passionate and it sets off all sorts of fireworks in Sooyoung's chest. She pulls away for a breath and it’s Jiwoo who chases after her lips, eagerly connecting them together again as if Sooyoung would disappear if she didn’t.

Sooyoung reciprocates, almost like a reassurance that she isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. She could do this forever, she thinks, if Jiwoo would allow her.

A hand runs through her hair and the feeling of fingers scratching against her scalp draws out a quiet, pleased hum out of Sooyoung that only spurs Jiwoo to deepen the kiss.

Sooyoung’s mind starts running what feels like a thousand thoughts per second.

_This is nice._

_Is this really happening?_

_This is so nice._

_Wow I like this._

_I wonder if she likes me too._

_Her lips are so soft._

_Peach chapstick. Fitting._

_Shit, my heart is beating like crazy._

_Does she feel the same way?_

Sooyoung doesn’t want to get her hopes up, but then Jiwoo's tongue brushes across her bottom lip and Sooyoung’s thoughts go haywire before completely dissipating, like smoke into thin air.

 _‘Well, a little hope never hurt anybody’_ is the last thought that leaves her mind before she becomes too occupied with floating on cloud nine to think any more.

 

 

 

_(Clause 1: Active engagement in this venture will galvanize your hypothalamus into active production. Any and all liability falls on you, having consented upon the signing of this contract.)_

They say the most perplexingly explained disclaimers are the trickiest, most dangerous pitfalls. They make no sense, carefully worded to make the prospective signatory scratch their head and either second-guess (at worse) or move on (at best).

So let’s put this in layman’s terms.

The fine print, in all its verbose glory, is there like a walkthrough guide delineating the One Big Implication of signing this damn agreement in the first place:

Clause 1: You will fall in love. And that’s on you, bro.  

It’s the finest print there is, so fine that it’s not even put in words. Instead, it’s hidden between the lines, snuck in to the contract like it’s the riskiest disclaimer.

Fine print is designed to screw people over.

And Sooyoung, a steadfast ignorer of the dangers of fine print, is going to let herself fall in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically, agreeing to fake date can be like making a deal with the devil. you think you know what you signed up for but oh you got a big storm comin


	7. chaewon appreciation hour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on today’s plate: i (we) explore the wonder that is park chaewon. yes she deserves it.  
> kind of filler, but fillers have a purpose too!! this might also be the most self-indulgent chapter yet bc it's basically just 2 things I love about writing this fic: 1) chaewon as a character, and 2) chaewon & sooyoung’s friendship…so it’s valid!

Sooyoung won’t admit it, but she’s always been grateful for her Spookytown partner-in-crime.

Chaewon often sends her pictures of Jiwoo, gratuitously but always welcomed, and Sooyoung never hesitates to save them every time. Chaewon's full of surprises like that.

Before the clock strikes the most important hour, let’s take a peek at Sooyoung’s camera roll.

The whole point of saving pictures of things and people is to see them again and again even if they’re not there.

Sooyoung’s camera roll is typically filled with memes and memories. Mostly pretty sunsets and stunning views, delicious meals, and the occasional photo that wouldn’t make sense to anyone else, but the inside story attached to it makes Sooyoung laugh.

Sooyoung does not usually save pictures of girls, no. Other than blackmail content against her friends (she has two folders – one for birthdays and another for if they screw her over; sometimes, photos overlap), there aren’t really any other girls.

She hasn’t had a serious relationship in over a year and every girl since then has only ever been a page in the book (read: fanfiction) of Sooyoung’s Life. Not enough to fill up an entire chapter, no girl worth a whole folder to herself in her camera roll. _Why look at photos of pretty girls when I can just look in the mirror?_ (Whatever, Sooyoung.)

So when Sooyoung lies on her bed, scrolling through her gallery, she’s amused to find more Jiwoo content than pictures of sunsets, food, that forcibly-British girl who's actually from Kansas, or Spongebob screenshots.

Jiwoo laughing, Jiwoo smiling for her camera, candid Jiwoo, Jiwoo’s profile, Jiwoo at the piano… Even things that remind her of Jiwoo or want to show her later: baby penguin plushies, strawberry shortcakes, pretty blouses, and funny-looking animals… Otherwise very un-Sooyoung-like photos.

It’s then she comes to admit a realization that is long, long overdue. One that _everyone_ saw coming the second they opened up this ~~fanfiction~~ book of Sooyoung’s Life:

“Goddamnit,” she muses out loud as she stares at a photo of Jiwoo sleeping (snapped generously by Chaewon), “…I have the biggest, fattest _crush_ on Jiwoo…”

She laughs to herself, covering her face with a pillow when she feels her cheeks burn up. No one’s made her feel this way in a long time.

Their kiss lingers in her mind like a dream and on her lips like a sweet aftertaste.

 

* * *

 

 _‘Not for the fainthearted’,_ the sign at the entrance greets in dripping red lettering on a black background.

The bell that rings every time someone opens the door deceives customers into momentarily thinking that they’re entering a cute little ice cream parlour.

But then they’re greeted by a machete-wielding Jason surrounded by stacks of fake hay and a scarecrow that looks harmless enough until its head pops off its neck like some horrifying jack-in-the-box jump scare.

The whole set-up might induce nightmares for unprepared, first-time visitors, but for Sooyoung, who had grown accustomed to hearing surprised shrieks following the innocent bell ring when she worked here, the display no longer fazes her. Normally, she’d be terrified, but she doesn’t even bat an eye at ear-piercing squawks anymore. She thinks she could even sleep through a murder scene happening in front of her at this point. (Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Discuss.)

(Is Spookytown an unhealthy work environment? Discuss.)

Jiwoo’s shrill screech nearly blows out her eardrums, though. The younger girl collapses dramatically to the floor, clutching her chest as her eyes go crazy wide.

“Welcome to Spookytown! Home of all things fine-thrilling and spine-chilling. Population: _dead_!” Chaewon greets the two with a cheery voice, unfazed by Jiwoo’s blood-curdling scream. Her bedazzled unicorn horn headband sparkles as she leans over the counter to wave at them, lips stretched into the brightest grin.

Sooyoung helps Jiwoo to her feet and uses it as an opportunity to hold her hand as they make their way over to Chaewon.

“Do you have to greet all customers like that now?” Jiwoo asks, fixing her hair.

Chaewon nods. “New manager’s idea.”

“New manager?” Sooyoung raises an eyebrow, “where’s Lee?”

Chaewon leans in to whisper even though they’re the only people in the store. “Apparently Mr. Lee went _missing_. Like, off the face of the earth. Last I heard, he changed his identity and fled to China.”

“…What the fuck?”

Sooyoung’s skeptical but Chaewon just nods her head like a middle-aged woman gossiping with her fellow stay-at-home housewives.

Jiwoo seems convinced, though. And utterly intrigued, judging by her tightening grip around Sooyoung’s hand. “Why would he do that?”

Sooyoung’s just happy she hasn’t let go yet.

“Dunno,” Chaewon shrugs before her fearful eyes dart to the CCTV cameras, “I have an itching feeling that he was a North Korean spy all along.”

 _Oh no, not again_. Sooyoung groans. “For god’s sake, Chae, you’re still going on with that North Korean stuff? He probably got evicted by his landlord so he left to find a better paying job.”

“I’ve already debunked that landlord theory! God, Sooyoung, do you not read my blog?”

“What blog?”

The unicorn horned girl gasps. “I’ve never told you about my _blog?”_

“She discusses conspiracy theories on it with Heejin,” Jiwoo answers after Sooyoung turns to her with skeptical eyes.

“Like…aliens and shit?”

“Huh? No!” Chaewon interjects sharply, “aliens _do_ exist, that’s not even a conspiracy… Our blog is cultured and illuminating.”

“Accusing a Spookytown manager of being a North Korean spy is not cultured nor illuminating…”

Chaewon rolls her eyes. “Whatever, Sooyoung, you don’t get it. We only write for intellects anyway, right Jiwoo?”

Jiwoo nods her head vigorously. “Of course. Your latest update on ‘Giant Crabs Ate the KAL007 Passengers’ was _super_ enlightening.”

When Chaewon juts her chin out smugly, the lights of the store hit her bedazzled unicorn headband just right, twinkling and sparkling atop her head. “ _See,_ Sooyoung? Jiwoo, lend your girlfriend some braincells,” she says pointedly.

At that, Sooyoung scoffs. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” She wishes she was feigning offence, but _Chaewon_ , of all people, saying _she_ has no braincells? Maybe Sooyoung is just a little bit offended. “What’s next, are you going to tell me you write personalised horoscopes too?”

Chaewon’s eyes suddenly light up in interest.  

 _Oh no, I’ve given her an idea…_ Sooyoung shuts her eyes, an exasperated groan escaping from her lips.

“Hey, that might actually be kind of fun,” Jiwoo says with a small giggle.

Sooyoung’s eyes shoot open to give her an incredulous look. “You believe in that stuff?”

“You don’t?”

Sooyoung thinks for a moment. “No,” she answers, lips curling up to a smirk, “unless it told me that you and I were compatible, then yeah, maybe I would believe in it.”

Jiwoo’s smile turns bashful and she rolls her eyes, though Sooyoung suspects from her sudden shyness that she’s feeling more than she lets on.

“Not to sound like Hyunjin, but _ew,_ _gag_ ,” Chaewon chirps, faking a retch, “anyway Jiwoo, show her my blog before she offends me anymore.”

“Yes, for sure, shame on her. I’ll go show her some posts now while we explore the store!” Jiwoo says, hurriedly stepping away from the counter.

“Make her read the Avril Lavigne lookalike one! And the Mattress Firm post!” Chaewon shouts after them as they disappear into an aisle, Jiwoo pulling Sooyoung, “ _and no making out in the store_!”

 

 spoiler alert: chaewon is the only mvp ever

 

They pass by a sexy Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtle costume when Sooyoung pops the question she’s been hesitant to find out the answer to:

“…Do you _seriously_ read Chaewon’s blog?”

She braces herself for Jiwoo’s answer.

“I do,” Jiwoo answers and _oh no have I involved myself with a crazy person?! Is Jiwoo a flat-earther?! Can I love a conspiracist?!_ Sooyoung momentarily panics, “but I don’t believe any of it.”

And the train stops just short of derailing. Thank goodness.

“Oh. Really?” Sooyoung lets out an obvious sigh of relief.  

“Yeah. Hyunjin doesn’t either and Heejin just thinks writing for the blog is fun. We’re just humouring Chae and her questionable life choices. Same reason why we listen to her mixtapes where she just reads things and calls it rapping.”

Sooyoung scoffs, highly amused. “That’s hilarious. But don’t you think you should stop before she gets too…bonkers?”

“Chae’s already bonkers,” Jiwoo replies with a grin and Sooyoung can’t help the chuckle that escapes from her. “I’m just kidding. It’s harmless, trust me. But if she ever starts preaching about the earth being flat, we’ll put a stop to it, I promise.”

Sooyoung grins. “Good.”

Maybe she’s slightly envious of their peculiar friendship, maybe she’s just fascinated. Not that Sooyoung’s lacking friends of her own, but she has yet to meet another person like Chaewon. The girl isn’t Sooyoung’s crowd at all and yet somehow, they became friends. It still puzzles her to this day, but in some ways, her and Chaewon suit each other more than her usual crop of cronies. That might say something more about Sooyoung than Chaewon. 

Jiwoo’s mouth morphs into a deep frown as her eyes scan the costumes on the shelves. “Why are all these costumes so revealing? Why do women always have to be sexualised!?” she huffs.

“Hm, yeah, I agree with you…” Sooyoung hums absentmindedly before reaching above Jiwoo’s head and plucking out a costume, “do you think I’d look good in this?”

She holds up a generic, sexy police outfit. The usual; leather bodysuit, handcuffs and all. Not at all practical as an actual police uniform, obviously, nor is it made for trick-or-treating on a biting late October evening. It’s more fitting for a night out at an Itaewon club with blood red alcoholic punch and awful electronic remixes of Halloween songs.

Jiwoo lets out a scandalized gasp, eyes about to pop out of her head as she snatches the costume from Sooyoung’s hand and puts it back on the shelf.

Sooyoung tilts her head. “Was that a yes or a no?”

“It was a _no_.”

“Aw, how would you know? You’ve never seen me try it on,” Sooyoung says with a pout, “unless you pictured me with it.”

A bright red hue flushes over Jiwoo’s face as she shakes her head vigorously, bangs shifting left and right.

“I didn’t!” she exclaims defensively, turning around so she didn’t have to look at Sooyoung, “oh my god, Sooyoung, why do you always do that?”

“Do what?”

“ _That!_ ”

Sooyoung’s genuinely stumped. “ _What?_ ”

The younger girl faces her again with fists clenched cutely at her side. She’s like a cartoon character sometimes. Sooyoung thinks she can’t possibly be real, but here she is, in the flesh.

“You _know_ what… You did it earlier too when we were talking about astrology,” Jiwoo huffs.

Sooyoung thinks for a moment, looking at the flustered girl in front of her.

Her brain’s doing gymnastics trying to figure out Jiwoo’s expressions – the pursed lips, a hint of suspicion in her eyes, the space between her eyebrows slightly crinkled. And then it clicks. Jiwoo’s furious blushing is probably the most telling.

Sooyoung’s lips quirk into a smirk. _So, she gets flustered when I flirt with her so obv-_

“Do you do that with every girl you meet? You probably do. You shouldn’t, by the way, because it can send off the wrong signals,” Jiwoo says pointedly, crossing her arms high over her chest.

She fails at getting her disappointment across, though, because the blush has spread to the tips of her ears. Sooyoung just laughs.

Was Kim Jiwoo getting jealous? _Jealous_?!

Oh, Sooyoung is going to eat this right up.

“I absolutely do not…” Sooyoung counters, now that she thinks she’s got it all figured out, “my charm has a limited quota so I can only use it on girls worth my time. You’ve been the only one using it up,” she sighs, “selfish, much? I wish you’d just leave some space for the other girls.”

Jiwoo shakes her head as she glances suspiciously at the older girl. “…Why are you smiling like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re teasing me.”

“I’m not doing anything, your face says everything.” Sooyoung chuckles.

For a moment, Jiwoo wavers. “I- what are you talking about? _My face_ isn’t saying anything,” she stammers, pausing for a second in hesitation. “Uh, if you think I’m getting _…jealous_ or whatever…I am _not_ jealous or anything, for the record…”

Sooyoung looks at her innocently. “I didn’t say that.”

“You’re _thinking_ it!”

“Oh, you can read minds now?”

Jiwoo's lips flatten, filling her cheeks with air. “I’m just saying, it’s not jealousy! Why would I be jealous… I’m _not_ jealous… I’m just– suspicious…”

“Mhm. Well, you’re getting _suspiciously_ worked up at the prospect of me flirting with other girls.”

Jiwoo hesitates, face rapidly shuffling through three different expressions before finally settling on the classic: pursed lips and tightly knitted eyebrows. “I… that’s…”  

“Relax, Jiwoo,” Sooyoung says with a small smile, “I’m all yours.”

Jiwoo’s faux disappointment face falters as her puffed out cheeks paint with a flushed red and Sooyoung knows she's got her. But despite all this, she holds her ground, even when Sooyoung takes a step closer.

Jiwoo’s being extra stubborn today, both with her words and her actions. It spurs Sooyoung to lean in even closer, noses nearly touching. And really, all it takes is one last surge and they could kiss right there.

She can’t really read Jiwoo’s face, but maybe she’s waiting for Sooyoung to go for it - if the bobbing of her throat, up and down when she swallows, means anything. The tension turns palpable and the settling atmosphere practically begsfor it...

..But instead, Sooyoung just smirks and reaches up to mess with Jiwoo’s bangs.

Talk about an anticlimax.  

Jiwoo blinks, scrunching her nose shyly and swatting Sooyoung’s hand away before turning to a mirror to fix her bangs. “H-hey…”

“Chaewon said no making out in the store,” Sooyoung chirps cheekily.

And she doesn’t miss the sight of Jiwoo’s ears only going redder before the younger girl turns away from her, hiding behind a curtain of dark auburn hair.

 

 spoiler alert: sooyoung is a total wuss

 

“I am not going in there.”

“Don’t be such a wuss, Jiwoo!”

But the girl just gives them a vigorous shake of her head as she struggles against Chaewon’s death grip on her blouse.

Everyone, what is a Halloween store without a haunted house? That’s right, _a bad one._

So of course, Spookytown, as a leading Halloween retailer, proudly sports its own. It’s quite a polished set-up at the back of the store, with manufactured fog seeping from behind the black curtain and a muffled, ominous creaking sound coming out of the windows.

Very creepy, surprisingly.

Sooyoung finds the sight of Jiwoo and Chaewon practically wrestling in front of the set-up highly amusing.

“Sooyoung!! Help- _ack_ \- _help me_!” comes Jiwoo’s desperate cry.

Sooyoung acts immediately, stepping in between the two girls to pry Chaewon off her precious Jiwoo.

Jiwoo staggers backwards. “Thank you,” she huffs, straightening out her clothes.

“You know, it’s not even that scary inside.” Sooyoung doesn’t know why she just said, but she did.

Jiwoo pauses to glare at her, nostrils flared in betrayal. “No, not you too!” she whines, “I’m not going in there! Not alone, at least.”

With something akin to an evil shit-eating grin on her face, Chaewon skips up to the entrance and gingerly lifts the curtain. “Well, _sadly_ , I’m not allowed to leave the counter unattended, so you two go right on in.”

Looking into the darkness of the house, the amused grin on Sooyoung’s face falters at the slightest.

 _Shit_. Chaewon is such a menace.

Jiwoo turns to her with a raised eyebrow. “I-I’ll go in if you go with me,” she murmurs.

Everything inside Sooyoung is screaming at her, ‘ _don’t go in unless you want to die today’._

So naturally, with Jiwoo looking at her so expectantly in those wide doe eyes of hers, Sooyoung’s answer is obvious: “Okay.”

Because how can she say no to Jiwoo?

 

 actual spoiler alert: don't ever get too ahead of urself, it'll hurt more if things don't turn out as u expect them to be

 

_This was a grave mistake this was a grave mistake this was a grave mistake_

…is the only thing going through Sooyoung’s head and it hasn’t even been a full minute after Chaewon shoved the two of them inside the haunted house.

_We’re going to die we’re going to die we’re going to die_

She’s doing her best to appear as chill as possible to Jiwoo, but her iron grip on the younger girl’s hand must say otherwise. Luckily for her, Jiwoo doesn’t seem to notice how utterly terrified she is because she’s busy freaking out on her own.

_I’m going to meet my end in a fucking Spookytown, of all places in the world, I’m going to die surrounded by overpriced, over-sexualised costumes and questionably ‘non-toxic’ face paint_

Sooyoung’s only been in this hell hole once in her life and that was after losing a bet to Chaewon, so it wasn’t even _voluntary._ Believe it or not, even self-proclaimed hotshot Ha Sooyoung, despite being immune to ear-piercing shrieks, is _scared_ of the Spookytown haunted house.

_Why did I say yes why did I say it wasn’t scary in here it’s so terrifying and dark and I want to cry_

“Oh hell no, hell no, hell no, there’s a weird growling noise over there– I feel like something is going to pop out from the side, _Jiwoo_ , there’s a chill oh my god there's a  _chill_ coming from above, don’t you feel it? Because I feel i-“

Something drops from the ceiling and Sooyoung doesn’t know what it is because she abruptly stops her nonsensical rambling and collapses to the ground with a high-pitched screech, pulling Jiwoo down with her.

They never do get to see the end of it. Sooyoung’s memory is blurry and all she remembers is scurrying out of the dark house on all fours until she was outside under the bright fluorescent lights of the store again.

The nightmare is over, but another begins.

Sooyoung finally calms down enough to process the sight of Chaewon laughing her ass off, clutching her stomach as she leans on a shelf for support.

What’s a thousand times more embarrassing, though, is Jiwoo kneeling in front of her, the corners of her lips struggling not to quirk up in amusement. Other than that, she looks completely put-together.

Great, Sooyoung just made a fool out of herself in front of _Jiwoo_ , of all people. She scrambles to her feet as she feels the blush spread up her neck in an uncomfortable surge of warmth. _God, this is so uncool…_

“Oh my god- oh- _god_ ,” Chaewon’s sputtering out words and gibberish over her laughter, “she didn’t…she didn’t make it through last time either…”

If she wasn’t so flustered and feeling completely humiliated, Sooyoung would tackle Chaewon. But her feet feel like concrete blocks and her eyes are glued to the floor and she can’t bring herself to look at the girl in front of her.

A hand holds on to her arm and a face suddenly appears in her line of vision.

“Are you okay?” Jiwoo asks.

And maybe she looks genuinely concerned, who knows, not that it matters, because all Sooyoung wants is for the ground to open up and swallow her whole.

“I’m fine,” she murmurs, “umm…don’t look at me.”

She turns away from Jiwoo, but the younger girl just side-steps around her, putting her hands on Sooyoung’s shoulder and locking her in place. It leaves her with no choice but to return Jiwoo’s gaze.

Oh, she dreams about this every night, gazing deep into Jiwoo’s eyes. But not under _this_ circumstance. Not when she’s feeling at her most _uncool._

“Sooyoungie,” Jiwoo coos and Sooyoung’s chest swells in an instant at the nickname, “you sure you’re good?”

Nodding sheepishly, Sooyoung swallows. “I hope you understand how embarrassed I feel right now...”

She’s nearly blinded by the brilliant, gummy grin that Jiwoo flashes her. “Oh, _I know_.”

Sooyoung groans and tries to duck out of her hold, but Jiwoo goes to cup her face, positively rooting Sooyoung on the spot. No doubt, the red on her cheeks only intensify.

“You’re blushing like _crazy_ ,” Jiwoo giggles. “For what it’s worth, it was really cool of you to drag me out of there with a death grip instead of leaving me to die on my own, like some sacrificial lamb.”

Sooyoung rolls her eyes as a small smile creeps onto her lips. “Of course, haha, how could I leave you alone in there?”

Oh god, what a last-ditch effort to save face; it’s almost like a really tiny person squeaking out ‘I’m the tallest person in the world!’. As if Sooyoung was totally thinking of protecting Jiwoo and not ‘ _this was a grave mistake we’re going to die I want to cry’._

Unsurprisingly, Jiwoo remains unconvinced, but she lets out another cute giggle anyway. “Oh, did you know your Busan dialect comes out when you’re scared?”

Sooyoung blinks, completely unaware that she had let her satoori slip while she was nervously running her mouth with nonsense inside the haunted house.

“It was cute...”

And next thing she knows, she feels a peck on her face; Sooyoung wishes she knew what urged Jiwoo to lean in and give her a kiss on the tip of her nose.

Such a small, simple act, but it felt so heart-stopping that Sooyoung swears Chaewon’s boisterous cackles behind them suddenly becomes muffled in irrelevance.

“You’re cute,” Jiwoo suddenly says to her with that radiant, toothy grin of hers. Sooyoung's kryptonite.

Even long after Jiwoo pulls her hands away from her face to scold Chaewon, Sooyoung’s heart stays beating irregularly.

 

 go read i'll be seeing you by sujiverse and when lightning strikes by gaywrongs, u cowards!

 

Are employees allowed to play around with the security camera footage? Maybe not. Chaewon doesn’t seem to care as she rewinds and replays the CCTV footage of Sooyoung crawling out of the haunted house.

Her uncontrollable giggling is grating to Sooyoung’s ears, but too cute to be angry about. 

“This is hilarious. As long as I have this, I’ll never be bored on shifts.”

“ _So_ honoured to be your source of entertainment,” Sooyoung deadpans. She’s leaning over the counter, head rested on a fist as she helplessly watches Chaewon laugh at the display screen.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Chaewon apologizes and maybe she _does_ have a heart, “I thought you would’ve gotten braver since last time. Jiwoo seemed so much more scared, I thought it would’ve been a good opportunity for her to cling on to _you_ in there.”

“Well, it ended up humiliating me, but it’s okay, she kissed me on the nose.” Sooyoung shrugs.

It seems like Chaewon was too busy laughing at her earlier to notice them because she suddenly gasps in surprise.

“She did?! That is _so_ cute,” she says, clasping her hands dreamily. “Speaking of _kissing_ , I saw you two sucking each other’s faces the other day in the practice room when I came to pick Jiwoo up for our sleepover.”

Sooyoung’s eyes go wide as she suddenly straightens her back. “…You _saw us?_ ”

“ _Uh huh_. Though the window. I obviously didn’t want to interrupt, so I wandered around the building for twenty minutes. Did you know they leave all the practice room doors unlocked? Is that okay, is that _safe_?” Chaewon rambles, “thankfully, you two were done by the time I came back. I did _not_ want to do another lap. You’re welcome, by the way. I could’ve very much prematurely ended your little seven minutes in heav-”

Sooyoung slaps her on the arm.

Hearing this from Chaewon is unexpectedly embarrassing. On that evening, it felt like earth had stopped spinning and it was only her and Jiwoo left in the world – their own private and secluded moment, not a beating heart around except theirs.

Knowing Chaewon was _there_ , even for just a millisecond behind a window, unceremoniously pops the bubble.

Chaewon doesn’t miss the disappointment expressed by Sooyoung’s pursed lips. She frowns. “Oh. I’m sorry. Maybe I should’ve kept that to myself.”

Sooyoung shakes her head. “It’s okay…just don’t tell Jiwoo. She gets embarrassed kissing in front of her friends.”

“Oh, that must be why she didn’t tell us about it.”

“Did you guys talk about me during your little sleepover?” Sooyoung asks, half joking, half genuinely curious.

“Nope!” Chaewon cheerily says, “we talked about boys and had pillow fights and did each other’s hair and painted our nails.” She giggles seeing Sooyoung roll her eyes. “Sorry, our sleepover ongoings are confidential to anyone who wasn’t there. But she did seem weirdly quiet on the bus ride home.”

Sooyoung cocks her head, now overcome with curiosity. “Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“I don’t know. For someone who looks very clearly happy when she’s happy and very clearly sad when she’s sad, Jiwoo’s kind of cryptic sometimes. It was like a flustered quiet though. Shy, but not embarrassed…?”

The explanation doesn’t do much to quell her curiosity, but Sooyoung appreciates it nevertheless. She can tell Chaewon doesn’t want to change her perception of what happened that night, not wanting to dampen her hopes nor raise them.

Chaewon must’ve noticed her spirits diminish a little because she does something about it. “Hey, if she kissed back, does that mean she likes you?” she asks encouragingly.

 _God, I hope so_. “Maybe…? You think so?” The thought of it makes Sooyoung smile. She sighs softly. “I like her, Chae. Like, _a lot_.”

The unicorn headband almost falls off Chaewon's head when shelets out a dramatic gasp, excitedly hopping up and down and clapping her hands like a well-trained seal. “You do! You admit it!” 

“Admit what?”

Jiwoo’s voice comes from behind, back from a trip to the restroom.

“Uh, that I’m scared of the haunted house,” Sooyoung cuts in.

Good save, very casual, super normal. _No, Jiwoo, we totally weren’t talking about my feelings for you or anything…_

“Oh,” Jiwoo says with a chuckle, “well, not everyone can be invincible. Even you.”

And again, Sooyoung is treated to one of Jiwoo’s signature toothy smiles and she thinks she’ll probably never get tired of seeing it.

But it disappears just as quickly when Jiwoo looks like she suddenly remembers something.

“The bathroom door,” Jiwoo starts, frowning, “it said ‘ _Sooyoung sucks’._ ”

Sooyoung’s eyes go wide. “ _What?_ It’s still there?! Chaewon!!”

“I _tried_ scrubbing it!! But those boys used permanent marker from god knows where!” Chaewon exclaims defensively, “hey, you know someone wrote a… _male reproductive organ_ …underneath it... At least I was able to remove _that_.”

Sooyoung groans. Jiwoo really didn'tneed to hear that, nor see what was written on that bathroom door. Great, if things couldn’t get any worse, they somehow take a more humiliating turn. Today must be cursed if the nightmares of her past keep coming back to haunt her.

Why, oh why, did she take Jiwoo to Spookytown today? They could’ve just had a normal date at Hangang, walk beneath the shade of the trees hand-in-hand or ride those tandem bicycles that straight couples love so much.

But no, today, they thought it might be _fun_ to visit Chaewon at work. Oh, did things take a turn. 

“Those fucking kids, I swear,” Sooyoung says through gritted teeth, eyes tightly shut and nose bridge _pinched_ , “I should’ve thrown them into the haunted house. Teenage boys seriously don’t deserve rights. I can't believe no one did anything about that _vandalism!_ ”

“You know management wouldn't bother fixing it unless the door was hanging off its hinges.”

Sooyoung cracks her knuckles. “That’s it, I’m breaking that door _down_ -“

“I already painted over it.”

Sooyoung and Chaewon’s heads simultaneously turn to Jiwoo, who fishes her pockets for something.

“I scoured the aisles for paint. As long as you don’t scrub it away, you can’t see it. Sorry I used a product without buying it first, but here you go,” Jiwoo says with a huff, slapping some bills on the counter and sliding it towards the startled Spookytown cashier. Chaewon just stares at her in awe.

“Wait,” Sooyoung says, “ _you did_?”

All she can do is blink at Jiwoo because Sooyoung isn’t really sure whether she should laugh or swoon or do both.

The miracle of a human being beside her gives her a resolute nod. Sooyoung doesn’t even think twice before pouncing on Jiwoo, who stumbles backwards. She’s enveloped in a bear hug and Sooyoung squeezes her so tight that Jiwoo breaks into a loud laugh, slapping her arm and squirming under her hold.

 

 me adding hidden text to a chapter: haha omg wow i am so random i can't believe i just did that

 

Sooyoung doesn’t know what she has done to deserve someone like Jiwoo.

“What did I do to deserve you?”

She’s staring dreamily ahead of her, ready to drive – hands on the steering wheel, seatbelt buckled – but the car engine is still off. She’s still apparently too distracted to drive, so they sit in the (empty, like always) Spookytown parking lot.

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Jiwoo says as she peels off a spider sticker and tacks it on Sooyoung’s nose.

On her cheek, there’s a googly eye, and on her forehead, a jack-o-lantern. Her hands are riddled with stickers too, courtesy of Chaewon and Jiwoo.

(“As a reward for being the coolest person here, you can have these Halloween stickers _for free_ ,” Chaewon had said, handing over a pack to Jiwoo like it was a golden ticket.)

She must look absurd, but Sooyoung can’t even bring herself to care at all the stickers vandalising her arms and face because she’s still too busy imaginarily swooning over Jiwoo’s actions today.

In the past couple of hours, Sooyoung had been punched not once, but _twice_ , in the face with embarrassment: first, crawling out of the haunted house like a speedy monster baby out of immense fear, and second, Jiwoo seeing the Sooyoung slander ( _Sooyoung sucks what?!_ ) on the bathroom door of a year-round Halloween store.

And _both_ times, Jiwoo managed to ease her nerves and momentarily melt her humiliation away. Since when was Jiwoo this cool?

The nose kiss already makes her stomach flip. Who would’ve thought angrily swiping paint from the shelves to cover up immature graffiti on the door without telling anyone would make Sooyoung weak in the knees?

She’s far too enamoured. Bare Minimum Sooyoung strikes again.

“I was just doing what any decent person would do,” Jiwoo says coolly.

“Does that mean Chaewon’s not a decent person?” Sooyoung says. She turns to look at Jiwoo and giggles at the skull stickers beneath her eyes. “I think you’re the best girlfriend I’ve ever had.”

She braces herself for Jiwoo to go off on that usual ‘it’s _fake_ girlfriend’ tangent of hers, but unexpectedly, Jiwoo doesn’t say anything. Instead of shooting it down, she tacks on two more stickers on Sooyoung’s forearm with a small smile.

And it only adds to the mush of thoughts and feelings overtaking Sooyoung’s brain.

“By the way, can you call me that more often? I liked it.”

“Call you what?” Jiwoo hums.

“ _Sooyoungie_.”

Jiwoo fakes a cringe, shaking her head while sticking a sparkly spider on Sooyoung’s forehead. “You look ridiculous right now,” she says, “…Sooyoungie.”

Sooyoung laughs. It surprises her how overjoyed she feels over the littlest things when it comes to Jiwoo. “Good. You’re shaping up to be a natural.”

“Now you can’t ever tell me I’m bad at this fake dating stuff,” Jiwoo says with a cute huff. “Let’s go to Burger King, I’m starving.”

The name ‘Burger King’ finally snaps Sooyoung out of her loving-Jiwoo-induced daze. Jiwoo must’ve noticed her smile falter because she asks what’s wrong with Burger King.

“Nothing. Burger King is great. I used to work at Burger King. Got fired. We can’t go to the one at the mall, I’m afraid they’ll throw frozen patties at me and those things are like hockey pucks.”

Sooyoung still shivers at the thought of those wicked high school girls who got her sacked from the job.

_The mall food court employees are a horde of devil’s associates. They are what adults see when they have sleep paralysis. Mindless teenage stoners don’t deserve rights. Maybe teenagers in general don’t deserve rights. I deserve better!_

Jiwoo frowns. “Do you make enemies everywhere you go?”

“Not on _purpose_.”

Jiwoo just shakes her head as she puts a sticker on the dashboard. It doesn’t last long, though, because Sooyoung leans over to peel it off and sticks it on Jiwoo’s forehead instead.

“Hey-!“

Jiwoo doesn’t finish her complaint because Sooyoung gives her a soft peck on the lips that renders her silent.

Fleeting, sudden, and impulsive. Old habits die hard, they say.   

“I’ve been wanting to do that all day,” Sooyoung says quietly when they part, “but Chaewon was around.”

Their faces are still so close that she can feel the heat emanating from Jiwoo’s cheeks. Sooyoung doesn’t show it, but her heart is pounding like a booming bass drum against her ears.

The younger girl just responds with a shy scrunch of her nose. She tacks a purple, sparkly ‘ _BOO!’_ sticker on Sooyoung’s chin.

“Also,” Sooyoung says, leaning back on her seat, “you can put as many stickers on me, but _no_ stickers on the car.”

So of course, heeding her warning, Jiwoo promptly ignores it and puts another sticker on the dashboard. And another, and another. She sticks her tongue out at Sooyoung before curving her lips into a smile.

Sooyoung doesn’t peel them off this time.

She decides that in her world, Jiwoo can do whatever she pleases, as long as it makes her happy.

 

* * *

 

Let’s take an appreciative moment to talk about Spookytown employee Park Chaewon:

Chaewon is _many_ things.

She’s a part-time Spookytown employee, and a decent one at that if her fourth consecutive go as Employee of the Month is any testament. (A reward Sooyoung had once been offered before, declined without hesitation because it called for a framed photo - specifically, a self-submitted selfie - behind the counter, right beside lenticular posters of the Mona Lisa that turn demonic from another angle.)

She’s a part-time conspiracy blogger. Sooyoung doesn’t know the details, but she does know that her blog _at least_ gets a few hits per week. Unless Chaewon’s lying about the tales of her fighting trolls in the comments section.

She’s a part-time voodoo practitioner, weekend-regular. It’s a recent interest she picked up after sensationalised, fictional books on witch doctors became part of Spookytown’s stock. Sooyoung doesn’t believe in it, but she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a _tiny bit_ scared of Chaewon.

She’s a part-time Soundcloud rapper, if one can call putting a beat over a deadpan recording of herself reading WikiHow articles ‘rapping’. (“It’s an _experimental_ genre,” Chaewon had said, “and a commentary on millenials’ entitlement and increasing dependence on external assistance.” Says the girl who still lives with her parents and googles how to do anything and everything.)

Chaewon’s either an expert troll and this is all just a very elaborate satirical act with her as the only one who gets it – _or_ she’s just genuinely weird.

Sooyoung isn’t any of those things, but she’s also many things herself.

Full-time student, full-time dance club vice president, full-time narcissist, full-time fake girlfriend, full-time admirer of Jiwoo. It’s clear she throws her whole self into everything she does.

They’re on two completely separate islands and Spookytown, of all places, is the miracle bridge between them. Sooyoung doesn’t know how a friendship blossomed, but it did. And she owes a lot to the younger girl; not only did she save her from a summer of boredom, but best of all, she introduced her to Jiwoo.

Kim Jiwoo; the object of her affections, a persistent presence in her thoughts, and the reason Sooyoung wakes up everyday feeling a little less hateful towards the world. She’s a wonder.

So of course, Chaewon deserves every bit of gratitude Sooyoung feels for her.

Now, what’s the reason for this sudden sentiment? _Why_ is it Chaewon Appreciation Hour?

“Holy shit, you got us tickets to the fair?!”

Sooyoung is awed at the passes Chaewon coolly hands her.

This year’s SolsticeFest has been rumoured to be the best one yet, though it seems like they rave about it all the same every year.

Nevertheless, Sooyoung’s never actually been and has never bothered to go. Carnivals and fairs aren’t really her thing and rides are _definitely_ not her thing. She once rode the Hurricane at Everland and threw up for four hours afterwards. Not fun.

Given that it’s a favourite event amongst the student body, tickets always sell out too quickly anyway.

Not that there’s anything particularly special about it, but it’s one of the few opportunities for students to let loose. Have fun, enjoy themselves under the sun, and then get flat-out smashed when night falls without any lingering worries about exams or assignments. As an end-of-summer treat, it’s their last breath of fresh air before fall semester comes back full swing to slap everyone in the face.

Opting to sit out from the fair, but _not_ from the fun, Sooyoung usually spends SolsticeFest weekend hanging out and getting wasted with her friends. Since they’re all _too-cool-for-the-fair_ just like her.

Jiwoo, however, has been raving about SolsticeFest all summer, claiming how it’s a _must-go_ and she’ll never feel fully satisfied with her university experience if she never gets a taste of it. Sooyoung often reminds her that she’s still got three more years ahead of her. Jiwoo’s still itching to go and has been sulking because she couldn’t get tickets.

So, of course: Sooyoung, determined to be the best (fake) girlfriend out there and be a dependable source of Jiwoo’s happiness, has been doing her darndest to nab a pair of SolsticeFest tickets.

She even dragged herself to campus at 9am on a Saturday to catch the pre-sale booth, but they sold out while she was in line. How could pre-sale tickets sell out so quickly, she thought, then found out students reserved tickets in advance (there are pre-sales for pre-sales? _Pre-_ pre-sales?!)

She even tried making deals she knew she’d regret later with students, friends, and dance club underclassmen. Anyone who did have a ticket wasn’t willing to give it up.

Jeez, was a carnival really that worth it?

Fed up and sorely disappointed, Sooyoung was _this_ close to just buying overpriced tickets from online scalpers.

But once again, Chaewon swoops in like a knight in shining armour, coming in on her winged horse (so like, a pegasus). _The life saver_. She’s probably a heroic interplanetary detective in another life, saving the world from some Big Bad villain.

“Aren’t I cool? I’m pretty cool,” Chaewon says, her lips tugged to the side in a complacent smirk.

 “You’re freaking amazing,” Sooyoung raves, “what the hell, Chae, I thought they were sold out!”

“I have a few tricks up my sleeve," she wiggles her eyebrows, "now you and Jiwoo can go to SolsticeFest together. Just don’t tell her I gave you the tickets though.”

Her nose is in the air and her arms are crossed so smugly that Sooyoung is convinced Chaewon isn’t pulling her leg.

“Thank you, god, _thank you_ …why do you always pull though for us like this?” Sooyoung asks curiously.

“I must do everything in my power to make sure the evil is defeated.”

“Damn, do you despise Jungeun that much?”

Chaewon purses her lips. “No! Um, I don’t even know who that is. Who’s Jungeun? _The evil_ is Jiwoo’s sadness,” she counters and Sooyoung chuckles. “I just care about Jiwoo. She deserves to move on. And while I’ve erased Jungeu- I mean, _you-know-who_ from my memory, I’m not saying Jiwoo should do the same. I’m just saying she should be able to look at her differently. They're best friends, after all.”

Sooyoung opens her mouth to comment, but Chaewon puts a finger up to shush her. “And before you accuse me living out my ‘revenge story’ or _whatever_ ,” Chaewon emphasizes with air quotes, “I want to say that Jiwoo told me herself that she wants to move past this. And I know she can. Character development or whatever, right? We all want her to be happy, she deserves that.”

For someone who raps ‘how to sew a button’ step-by-steps and gets into online arguments about whether former-South-Korean-president Park Geunhye is actually a lizard person or not, Chaewon can have quite the silver tongue sometimes. Needless to say, Sooyoung is 40% impressed, 60% touched.

Sooyoung gives her a soft smile. “You’re right. Jiwoo does deserve to be happy.”

After all, they’re young with their entire lives ahead of them. Jiwoo deserves to move past old relationships and learn from them, like every other functioning adult. It’s how they grow, it’s how Sooyoung has matured and come to understand herself better.

The wise, sage Chaewon isn’t done just yet:

“And _you_ , Ha Sooyoung, are the golden key. The light at the end of the tunnel...the string through the labyrinth…you’re the way out!” she exclaims animatedly, “the Ariadne to Jiwoo’s Theseus. And you-know-who’s Minotaur.”

Sooyoung has only taken one classical studies course in her life and she slept through it, so she doesn’t really understand what Chaewon just said, but it gets to her heart anyway.

“Also, you guys are like really, _really_ cute together,” Chaewon murmurs, almost like an afterthought, “if you can be the one who pulls Jiwoo out of her heartbreak-induced misery, then _of course_ I support you two.”

Sooyoung feels her heartstrings being tugged with impossible force.

“Chaewon…you are like the mother I’ve never had, the sister everybody would want, and the best friend everyone deserves. I don’t know a better person.”

“…Did you just quote Oprah?”

Sooyoung only gives her a content sigh. She’s truly glad Jiwoo’s got friends like Chaewon.

The girl in front of her grins. “Hey, I’m doing this for you too. You’re like super cool, you know. Whenever you acknowledge me on campus, my coolness level goes up and I feel awesome for the rest of the day. I’ll never forget that time you talked down the robber who held me at gunpoint in Spookytown,” she says seriously, firmly holding on to Sooyoung’s shoulders, “you saved my life.”

Sooyoung chuckles. “Okay, calm down, that was a fifteen-year-old shoplifter with a water gun. But you’re welcome.”  

“Point is, both you and Jiwoo deserve to be happy and I think you can give each other that happiness,” Chaewon says with a tender smile, “she’s been brighter ever since she met you.”

And maybe Sooyoung feels like bursting into tears on the spot because she doesn’t deserve a friend like Chaewon either, so when her eyes start to water, she pouts to suppress it and throws her arms around the younger girl.

“Chae, listen, I don’t know what you’re going to pursue in life, whether it’s to be on Unpretty Rapstar, or to own a chain of Spookytowns and be a chaebol, or to be a conspiracist, a slam poet, the president, or a PBI agent, or _whatever_ ,” Sooyoung mumbles incoherently into her hair, tightening her hug, “but I will have your back 100%. Always. You can tease me all you want and I promise to never get mad.”

It’s a promise that feels so lacking compared to what Chaewon has done for her, but it’s also the most heartfelt thing Sooyoung has ever told her and she doesn’t know how else to express her gratitude.

Chaewon is many things. Her entire being is a list that’s constantly changing and being added to, but there’s one constant at the top that reigns above all the esoteric hobbies and strange quirks: being a loyal friend who’d do anything for the people she cared about.

Chaewon: quite possibly the best wingwoman ever? Maybe it should be Chaewon appreciation hour 24/7.

The younger girl pats her on the back. “What I want to pursue in my life? Well, I want to officiate your future wedding, as long as you’re marrying Jiwoo.”

“Haha- wait, what?”

“I’m an ordained minister online.”

Park Chaewon, always full of surprises.

Sooyoung realises that in fact, she _wouldn’t_ hesitate to admit how grateful she is for her one and only, irreplaceable Spookytown partner-in-crime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not a filler being my fav chapter to write lmaooo chaewon appreciation hour is now an every-hour event!!  
> a little fyi: we’re around ~3/4 into the story already. i’m kind of sad about nearing the end but also excited :)


	8. operation jiwoobilation - oj for short (part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what? me dragging this out bc i don’t want it to end??! pffft haha nooo it’s called [reads smudged writing on hand] s l o w b u r n  
> may i interest you in today’s soup of the day? It’s called "please read i’ll be seeing you by sujiverse it’s the best fic in the tag"

14 days until SolsticeFest. Not that Sooyoung’s keeping count.

 _Her?_ Excited for an overrated event where blue-clad throngs of her university’s best and brightest take to campus in a ritual of ultimate summer closers, beer, and school spirit? No way.

Sooyoung remains adamant about her _too-cool-for-the-fair_ attitude and can’t be bothered to pay attention to anything related to it, but she no longer minds lending Jiwoo an ear whenever she raves about it.

Maybe because it’s the easiest way to get Jiwoo grinning from ear to ear.

But lately, she’s been trying other tactics. Keen on keeping Jiwoo in high spirits, Sooyoung has made it a goal to make her smile more often. _Operation Jiwoobilation_ , as she calls it, OJ for short. Get it? A portmanteau of ‘Jiwoo’ and ‘jubilation’? Wow, _so_ clever, Sooyoung.

(Okay, maybe she spent thirty minutes clicking around an English dictionary website for J words until she wounded up with ‘jubilation’, but nevertheless, Sooyoung thinks she’s an absolute _genius_ sometimes, gifted with ingenious wit…)

Moving on, Sooyoung’s tackling an elaborately brainstormed course of action (for once, she tames her impulsivity) that begins with a trip to the aquarium because who doesn’t like colourful fishies?

Jiwoo’s billion-kilowatt smile shines brighter than the flash that comes from Sooyoung’s phone as she snaps her photo.

So far, so good.

She pets the penguin on top of its head and it waddles happily like it’s been touched by a golden palm. Goodness, even animals love Jiwoo. She’s basically a Disney princess. Can this girl do no wrong?

Sooyoung hasn’t stopped smiling all afternoon. A happy Jiwoo means a happy Sooyoung. In this sense, OJ’s a win-win for everyone. The entire day, she’s felt like she’s been soaring through the sky.

The aquarium date was ongoing under the guise of a totally-chill-and-platonic-hangout/fake-dating-practice.

(Sooyoung imagined getting rebuffed in the most roundabout, most humiliating, most disappointing way: "would you like to go to the aquarium?" to which Jiwoo would go, "you mean like...with everyone...? The others said they wanted to go too. We should go with everyone.")

Just her and Jiwoo, alone, enjoying each other’s company. It also meant that whatever they did wasn’t done for an audience to see; Sooyoung freely looped their arms, tucked a strand behind Jiwoo’s ear, brushed her hand, and looked at her like she hung the moon – and not because Jungeun’s watching, or Chaewon dared her to.

Genuine actions, no ulterior motives besides making Jiwoo happy!

Okay, maybe _‘I’m Doing This Because I Also Want You To Understand That I Like You Very, Very Much Without Me Having To Say It Out Loud’_ is an ulterior motive.

But hey, it comes from the _heart._

With Jungeun really being the only person they need to keep up the act for, they don’t have much incentive to keep acting like a couple without her around. Except they’re so used to it, it’s become second nature, much to Sooyoung’s delight, of course.

“This was fun!” Jiwoo exclaims, “I’m really glad you took me here today.”

Sooyoung lights up. “Really?”

“I’ve never been here before,” Jiwoo says with a nod, “but I’ve always wanted to.”

“Well, I’m glad I fulfilled your wish. You got any left? I’ll make all of them come true.”

Jiwoo giggles as she narrows her eyes. “Please, you can’t possibly fulfill _all_ of them.”

“I would try.” And Sooyoung holds back from telling her that she would seriously bend over backwards to pull it off. OJ requires 100% commitment after all. 

Suddenly, Jiwoo’s grin softens into a smaller smile and she looks at Sooyoung with that curious innocence of hers, absent of any guile, those eyes that resemble twinkling stars. It’s the same look that just turns Sooyoung into jelly, melting insides and swirling thoughts.

“Why?”

Sooyoung raises a brow at her sudden question.

“You’d do that for me?” Jiwoo prods.

“Sure,” Sooyoung says with a shrug, everything inside her reminding her to act _chill,_ “why wouldn’t I?”

“I think the better question is why would you,” Jiwoo counters, the soft smile still playing on her lips.

“Because I want to.”

Maybe Jiwoo doesn’t believe it, but she can be (she _is_ ) someone worth going to the ends of the earth for. Sooyoung believes it wholeheartedly and she almost wants to grab Jiwoo’s shoulders, shake her and yell at her how worthy she is.

Sooyoung should just say it how it is: ' _I’d do anything for you'_

_(…in fact, I made it my mission to maintain your happiness. It’s called Operatioon Jiwoobilation, OJ for short, as in your pretty name and the English word ‘jubilation’ put toge-)_

“I want to grant your wishes too,” Jiwoo says after a short contemplative moment.

Sooyoung gives her a light chuckle in response. “Yeah? Should we just be each other’s genie?”

“Yes,” Jiwoo says resolutely, “I’m being serious!”

“And why would you do that for me?”

“You’ve done so much for me, I want to repay you.”

“Dummy, you already pay me for everything I do,” Sooyoung says.

She refrains from telling Jiwoo that she hasn’t been spending any of the money Jiwoo’s been giving to her for this whole ‘fake girlfriend’ service. She started feeling bad about taking money from the girl, considering she’d clear her schedule and spend an entire day with Jiwoo for _free_.

Somewhere along the way, probably when her feelings were no longer pretend, Sooyoung stopped seeing it as salary; she began tucking it into a piggy bank with full intentions of giving all of it back to Jiwoo one day. Preferably after one of them confesses to each other and they’re living a happy dating life, far off enough that Jiwoo can take it back without guilt for using her time.

That’s mostly just Sooyoung being idealistic though.

But she’ll give all of it back, relationship or not.

“You don’t have to grant any of my wishes,” Sooyoung tells her honestly. Jiwoo being here with her already fulfills so many of them, but she keeps that to herself. “Especially if it’s only because you think you need to.” 

Jiwoo’s eyebrows knit subtlely. “No, not that. I _want_ to.”

“No, you don’t.” Sooyoung narrows her eyes suspiciously as amusement tugs at her lips.

Jiwoo suddenly reaches for her hand. “I totally do! If someone like _me_ should get their wishes granted, then someone like you should too.”

Alright, that doesn’t even make _sense_ to Sooyoung.

Jiwoo’s wishes should be granted because her smile is a cure-all for any affliction, contagious enough to completely eradicate anyone’s gloom at the first appearance of her pearly whites. They should be granted because anyone as bright and kindhearted as her deserves every good thing the world could offer them. She's _'a love worth dying for' ,_ or something painfully cheesy like that.  

Sooyoung, on the other hand…Sooyoung’s just Sooyoung. Sure, she’s got an inflated ego and believes she’s perfectly capable of achieving anything, but that’s why Sooyoung thinks she can grant her _own_ wishes. She doesn’t feel deserving of someone else granting them for her, though. She may be narcissistic, but she isn't entitled.

Her reservations must’ve accidentally flashed on her face because Jiwoo notices it. “Stop that,” she suddenly warns.  

Sooyoung blinks. “Stop what?”

“Stop whatever you’re thinking.”

“…I’m not thinking anything.”

Jiwoo purses her lips. “You don’t believe me when I say I want to grant your wishes.”

Curse Jiwoo and her friends and their damn intuition. Is this what they do at their sleepovers? Hone their sixth sense? Is Chaewon teaching them the art of telepathy?

“Alright, maybe, not really,” Sooyoung fesses up. Might as well admit it since these freshmen always see right through her.

“Can’t you have a little faith in me sometimes?” Jiwoo asks and when Sooyoung senses the hint of disappointment in her tone, she immediately feels like taking back everything she has said in the past thirty seconds.

“It’s not that!” Sooyoung hurriedly retorts, “it’s just- would you really?”

 _…do anything for me?_ would follow, if Sooyoung had the guts to say the rest of it. And it’s a genuine question, not bait to fish for something she wants to hear, something idealistic.

“Of course I would.” Jiwoo’s bottom lip juts out in a subtle pout.

“Serenade me with a romantic, acoustic rendition of ‘Genie’ by Girls’ Generation to prove it…?” Sooyoung quips with a cheeky smirk, though it flies over Jiwoo’s head. (But this isn’t a joke either; she wants Jiwoo to sing for her one day.)

The girl in front of her huffs. “…You’re surprisingly cynical.”

“Well, it’s only natural for someone who’s motivated purely by self-interest to think that everyone else is too,” Sooyoung jokes. _Half-jokes_. Kind of.

And then she immediately resents herself for saying that because it is totally _uncool_ and _not smooth_ to divulge her worst vices to the girl she likes. Like who does that? _Hey! I like you, here are ten things that you wouldn’t like about me._

“That’s not true, and you’re not like that either,” Jiwoo says, tightening her grip. Only then Sooyoung remembers that they’re still holding hands. She suddenly feels shy.

“Sorry…” is the only thing she manages to say. Though she’s not really sure what she’s sorry for. Making Jiwoo pout? Probably. That’s a slip-up to note on the OJ files for later.

Jiwoo sighs. “Okay, genie, I have another wish for you to grant,” she says, “I wish Ha Sooyoung would have more faith in me.”

Sooyoung’s cheekbones jut out as her lips curve into a wide smile. “Wish granted. Sooyoung now believes Jiwoo will do anything for her.”

Oop, there she goes. Being bold with her idealism. Was this a genie service or the Monkey’s Paw?

This time, though, Jiwoo lives up to Sooyoung’s wishful thinking.

“Yes!” she giggles and Sooyoung’s heart melts, “I could get used to this genie stuff.”

Sooyoung chuckles. “Well, _good_ , because I’m not done granting wishes just yet. I have a surprise for you.”

On to the next course of action of Operation Jiwoobilation.

Jiwoo’s eyes light up curiously. “A surprise?”

“First, since you want to be my genie so bad, grant me my wish of coming back to campus with me?”

A hand flies up to Jiwoo’s temple in a prompt salute as she suddenly straightens her posture. “Of course! Your wish is my command.”

 

 

 

A dopey schoolgirl. Yup. That’s what Sooyoung has felt like all day.

And the feeling has only amplified as she excitedly leads Jiwoo by the hand through the halls of the performing arts building, deserted at 8pm on a Friday.

She’s almost jogging across the corridor, but Jiwoo doesn’t point it out, letting herself be shephered as she keeps pace with the older girl. In the car, Sooyoung had dodged every one of Jiwoo’s attempts to get her to hint at what the surprise was.

Sooyoung takes her straight to a practice room. _The_ practice room. The one they cleaned up together, the one they kissed in. _Kissed_ kissed. It’s the same day of the week. Same time, even.

Sooyoung knows all this because that night is practically seared into her mind.

Because of that episode, the practice room has taken on a special sort of meaning to her; before, it was just an ordinary studio, one of many in the dance wing, but now it’s _so_ much more than that.

She spends more time in this room than anyone and always, the feeling of that night – the butterflies in her stomach, the frenzy of her thoughts, Jiwoo’s soft lips against hers – rushes back into her memory like some all-amazing-delightful-tsunami-of-bliss. Never _once_ does the feeling fade, no matter how long she spends in the room, how often she’s in it, or how engrossed she is in her dancing.

It’s almost embarrassing. It makes her lose focus. And Sooyoung is not one to get distracted when she’s working hard in the practice room.

It’s amusing how easily Jiwoo can seize her thoughts like this.

And so, since only good things should happen in this room, especially on Friday nights, Sooyoung thought it’d be the perfect place to reveal her surprise.

The ideal setting for the thrilling final phase of today’s OJ mission.

Sooyoung ushers Jiwoo to the centre of the room, the same spot they stood in when they kissed. Yes, she even remembers that, and she doesn’t really want to admit the reasoning behind doing this, but maybe, _just maybe_ , they’d both be overcome with the same feeling and courage that took over them that day.

And maybe, just maybe, Sooyoung would get an encore performance of that night.

If her hunch is correct and Jiwoo feels the same way about the kiss as she did, then an encore would be the perfect conclusion to their day.

 _God_ , she really wants to kiss Jiwoo again. And again, and again.

(See how much Sooyoung has thought things through? Look at her go. From impulsive jobless hot girl to OJ’s hot mastermind - less dangerously impulsive and not desperately jobless. Changing for the better! Is this a testament of Jiwoo’s impact?)

Jiwoo’s still looking at her with that same curious look in her eyes. Sooyoung’s eager to know if Jiwoo’s reminded of that night too, but she doesn’t have the resolve to ask her about it.

Even though she spends every minute of her life thinking about it, talking about it feels like uncharted territory. Neither of them have brought it up since; a silent agreement to keep hush, almost as if it never happened. If Sooyoung dreamed that entire thing, it would be a hell of a plot twist. 

But no, don’t worry, she didn’t. She has to remind herself of that too. It happened, no matter how much it feels like a dream.

“I have a question for you. What’s two weekends away?” Sooyoung asks her

“SolsticeFest.” Jiwoo’s answer comes without hesitation. “Why? … _Wait_.”

And then her features morph like slow motion, from a curious tilt of her head to widened eyes as the realisation comes to her.

Sooyoung’s smile turns into a lopsided grin as she lets go of Jiwoo’s hand to dig through her bag. She pulls out the two tickets. 

It only takes Jiwoo a second to process what’s in her hand and in the next moment, she’s letting out a loud, high-pitched dolphin squeal, jumping up and down in pure, unrestrained joy.

A whole bunch of things happens in like a time lapse; Jiwoo goes from jumping circles around her, to grabbing Sooyoung’s wrist and giving it a violent shake (her poor joints…), to planting a big kiss on her cheek, and lastly to pouncing on her and enveloping her in the tightest hug Sooyoung has ever experienced.

“Oh my gosh oh my gosh _oh my gosh_ ,” Jiwoo screams, hopping up and down. Sooyoung, still in her arms, doesn’t really have a choice but to hop up and down with her as she laughs loudly. “ _How_?! They’ve been sold out for more than a week!!”

“Divine intervention,” Sooyoung answers jokingly. (Though it might be true because maybe Chaewon _is_ God.)

“Holy _shit_ , Sooyoung!” Jiwoo squeals, impossibly tightening her hold around the other girl. “I don’t know what to say! You’re amazing, you’re _amazing_! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!”

Sooyoung manages to disentangle herself from Jiwoo’s iron grip to give her the tickets.

“Can you grant me another wish in return?” she asks with a smile and Jiwoo gives her an overly enthusiastic nod. “These tickets are for you, do what you want with them,” Sooyoung says, “but I wish you’ll take me. As your supposed _girlfriend_ and all.”

Jiwoo flashes her a grin wide enough to get a page in OJ's special files. “Are you kidding? _Of course_ I’ll take you! Who else would I choose over you?!”

The last line makes Sooyoung’s heart leap right out of her chest. She knows Jiwoo’s talking about the carnival, but still, it’s a profound thing to hear from the light of her life.

When Jiwoo wraps her arms around her neck to pull her in for a hug, Sooyoung’s arms naturally wrap around her waist. Their laughter bounces off the walls and their smiles light up the room brighter than the fluorescents on the ceiling.  

Even amidst the happiness surging through her entire body, Sooyoung examines the situation closely. Should she kiss Jiwoo? Can she? Would it be appropriate? Is the timing right? Would it even make sense? How would she justify it?

She had a reason last time. She doesn’t really have one this time around.

Sooyoung doesn’t want to fall back into old habits and do it out of the blue, running the risk of ruining the nearly perfect day they’ve been having. Not to mention it’s only going so smoothly because of her devotion to OJ; for once, Sooyoung planned their day out carefully. Why risk messing it up now with her old pal _impulsivity_?

She pulls away from Jiwoo, not enough to let her go, but just enough to look at her in the face.

Both of their grins mellow to softer smiles the moment they lock eye contact.

Sooyoung’s careful not to let her gaze wander to Jiwoo’s lips. Luckily for her, it’s not very hard when there’s a guileless sort of twinkle behind Jiwoo’s eyes that makes it difficult to look away from.

“Seriously. Thank you, Sooyoung,” Jiwoo says and there’s a gentle timbre to her voice that makes her sincerity ring out clearer than crystal, “today’s been the happiest I’ve felt in a long time.”

Sooyoung’s heart rate spikes. Her thoughts go haywire, evident in how her mouth remains agape, but no reply comes out, the words held back in her throat.

Jiwoo’s words were something Sooyoung never knew she needed to hear. Seeing Jiwoo smile had always been enough.

Up until now, what she’s wanted to hear from Jiwoo have been simple things. ‘ _You’re pretty’…‘let’s spend the day together’…_ ‘ _I like you, too’_ …

But _‘today’s been the happiest I’ve felt in a long time’_? That one blows all of those out of the water because it’s a confirmation of exactly what Sooyoung wants to be in Jiwoo’s life: a constant, dependable source of happiness.

Any wish for a kiss immediately dissipates in Sooyoung’s thoughts; _this_ is the best conclusion to OJ. Hell, it’s the whole point of it.

“…Really?” is the only thing Sooyoung can muster to say, still taken aback from Jiwoo’s confession.

Jiwoo nods, smile still as soft as ever. “Really.”

“Seriously?”

“ _Seriously_.”

“…Because of me?”

“Because of you.”

The tip of Sooyoung’s mouth quirks. “…Really? Me?”

She swears the warmth blossoming in her chest can melt all the snow in Antarctica. Somewhere past the wall, a panel of commentators in a living room simultaneously melt at her reaction and chide her for sounding like an idiot who forgot to talk. 

“ _Yes_ , you. Ha Sooyoung,” Jiwoo confirms. Bare Minimum Sooyoung makes a reappearance; the sound of her name in Jiwoo’s voice is pure honey to her ears. “How many times do I have to say it?”

“I just wanted to hear it again,” Sooyoung murmurs and oh my god, she _giggles._ Like an utterly lovesick puppy dog, her front teeth peeking from behind her lips as her finger absentmindedly draws soft circles on the small of Jiwoo’s back.

Jiwoo rolls her eyes playfully.  

And then she does the unthinkable: she leans and kisses Sooyoung, out of the blue and without notice.

A soft, fleeting touch of their lips.

This is such a _Sooyoung thing_ to do, not a _Jiwoo thing_ , which is why it knocks the wind out of Sooyoung as quickly as it’s over.

The world stays spinning even after they part.

Jiwoo must’ve gotten embarrassed at seeing her taken-aback reaction because her cheeks immediately flare up. “I-I’m sorry.”

There it is, an automatic apology after an automatic kiss.

Sooyoung gathers her cool and re-organizes her inner workings, exhaling a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Did that just really happen?

She swallows. “Tell me you just did that not because you felt like repaying me, but because you wanted to.”

Jiwoo doesn’t answer immediately. In fact, it seems to take her a second or two to process the words. Sooyoung doesn’t know whether the hesitation is a good thing or a bad thing, but Jiwoo unexpectedly gives her the answer she’s looking for:

“I wanted to.”

Sooyoung blinks in awe. “…Really?”

Jiwoo smiles a bit, amused, before her head bobbles in a little nod. “Really.”

And Sooyoung, still too scared to ruin the moment, refrains from asking her why. Instead, she asks for something else:

“Then do it again.”

Much to her relief, Jiwoo lets her save her question for another day because she doesn’t let the silence drag on any longer, leaning in again to catch Sooyoung’s lips with hers.

Sooyoung closes her eyes.

Just like that night, she doesn’t get to dwell too long on entertaining the million possible answers because her thoughts malfunction with Jiwoo’s ministrations; soft fingers playing with the hairs at the back of her neck, palms curved protectively around her neck, lips moving against hers with unexpected certainty. Sooyoung can no longer tell up from down.

They’re going at an unhurried, almost sluggish, pace, like there’s 120 seconds in a minute instead of 60; slow-going and every bit deliberate. Neither of them want it to end, Sooyoung would like to think.

_She wants this as much as I do._

Jiwoo’s a remarkable kisser, so, _so_ pleasantly gentle with her, or maybe Sooyoung only enjoys it so much because it’s Jiwoo.

Per her expectations and wishes, only good things happen in The Practice Room.

And maybe, when the time comes and she has perfected what she’s going to say, this practice room will be where Sooyoung tells Jiwoo how she really feels about her too. No pretend feelings, no pretense.  

Same day, same hour, same feelings.

She can only hope it’ll make Jiwoo as happy as she is about the time they’ve spent together today.

 

* * *

 

 

13 days until SolsticeFest. Sooyoung keeps sneaking peeks at her calendar.

spookytown's saving grace  
  
thinking things through is a good idea  
  
why'd it take me so long to try it?  
  
told u so!  
  
i only ever give out good advice  
  
0 kids locked in the washroom too  
  
i'm so proud of u :')  


 

* * *

 

 

7 days until SolsticeFest. _Maybe_ Sooyoung is keeping count.

Today, Jiwoo’s invite has Sooyoung idealistically wondering if the girl’s got her own secret _Operation Sooyoung..bilation_ (doesn’t flow as smoothly, huh…) because it seems like she’s been making a special effort to make her happy too.

Movie night and sleepover at Jiwoo’s house, as Sooyoung has learned, is a biannual tradition reserved for her closest friends, tracing back to her childhood years. Even though Jiwoo has cycled through many friend groups in her life, the tradition sticks, so much so that the extra room in her family’s apartment has been completely decked out and turned into her little, personal home theater for this very custom.

“My first movie night at Jiwoo’s house. _Truly_ honoured,” Sooyoung says, watching as Jiwoo struggles to reach for something on a higher cupboard.

Taking advantage of her meager five-centimetres-taller height difference, Sooyoung reaches above her, chin purposely brushing against Jiwoo’s head, to grab the popcorn bowl for her.

“Thanks,” Jiwoo says, “you totally should be. Movie night at Jiwoo’s house is an exclusive event, you know.”

Sooyoung leans on the counter and crosses her arms. “So, whose idea was it to invite me? Heejin’s?” A dampened thud comes from the movie room (suspiciously sounding like a pillow hitting an unsuspecting victim) followed by a shriek and a shrill ‘ _Hyunjin!’_ (suspiciously sounding like Chaewon). “Chaewon’s? Or maybe even… _Jungeun_ ’ _s_?”

Jiwoo narrows her eyes as she reaches across Sooyoung to open a drawer, her arm brushing against the older girl’s stomach. Sooyoung’s surprised at her own momentary flinch, an instinctive reaction at their close distance. She hopes Jiwoo didn’t notice.

They keep doing this lately - brushing against each other on purpose with touches that are uncalled for. It's silly, akin to a pair of shy, inexperienced middle schoolers playing footsie beneath the table; bold enough to add kindling to their fire, but still too timid to fan their flames into something bigger. Maybe someone should serve them up a plate of spectacularly mediocre omelettes with 'cowards' written in ketchup on top. 

Sooyoung doesn’t know who started the subtle touches, but it makes her heart race.

“No, actually, it was _my_ idea, believe it or not,” Jiwoo counters.   

Sooyoung lets out an exaggerated gasp. “Seriously? Wow, Kim Jiwoo, you’re a new woman.”

Jiwoo scrunches her nose. “What are you talking about…”

“It was the tickets, wasn’t it? Hmm, I see. I had to _buy_ your love and attention.” Sooyoung tsks with a shake of her head. Nevermind she didn’t actually buy anything (though Sooyoung does want Chaewon to fess up the cost of the tickets one day so she can pay her back).

“ _No_ , actually,” Jiwoo protests again, lips pursed pointedly, “I knew Jungeun was coming and it’d be suspicious if you weren’t here. You _are_ supposed to be my girlfriend, after all.” She wiggles her eyebrows.

Jiwoo shuffles over to another part of the kitchen, a foot brushing against Sooyoung’s when she passes.

Sooyoung gives her a slow clap. “Wow, Kim Jiwoo, I’m _very_ impressed with your newfound initiative.”

Despite the sarcasm in her words, she’s genuinely impressed.

Jiwoo rolls her eyes, throwing popcorn into her mouth.

“Do you think this is buttery enough?” she asks, holding out the popcorn. Sooyoung obediently opens her mouth and Jiwoo pops one in, fingers brushing Sooyoung’s lips when she retracts her hand.

“Mhm,” Sooyoung hums, nodding her head as she briefly runs her tongue across the part Jiwoo had touched, “this is the perfect level of buttery.”

“Okay, cool.”

“...Thanks for inviting Jungeun, by the way.”

Jiwoo raises an eyebrow at her. “Really?”

“Well, if you didn’t, I wouldn’t have been invited,” Sooyoung says with a shrug. Oh, what a painful reality to think about: _Sooyoung’s only here because Jungeun’s here_.

She figured it wouldn’t hurt as much if she just admitted it herself out loud.

Much to Sooyoung’s chagrin, it still kind of stings. 

Jiwoo just hums, stuffing more popcorn into Sooyoung’s mouth. Spinning on her heels, she heads for the hallway.

“ _No,_ actually,” Sooyoung hears Jiwoo say on the way out, “I wanted you here and I would’ve invited you anyway.”

Oh. Well, maybe reality isn’t so painful after all.

Smiling to herself, Sooyoung pushes herself off the counter and follows Jiwoo to rejoin their friends.

 _'Operation Sooyoungbilation'_ is a thing Jiwoo has been fulfilling dutifully since they met, even if neither of them realise it.

 

 

 

Much to Sooyoung’s joy, Jiwoo had taken the liberty of plopping herself right next to her on the floor. They lie on their stomachs, shoulders pressed as she they share a blanket draped over them.

Nearby, Heejin and Hyunjin have impolitely hid under a blanket of their own, doing god knows what. Sooyoung doesn’t hear anything though, so they must be sleeping. Hopefully.

Closest to the screen lies Chaewon, head turned away from the others. She had spent a few minutes ranting about her brother eating her premium imported wagyu beef without her permission, so she was already tired before the movie even started.

Just a few feet away from Jiwoo is Jungeun, also on her stomach. She was uncharacteristically quiet at times, but sharing much of their humour, she seemed to have a lot of fun with Jiwoo's friends too. Sooyoung thinks she could seamlessly blend in to their posse, if not for the whole _post-breakup-_ _emotional-baggage-and-going-to-school-on-the-other-side-of-the-country_ thing. 

Sooyoung’s eyes feel heavy, but she’s doing her best to fight sleep.

They’re around halfway (Sooyoung guesses) through their second movie of the night, but it seems like most of them had already tapped out, overcome with sudden drowsiness.

Jiwoo, though, is still very alert. Her wide eyes are glued to the screen, completely engrossed in whatever was happening in the movie.

Sooyoung had turned away from the screen a long time ago, opting to lay her head on its side and look up at Jiwoo’s amusingly concentrated face.

“Oh my gosh, he’s going to get _killed_ ,” Jiwoo harshly whispers. Sooyoung lets out a tired chuckle, prompting Jiwoo to turn and look at her.

“How are you still wide awake?” Sooyoung asks quietly.

Confusion flashes across Jiwoo’s face before she looks around the room. A quiet ‘oh’ slips from her mouth when she realises that they must be the only ones still awake.

Eyeing the blonde hear, Jiwoo whispers, “I don’t think Chaewon is asleep…” 

Sooyoung glances over.

“Hey! Park Chaewon!" she whisper-shouts, "the ‘wow! signal’ is fake!"

(See, _normally_ , if Park Chaewon was wide awake, such a statement would trigger her into a confusing tirade full of advanced terminology; for a random first-year social science undergrad, Chaewon had a suspicious amount of physics and astronomy knowledge.)

The blonde head doesn’t move an inch. Sooyoung nods. “Yup, she’s totally knocked out. Probably got bored of the film.”

Jiwoo chuckles. “This movie is really good,” she says, a hint of defensiveness in her tone.

“I bet. You’re _super_ into it.”

“Are you tired?”

“Very sleepy,” Sooyoung hums. 

“You can sleep, you know.”

Sooyoung gives the slightest shake of her head. “Then you’ll be watching by yourself.”

Jiwoo purses her lips. “You’re not even paying attention to the movie.”

Oh, does Jiwoo know Sooyoung’s just been staring at her this entire time?

She shrugs. “I just want to keep you company.”

“Okay,” Jiwoo says, lowering her head to rest on her crossed arms as she glances over at Sooyoung’s tired eyes. “You know…this movie is _really_ good…”

The laugh that escapes from Sooyoung is a breathy one. “You already said that.”

“I know. That’s why you should be watching the movie instead of watching me. You’re missing out.”

Oh, so she _did_ know.

“Your expressions are more entertaining,” Sooyoung says, thankful for the way the darkness of the room hides her blushing cheeks.

“That sounds like an insult.”

“It’s not,” Sooyoung whines, “you’re just cute.”

At that, Jiwoo hums and Sooyoung sees her bury her face deeper into her arms. Reaching up to brush Jiwoo’s bangs out of her eyes, the younger girl blinks at the contact.

“Your hand is warm,” Jiwoo murmurs. It's an offhand comment, one Sooyoung doesn't dwell on, but when she goes to retracts her hand, Jiwoo grabs it in time and timidly laces their fingers together.

Sooyoung’s heartbeats quicken exponentially.

_Shit, act cool._

“…Did you have a good day?” Sooyoung asks.

It’s a random, sudden question, but an honest one, spurred by a natural curiosity. She just wants to hear about Jiwoo’s day, realising the small, trivial happiness she’d feel whenever Jiwoo would go on about nice it was.

“I had a good day,” Jiwoo replies softly, “my mom cooked rolled omelette for breakfast. I stopped by campus to help an upperclassman with something and she took me to a tteokbokki shop afterwards to treat me.”

“Yum. How was it?”

“Really good, we should go there one day, the ahjumma was super nice too…”

Sooyoung listens intently as Jiwoo continues, occasionally asking a question whenever Jiwoo pauses too long or doesn’t know what to say, just so Sooyoung can listen to her talk more. They speak quietly, careful not to wake up the others, but such little distance between the two warrants a volume no louder than whispers anyway.

It’s a relaxing sort of atmosphere, with Jiwoo’s soft voice narrating her day as Sooyoung nods along. Even with the other girls around them, in the darkness of the room and holding hands beneath their blanket, Sooyoung feels like they’re in their own little distant and secret world. The movie stays playing on the screen, long forgotten, and the voices coming from it sound nothing more than a faint, indistinct hum.

 _Content._ This is what content feels like. And Sooyoung never wants it to end.

She wonders if this is more fulfilling for her than it is for Jiwoo, but OJ lingers in the back of her head and Sooyoung can only hope she’s doing her little mission justice.

A hope that this happiness is mutual.

“Thanks for staying up with me,” Jiwoo murmurs, voice slightly muffled by the pillow under her head. She sounds sleepier; chatting with Sooyoung seems to have subdued whatever energy she had left.

“Anytime,” Sooyoung replies, sounding equally faint.

Hair falls over Jiwoo's face when she adjusts her position, easing slightly closer without much subtlety. Sooyoung takes the liberty of moving it out of her eyes.

And instead of retracting her hand, she keeps it there this time, resting gently over the shell of Jiwoo’s ear. She lets her fingers lazily thread through the wisps of hair there.

Sooyoung isn’t really sure how it happened, but somewhere along the way, they had inched even closer to one another. Closer and closer, naturally, until their faces were a mere hair breadth’s away from each other and Sooyoung could feel Jiwoo’s soft exhales across her lips.

The one who leans in to close the gap between them is Sooyoung.

She briefly catches Jiwoo licking her lips just before Sooyoung presses them together.

Much like their previous kiss, it’s gentle, delicate, almost trance-like. The warmth of Jiwoo’s lips rivals the heat emanating off her cheeks. 

Sooyoung pulls the blanket over their heads, hiding away as if the walls had eyes and the actors could see them through the screen. Somewhere in the room, there’s a faint noise of someone moving, probably shifting positions, maybe checking out what they’re up to.

Sooyoung isn’t sure who, maybe it came from Jiwoo’s side, but she’s too preoccupied to care.

It's warm.

Probably the stuffiness of being under the blanket in such close proximity, but Sooyoung finds it pleasant; it's the type of warmth that hugs her and keeps her close. Feeling protected, she finds further refuge in Jiwoo’s presence.

Underneath the blanket, it feels even more like their own little bubble. Completely dark without the light from the screen, private and sequestered, like a hidden cove on a shrouded island, not a single soul around except Sooyoung and Jiwoo.

Jiwoo tastes subtly of butter.

She’s got a hand beneath Sooyoung’s jaw, fingertips lightly grazing the underside as if she was handling fine china. Her other hand had found its way to Sooyoung’s waist, fiddling with the hem of the shirt riding up her stomach.

Sooyoung’s senses heighten enough to drive her mad. All she can feel is Jiwoo’s touches on her.

Jiwoo is so gentle with her, she always is.

She wonders for a moment if Jiwoo knows that she has such an effect on her. Sooyoung can only hope she’s got the same effect on Jiwoo.

After they break apart, Jiwoo only waits a deafeningly loud heartbeat before speaking over the silence.  

“Why are you kissing me?” she asks, somehow sounding both sure and unsure. Her voice is so quiet, Sooyoung almost missed it.

It’s a funny question, considering Jiwoo’s reciprocating without hesitation, but a valid one.

Except Sooyoung doesn’t really know any answer besides ‘ _because it feels right, as if we should’_ and she can’t quite bring herself to utter those words out loud.

So she simply hums that automatic apology, thumb softly grazing the tip of Jiwoo’s lips, before muttering, “you don’t want me to?”

Jiwoo inches closer with eyes trained on her, flitting all around her face.

“…I don’t mind,” Jiwoo murmurs, “don’t be sorry.”

She nestles her head into the crook of Sooyoung’s neck. At such proximity, Sooyoung becomes hyperaware of the wild thumping against her ribcage, a small beating heart desperate to wriggle out of the tissue holding it in place.   

She wonders if Jiwoo can hear, or feel, her heart about to beat right out of her chest.

Because Sooyoung can feel Jiwoo’s.

And it’s loud, beating in unison with hers. 


	9. sooyoung’s terribly oiled thought machine & its critters (part 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this picks up from chapter 8 (the next morning)
> 
> this time, we ~delve~ back inside sooyoung’s head, but instead of 2nd person POV & fourth wall breaks, sooyoung personifies her emotions, machinifies her mind, and just…talks to herself to process her feelings? lol  
> enjoy!...unless…?

6 days until SolsticeFest. Maybe Sooyoung should try to keep count.

She wakes up to morning sunlight streaming through the curtains, dust dancing in the air, and a weight sprawled over her.

The blanket had slipped down to their waists, barely covering them, and the limp arm resting over her stomach goes up and down with her every breath. Jiwoo’s striped pajamas peek from beneath the side, one of her legs draped over Sooyoung. She’s been ensnared in a snoozing Jiwoo trap, but who is she to complain? Jiwoo’s ideal to cuddle with, as Sooyoung has so luckily learned after waking up from perhaps the warmest night and best sleep of her life.

Turning slightly to look at the sleeping face nuzzled against her shoulder, Sooyoung can’t help her sleepy chuckle upon the sight of Jiwoo’s open mouth and mussed up bangs.

 _God, she’s even cuter when sleeping_.

Her thoughts whir to life, even in her morning grogginess.

Sooyoung gently cups a hand over Jiwoo’s cheek, careful not to wake her. It’s nice to revel in the domesticity of things and contemplate the possibility of getting used to something like this. Mornings would certainly be a lot better if she’s waking up next to Jiwoo.

The last conversation they had before dozing off is still so clear in Sooyoung’s memories, and it’s one she can’t help but think about as she becomes transfixed on Jiwoo’s slow, calming breaths.

_"Jungeun really hurt me, you know,” she whispers into what little space there was between them. “We never really fought, but I noticed she was being a little distant in the days leading up to graduation. I guess it's partly my fault for ignoring it and acting like everything was alright and perfect. But still, I think there was a better way to do it, you know? To the way she ended things. Better time, better place. We could’ve talked about it more. I keep thinking I did something wrong.”_

_Sooyoung isn’t sure why Jiwoo suddenly finds it in her to be so candid about this, especially with Jungeun sleeping just mere metres away from them, but perhaps it was the way they’ve talked all night, or maybe even the feeling of seclusion that being beneath this blanket granted them._

_Whatever it is, Sooyoung decides to listen. She listens to Jiwoo’s hushed confessions, reciprocating her timid gaze._

_“She really did try not to hurt me. I know it was hard for her too. We tried to be as amicable as possible. We’re best friends, after all, we could get through this. I tried my best to go back to normal.” Jiwoo takes a contemplative pause as her eyes wander away from Sooyoung’s, lost. “I still felt too much for her. I know that because I couldn't tell her how much she hurt me. She always hated seeing me sad, so…"_

_“You still haven’t told her, huh?” Sooyoung lets out an inaudible sigh. She reaches up to thumb at Jiwoo’s chin, seizing back her attention, tethering her back to the now rather than let her drift further into the past. “You still don’t want her to know how much she hurt you.”_

_Jiwoo looks back at her. “I don’t know.” And then her eyes drift away again, eyelids drooping in sleepiness._

_Sooyoung lets Jiwoo fall asleep first. She doesn’t dwell too long on the possibility of Jiwoo still feeling something for Jungeun and surrenders herself to sleep soon after._

Beneath her uplifting exterior, Jiwoo hid far too much. It’s not fair to her; she can’t keep bottling things up for Jungeun’s sake.

 _I wish you’d stop putting yourself through this._  

The scuffling sound of slippers snaps Sooyoung out of her moment. She glances over to find Jungeun hanging awkwardly by the doorway.

“Oh, you’re up. Good morning,” she greets quietly, eyes travelling to the sleeping Jiwoo, lingering for only a second before returning her attention to Sooyoung. She shifts from one foot to the other. “Um, the others are already in the kitchen. I made breakfast.”

And then she quickly skitters away, as if she had just walked in on something she wasn’t supposed to and wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible.

Sooyoung’s still too sleepy to completely process what was just said. Something about breakfast, she guesses. Her gentle hold on Jiwoo’s face turns into featherlight taps as she rouses the younger girl awake, mumbling to her about how breakfast is ready.

Jiwoo just groans and snuggles sleepily into her touch.

 

 

 

“I’m not kidding, this is literally better than my mom’s omelette,” Hyunjin raves over a full mouth.

They’re lined up across the island counter with Jungeun standing on the other side like some hibachi chef proudly watching her patrons gleefully enjoy the food she’s personally prepared.

Jungeun cooked rolled omelette for breakfast because _of course_ she did. And guess what? It’s spectacularly amazing. Much to Sooyoung’s chagrin.

To add more salt to the gaping wound on Sooyoung’s ego, Hyunjin keeps heaping praise over Jungeun’s cooking. Either she’s totally clueless and insensitive, or she has some sort of vendetta against Sooyoung that she doesn’t know about.

“Damn, why is this so good?”

_For god’s sake, Hyunjin, please shut up about the omelette._

The voice in Sooyoung’s head has been very loud lately, thanks to last night’s film. For the life of her, she can’t remember the title of the first movie they watched before the action flick that knocked everyone out. Nor can she remember the exact plot, except for the fact that it was an animated film involving a moody child and five talking… _things_ in her head representing her emotions.

Or something like that.

Frankly, she was too distracted by Jiwoo to really pay attention. Nevertheless, she selectively remembers just enough, and maybe this is silly and childish of her, but now Sooyoung can’t help but imagine little emotion critters skittering inside her head, doing an awful job of piloting her usually well-oiled thought machine of a brain.

(It’s oiled, just in all the wrong places. Terribly oiled. What’s gotten into her?)

For lack of a better word, Sooyoung calls them critters. It seems fitting anyway; whenever she heard strange noises beyond the ceiling of her family home, her dad would reassure her with, ‘ _those are just little critters in the attic, don’t mind them_ ’.

(Weird way of euphemising ‘there are rats in our goddamn house’.)

Sooyoung’s extremely amused and entertained by the whole concept of personified emotions in her attic of a head. Even if she doesn’t exactly know what emotions each of the critters represent, it allows her to rationalise and sort out her feelings, albeit in a childish way.

Jiwoo’s been driving her thoughts crazy lately – she needs the organising. Thus, Sooyoung’s been letting the voice in her head run freely.

_If a mind reader listens in on me right now, would they think I’m crazy?_

_Probably._

_(For the record, I’m just having fun.)_  

The personification of…whatever terrible feeling she’s getting from Jungeun’s spectacularly amazing omelettes is having a go at the control panel right now.

“This is delicious, Jungie,” Jiwoo says without much thought.

 _What the hell is a Jungie_.

Sooyoung frowns at the nickname, then frowns deeper at the way Jungeun’s face lights up at it. Jiwoo’s too busy eating to notice Jungeun's smile, much less Sooyoung’s sullen look.

Nevertheless, Sooyoung loses her appetite.

“Is this your mom’s recipe?” Heejin asks.

Jungeun looks half-worried, half-amused at the speed Hyunjin’s going as she scarfed down the food.

“No, I just cook it often for my friends,” Jungeun replies with a chuckle and Sooyoung doesn’t miss the glance she sneaks at Jiwoo. “I’ve had lots of practice to perfect it, I guess.”

“Omff mmy godff,” Hyunjin garbles, shoving omelette pieces into her mouth like she had just returned from starving in the desert for three days. Swallowing, she turns towards Sooyoung. “Hey, you should ask Jungeun for her omelette recipe.”

Sooyoung narrows her eyes. Oh, so _now_ Hyunjin decides to say something without a mouthful of omelette? Is it because of the mediocre omelettes she force-fed them last time? Does Hyunjin hold grudges?

Heejin hits her girlfriend on the shoulder, scolding her with a stern voice after noticing Sooyoung’s sour look.

 _(DESERVE_ , Sooyoung thinks.)

Hyunjin winces, frowning at her partner. “I’m just saying it’s yummy. This is how rolled omelettes should be like. Right, Chae?”

At the mention of her name, Chaewon stops mid-chew. She had been eating silently at the end of the counter, very unlike her. Her chopsticks hang frozen in mid-air, a fat piece of omelette pinched between it.

“Huh? Nope,” she answers unconvincingly. With a fervent shake of her head, she stuffs the last of her omelette into her mouth.

Hyunjin scoffs. “You’re literally sucking it down like a vacuu-“

“Shut up, Hyunjin,” comes Chaewon’s garbled interjection, “it’s just _average._ ”

She says it’s average but eats it like she’s at Burger King. A pout pulls at Sooyoung’s lips.

_Chaewon, you traitor! You’re not even on my side? Is Heejin the only one I can trust around here?!_

Sooyoung continues to pick at her food, rudely poking the omelette pieces on her plate. Her thoughts are abruptly cut short by a nudge from her left.

“Why aren’t you eating? Not hungry?” asks Jiwoo in a soft voice still tinged with morning drowsiness.  

Sooyoung shakes her head with a smile, eating one last bite of the spectacularly amazing omelette before offering Jiwoo a piece. The girl happily eats it off her chopsticks, scrunching her nose cutely as she pulls Sooyoung’s plate towards her.

“More for me!”

Sooyoung opts to watch Jiwoo eat heartily instead, ignoring the occasional glances Jungeun would sneak her way. She thinks about the talk she had with Jiwoo last night, the way her distracted eyes wandered and the uncertainty in her words.

A new critter takes over her thought machine. There’s something gnawing at her stomach from within, robbing her of her appetite, and Sooyoung decides she’s not really feeling rolled omelette this morning.

 

 

 

Weirdly, Chaewon’s shrieks nicely harmonize with the sound of running water.

Probably spurred by boredom, Hyunjin, Heejin, and Chaewon had decided to pick up their pillow fight from last night. By the sounds of Jungeun’s boisterous laughter, it seems like she too had been unfortunately roped into their spirited battle.

Despite being natural rivals, Sooyoung silently prays for Jungeun to survive Chaewon’s grudge-driven attacks. Hopefully, the girl didn’t sneak weights into her pillow or something. Sooyoung may not be the biggest fan of Jungeun, but it’s not like she wants her _dead_.

Meanwhile, Jiwoo and Sooyoung had volunteered themselves for dishwashing duty. _‘They get scary when we do pillow fights_ ,’ Jiwoo had told her, willing to do anything to escape from participating in it.

Sooyoung’s earnestly scrubbing the dishes to distract herself when a finger swipes her face and she feels foam running down her cheek.

“Hey!” she whines, glaring at the laughing Jiwoo, “wipe it off!”

Jiwoo does as she’s told, using her own sleeve to clean Sooyoung’s face. Sooyoung goes back to washing the dishes so intensely, one would think her mother ordered her to do them.

Jiwoo nudges her again with a grin. Why is she being so playful? Any hint of morning lethargy had completely disappeared by now, inertia replaced by her familiar bubbly countenance after their delicious breakfast.

“What’s up?” she asks giddily.  

“Gas prices,” Sooyoung deadpans.

Jiwoo cringes hard. “Oh god…”

“Hey, you like my dad jokes.”

“Who says?!”

“The way you’re smiling says so.”

“I’m smiling because it was _stupid_ , not because it was _funny_.”

Sooyoung shrugs with a small smile. “Same difference.”

Jiwoo rolls her eyes. “No, I mean _really_ ,” she prods, “what’s up? Ever since breakfast, you look like you’ve had something on your mind.”

“I do? It’s nothing. My mind is empty.”

Sooyoung ignores the weird spike of warmth in her chest at the thought of Jiwoo paying her enough attention to notice something. Ladies and gentlemen, Bare Minimum Sooyoung strikes again.

Jiwoo narrows her eyes, unconvinced. “Remember you promised me you’d have more faith in me? That includes trusting me enough to confide in me,” she says pointedly.

Sooyoung purses her lips. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

For a moment, silence falls over them and Sooyoung glances over to find Jiwoo staring at her intently. And then suddenly, out of the blue, Jiwoo breaks into the widest, most amused grin Sooyoung has ever seen don her pretty features.

She raises an eyebrow. “Why are you so smiley this morning?”

“Are you sure nothing’s on your mind?”

Sooyoung insists, but really, who’s convinced?

Let’s take a peek inside the _head_ quarters of her thought machine, where critters are fighting over one another. What the hell is at the control panel? Much to her betraying insistence, her mind’s currently running a billion thoughts per second:

_Great. Jungeun’s rolled omelettes must put her in such a great mood. That’s just fucking fantastic._

_Why would she cook rolled omelette…like, come on, that’s just diabolical._

_Is she trying to win her back with her stupid omelette? It wasn’t even that good._

_Well, maybe it was kind of good…okay, hell, it was a Michelin meal._

_Fuck, I need to up my omelette game._

_Self-reminder: call mom to ask for her rolled omelette recipe._

_Or maybe I should ask Jiwoo’s mom for hers? No one can beat the mother’s omelette._

_Wait, is that obsessive?_

_But I bet Jiwoo would love it if I cooked it for her…_

_It’d be better than Jungeun’s omelette. It’d be the best goddamn rolled omelette she’s ever ea-_

“You’re jealous,” Jiwoo interrupts her thoughts with a smug voice, “and it’s hilarious.”

Sooyoung’s brain suffers an abrupt mechanical failure. She almost drops the glass she was earnestly washing, turning to Jiwoo with an incredulous look only to find the girl smiling at her stupidly. She looks giddy, like a little kid. Shit-eating grins have never looked this innocent.  

“What? Who said _anything_ about _anyone_ being jealous? And over what?” Sooyoung mutters defensively.

(Jealousy. So _that’s_ the tyrannical critter that has usurped her thought machine. Sooyoung finally understands what Chaewon meant by ‘little green-eyed monster’.)

“I did!” Jiwoo chirps, “and that anyone is _you_. The _what_ is Jungeun’s rolled omelette.”

Sooyoung only blinks at her. And then she busies herself with the dishes again, picking up the glass she had almost dropped and giving it another intense scrub.

_That’s stupid. I don’t get jealous. Anyway…die, bacteria, die!_

Beside her, Jiwoo continues to giggle. She nudges her repeatedly on the shoulder, making Sooyoung rock back and forth on her feet.

“I was right! You’re totally jealous!” Jiwoo’s having a blast with this, for some reason. Seeing Sooyoung’s lips jut out in a childish pout, she tones down her teasing and softens her voice. “Why are you all pouty over some omelettes?”

Sooyoung shuts her eyes; Jiwoo softening on her is one of her biggest weaknesses. Well aware that she’s been scrubbing the same glass for the past five minutes, Sooyoung puts it down and decides to swallow her pride for once.

“It was better than mine…” she finally grumbles.

There it is: the admittance of jealousy.

At the wide grin breaking across her face, Sooyoung knows that Jiwoo is getting a massive kick out of this and braces herself for the barrage of teasing she’s about to receive.

Instead, Jiwoo just giggles.

“You’re such a baby,” Jiwoo coos.

With warming cheeks, Sooyoung narrows her eyes. “I’m older than you…”

“So? You’re an overgrown baby. Very cute.”

And so Sooyoung goes back to pouting like the overgrown baby that she is. She wonders if she has eradicated all the bacteria on this damn cup yet.

“This is childish, you’re all sulky!” Jiwoo tells her with an endearing smile. “Don’t get jealous over rolled omelettes. Didn’t I say yours was perfect?”

“You were eating Jungeun’s rolled omelette pretty deliciously…”

Jiwoo laughs. “I was hungry! All we ate last night was popcorn and candy,” she exclaims, suddenly drying her hands with a towel.

“…And you called her _Jungie_.”

Jiwoo pauses before breaking into a wide grin. “I’m sorry, force of habit. She’s my best friend, I’ve always called her that. Don’t look too much into it,” she answers, “Sooyoungie.”

Sooyoung’s lips quirk at the nickname – force of habit – but she shrugs it off and keeps her focus on the task at hand. Her heart, though, starts missing beats. 

She had finally moved on from the glass to the bowl, which was now enjoying its turn of intense cleaning courtesy of Sooyoung’s newfound passion for dishwashing. Here’s the thing with hard-working Sooyoung, who puts her all into everything she does: she _really_ puts her all into everything she does, moreso when there’s something clawing at her from within. She’ll do anything to take her mind off of it.

_Jealousy? Don’t know her! How about we destroy all the bacteria in the entire kitchen!?_

(The critter in charge of…intensity? Passion? Distraction? Whatever it is, it’s hard at work on the thought machine and manifests in her actions in the form of earnest dish washing.)

“Stop pouting already,” Jiwoo teases.

As expected, Sooyoung keeps pouting.

Just as she was about to give the bowl another round of scrubbing, she feels arms snake around her waist, a body press against her back, and a chin prop on her shoulder.

Sooyoung freezes, her hands faltering at their new predicament. Her thought machine lags, unoiled parts squeaking. The gears sputter. The critters stop wrestling. Even Jealousy falters.

Daring to turn her head slightly, she finds Jiwoo smiling softly at her. Sooyoung can still sense the last vestiges of amusement in the glint behind her eyes, but the threat of teasing remarks has completely disappeared. It’s replaced by a certain fondness that only Jiwoo is capable of conveying with one look.

Sooyoung feels a furious blush coming on at their close distance.

_Kim Jiwoo, the things you do to me…_

“I like your omelette more.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better…”

“Well, _yeah_ , but it doesn’t mean it’s not true,” Jiwoo says with a giggle, “I like yours better because you cooked it for me and me only.”

She snuggles into Sooyoung, tightening her hold around her waist.

Sooyoung puts down the bowl she had been washing in fear that she’ll accidentally drop it if Jiwoo keeps playing whatever game she has decided to play _right now_.

What happened to washing the dishes? They were supposed to be washing the dishes.

 _Well, two can play at this game_ , says a critter in her head. Whatever feeling it’s in charge of, it whacks the control panel back to life.

Sooyoung’s thoughts begin working again.

“Getting brave, Kim Jiwoo,” she taunts.

At the feeling of Jiwoo pressed against her, Sooyoung can only register sensations. Every part of her feels warmer than usual. In her head, the personification of joy leaps around, bouncing off the walls of her skull and flying around the space like a deflating balloon. There’s another part of her getting excited too, but Sooyoung prefers to keep that critter tamed (it’s for another day, another story, another narrative, something not G-rated).

“Your friends are in the next room,” Sooyoung warns, leaning into her, “aren’t you afraid we’ll get caught?”

Jiwoo hums. “They’re busy.”

“What’s gotten into you?”

Not that Sooyoung’s complaining. But it reminds her that there are sides to Jiwoo she still hasn’t met yet.

Jiwoo raises a teasing eyebrow. “Do you still refuse to believe me when I say I’m good at this?”

 _Damn right you’re good at this_ … _whatever this is. You’re a goddamn expert._

Jiwoo’s got a certain way about her when she’s not the bubble of smiles she typically is.

Sooyoung can feel Jiwoo’s nose nuzzling into her hair and she thinks she could melt into her right then and there. If Jiwoo wasn’t holding her from behind, her knees might’ve given out by now. 

She lets the gears in her thought machine creak to a stop. Now’s not really the time to _think_.  

Just as Sooyoung feels Jiwoo’s lips begin to ghost over her neck, goosebumps rising at the trail, someone interrupts their intimate moment _._ It’s like a sledgehammer to a stained-glass window, the type that goes up in churches, shattering it to ten million pieces.

 _Well. Great_ _timing, Satan!_

“ACK!” comes the unwelcome sledgehammer: Chaewon’s shriek. Sooyoung flinches and the tingling current that was beginning to run under her skin dissipates.

“I’m not looking, I’m not looking! Don’t worry about me, you two can keep doing what you’re doing! I’ll see myself out!” Chaewon exclaims.

Well, so much for sharing a moment with Jiwoo. The two of them reluctantly turn their heads to find Chaewon standing by the doorway, hands over her eyes as if she had just walked in on her parents making her a sibling.

Startled by her shrill voice, the others come running to the kitchen.

_Aaaaand here come Satan’s little minions._

“What’s wrong?” Heejin asks, eyes darting from the voluntarily-blind Chaewon to the two cozy dish washers at the sink, Jiwoo’s arms still firmly wrapped around Sooyoung.

“ _Nothing_ ,” Chaewon sing-songs, “just some PDA. Hehe, nothing to see here.”

She slowly backs away from the doorway and ends up stepping on Jungeun’s foot.

“ _Ow_ -“

“Oops! Sorry!” Chaewon uncovers her eyes and gasps when she sees Jungeun wincing, “that wasn’t on purpose, I swear! If it was, I would’ve done it secretly!”

Jungeun narrows her eyes.

“I thought you two weirdos were supposed to be washing the dishes,” Hyunjin quips, amused.  

With everyone’s attention suddenly back towards them, Jiwoo detaches herself from Sooyoung with a sheepish smile. On second thought, Sooyoung’s grateful that the others interrupted them. Who knows where they might’ve ended up if Chaewon didn’t come swinging by on her wrecking ball. Sooyoung’s not ready for that.

Suddenly feeling energized and free of any displeasing thoughts that had been troubling her earlier, Sooyoung nudges Jiwoo on the shoulder.   

“Back to washing the dishes, Jiwoo,” she teases, as if Jiwoo wasn’t the one teasing her just minutes prior.

With her tongue sticking out, Jiwoo splashes her with water before returning to their task.

Sooyoung looks over her shoulder one last time, catching a glance at Jungeun sporting some unreadable expression on those pretty features of hers. It fades when she meets Sooyoung’s eyes, looking away at once. Sooyoung wonders what’s going on in her head.

Looking to the girl beside her, she sees Jiwoo smiling down at the plates she’s rinsing. Sooyoung wonders what’s going on in her head too, what critters run her thoughts and all.

Even if Sooyoung’s own critters aren’t always on the same page, her thoughts always end up leading to one thing and one thing only:

 _Just say you like me too_ , _Jiwoo._

 

* * *

 

3 days until SolsticeFest. Sooyoung is definitely keeping count.

She feels like she’s been soaring through the air these past few days. The voice currently taking over her head is a cheery one, reminiscent of Jiwoo’s purple-haired junior Sooyoung met weeks ago, or maybe akin to a bubbly flight attendant addressing passengers.

Isn’t it time for her to just lay it all out? Take Jiwoo to the practice room after the festival and confess? Tell her how she really feels and ask her out on a real date?

The thought of it makes her heart jump.

_Ladies and gentleladies – a.k.a. Sooyoung – welcome aboard. Thank you for choosing Cloud 9 Airlines. The weather is clear and sunny. Sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight._

Whatever critter currently in charge has turned her headspace into an airplane decked out in hearts and rainbows, silencing all other unpleasant thoughts. 

For the first time _ever_ , she’s actually looking forward to this SolsticeFest thing as she counts down the days until she gets to see Jiwoo again.

Sooyoung wants to confess. What better day to do it on than on festival day?

Now that she’s got more than one kiss to think about, her mind never takes a rest. It invades her thoughts all day, keeping her up at night, keeping her awake in the morning, and keeping her energized in the afternoon, completely blissed out. Her terribly-oiled thought machine’s been busy.

Sooyoung has forgotten how nice it feels to _like_ someone. And to believe that she’s got an actual chance, too. To have someone to think about and the possibility that they’re thinking about her too. Sooyoung thinks this must be what it’s like to literally float in seventh heaven. She feels high. Literally high. Jiwoo may be paying her with this whole fake dating arrangement, but in Sooyoung’s thoughts, where Jiwoo persists indefinitely, she’s practically living in her head rent-free.  

She wishes SolsticeFest was tomorrow. Who knew three days away could feel like three years away? Never in her life did she ever imagine herself being excited for _SolsticeFest,_ of all things. Her friends would laugh at her for this. Fairs are a setting of her nightmares, after all, and they belong in the Memory Dump to be forgotten.

But well, as long as Jiwoo’s with her, she can get through it. She could probably get through anything with Jiwoo by her side.

Just when the girl comes to mind for the nth time of the day, Sooyoung’s phone buzzes.

kim jiwoo <3  
  
sooyoung  
  
I need to talk to you  
  


Speak of the ~~devil~~ angel. Something’s off, though. Jiwoo, a steadfast word-shortener and compulsive emoji-user, does not often text without acronyms and emojis that help get her point across. Sooyoung sits up.

 _Cabin crew, please be seated,_ comes the critter pilot’s threateningly calm voice.

  
what's up?  
  
we should talk in person. are you free right now?  
  
yeah of course  
  
where are you?  
  
I'll go where you are  
  


Sooyoung texts her her address, ignoring the subdued uneasiness rolling in her gut. She knows she shouldn’t jump to conclusions, but this really isn’t a good sign.  

 

 

 

_Ladies and gentlemen, please fasten your seatbelts. We are now entering a zone of turbulence._

Sooyoung hasn’t seen Jiwoo this jittery since their first meeting. She keeps averting her gaze, pacing briskly across Sooyoung’s living room. It certainly doesn’t do any favours for the million knots threatening to twist Sooyoung’s stomach.

“Jiwoo, relax,” she says, “are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Jiwoo comes to a sudden halt, fingers relentlessly fiddling with the hem of her skirt.

“Something happened,” Jiwoo tells her sheepishly, “two days ago. I did something I shouldn’t have.”

“What’d you do…?”

Jiwoo opens her mouth and then closes it immediately, biting down on her lip. Her nerves are buzzing. Behind the anxious eyes, Sooyoung can almost see the gears in her head working, the critters fumbling over the controls, wondering what she should say or how she should say it.

Whatever it is, Sooyoung wishes she’d just spit it out because sitting here, watching the girl pace anxiously back and forth, is as nervewracking for Sooyoung as it is for Jiwoo.

She gets up and holds Jiwoo’s hands to stop her from fidgeting with her skirt any further.

Sooyoung softens her voice. “What? Did you commit a crime? Shoplift? Rob a bank? Kill a man?” she jokes. It’s a poor attempt at brightening the atmosphere, just barely cutting through the settling uneasiness.

Jiwoo widens her eyes. “No! No, n-nothing like that,” she exclaims. She takes a step back, retracting her hands as if touching Sooyoung had burned her.

Sooyoung chuckles, and maybe it sounds a bit unhinged because now doesn’t seem like the right time to make jokes. But if Jiwoo refuses to fess up _whatever_ it is she did two days ago, then Sooyoung doesn’t really know how else to get her to say it.

“Listen, just–“

“We kissed,” Jiwoo spits out.

Sooyoung stops mid-chuckle and it’s out of surprise, really, for Jiwoo to be bringing this up so suddenly after days of dancing circles around it. The amused grin remains on her face. “…Yes, uh, we did.”

And then Jiwoo shakes her head.

“No…” she murmurs, taking another step back as her eyes bore holes into the carpet beneath her feet. “Not _we_ as in me and you. We as in me and…”

The grin falls from Sooyoung’s face.

 _Oh_.

The realisation comes to her, but it’s almost as if her mind is actively fighting it, defensive critters shoving it back to whatever locked room it was hiding in within the many spaces of her head. But much to Sooyoung’s misfortune, the realisation triumphs and leaps out of her mouth in the form of a name, leaving a bitter taste on its way out:

“ _Jungeun?_ ”

Jiwoo’s silence is as telling as any verbal confirmation she could’ve given.

_Well._

Sooyoung stops in her tracks.

_Shit._

It’s then that the energy of the room shifts and Sooyoung’s mind, along with the rest of her body, experiences a mechanical failure, thoughts slowing down to a snail’s pace. Everything suddenly halts.

“You and her? Like… _kissed_ kissed?”

Jiwoo can only give her a sheepish nod, reduced to an ant-sized human being with a flimsy fence around her rather than iron walls.

_What the hell._

“Uh, okay…um…this is not good,” Sooyoung stammers. She swears her thoughts are still going stupidly slow and the suddenness is making it so hard for her to process anything properly, that she can barely form the right words to say.  _What's the right thing to possibly say here?_   “And you just…you just decided to tell me this now because…?”

“I-I don’t know, I haven’t told anyone except Heejin and she– she thought I should tell you.”

“So you’re only telling me because Heejin told you to? You wouldn’t have otherwise?”

The uneasiness at the pit of her stomach is starting to feel more palpable now. Sooyoung plops down on the couch in a desperate attempt to alleviate the churning in her gut.

Unfortunately, sitting down doesn’t really do much to ease the nausea rolling through.

“No, it’s not that! I was going to tell you anyway, I just didn’t know what to say and how to say it and I don’t know, I guess I’m still processing it and–“ Jiwoo pauses abruptly, seemingly running out of words to say in the middle of her rambling.

“It’s not that hard,” Sooyoung finds herself muttering flatly. “ _‘I made out with Jungeun_ ’. Clear and to the point.”

Jiwoo shifts on her feet uncomfortably. “I…that’s not– _I_ didn’t kiss her–“

“What, you mean  _she_ kissed _you?_ ” Sooyoung suddenly rises from the couch with wide eyes. _Oh, this homewrecking bit-_

“I-I pushed her away! I swear!” Jiwoo retorts defensively, thinking over her next words for only a moment before she quiets her voice, “I kissed back…b-but I pushed her away once I realised what I was doing. I did!”

Sooyoung just blinks. Jiwoo’s insistence doesn’t really do much to mitigate the awful unease that’s on verge of wreaking havoc inside her. In a way, it feels like a calm before the storm.  

“Why would you…” she mutters. “You just technically cheated on me, you know.”

It seems like such a stupid thing to say right now, she knows that, but she doesn’t really know how to react. Her mind’s still going at an excruciatingly slow pace; out of shock, maybe, or denial, perhaps.

Jiwoo seems taken aback by her accusation. “I didn’t! I…w-we’re not even… _dating_ ,” she blurts out, “I’m not a cheater!”

Well, she’s right. They’re _not_ dating. Sooyoung no longer knows what they are. The lines blurred a long time ago, before the melting kisses and the soft touches, before all the smiles and the gazes they exchanged.

They’re not dating, so Sooyoung can’t even justify the confusing feelings troubling her mind right now with that excuse.

But still. Jungeun doesn’t know that. She’s not supposed to.

“Well, _Jungeun_ thinks we’re together. Yet she kissed you?” Sooyoung sighs. “Why would she do that?! Why did this happen?”

At a loss for words, Sooyoung just glances at Jiwoo, who catches her eye for a second and looks away in the next.

“I’m sorry,” Jiwoo murmurs, “I’m really, really sorry it happened, I know it shouldn’t have but–“

“But it did.”

“…I’m sorry.” Jiwoo’s voice tapers into silence as she bites her lip, keeping her gaze towards the floor. Her defensive body language makes it hard for Sooyoung to believe her.

Then another door in her head swings open and the thought previously hiding behind it bursts out to further provoke Sooyoung’s mess of feelings:

_She’s not over Jungeun._

Sooyoung suddenly feels her heart plunge to the floor. Whatever plane she was on, soaring smoothly through the air, was now nosediving straight for the ground, alarm sounds and red lights polluting the cabin in which she’s the only passenger.

_Passengers, brace yourself for impact._

What’s going to happen if Jiwoo and Jungeun still have feelings for each other? Sooyoung knows she could just clear the air with Jiwoo right now, but realises she’s too scared to ask. 

Too scared to learn the truth behind Jiwoo’s feelings, despite weeks and weeks of desperately trying to see through her for any hint, any sign, that Sooyoung’s sentiment is mutual; that Jiwoo feels for her as much as she feels for Jiwoo.

She's scared. All the thoughts her head is conjuring up is taking too big of a hit on her confidence.

“Is that all you have to say?” Sooyoung asks bluntly. She wonders if it’s obvious, in her face or in her body language, in her voice or in her eyes, how much her resolve is crumbling by the second.

Jiwoo appears taken aback by her curtness. “I- what do you _want_ me to say?”

“You can’t be serious, Jiwoo.”

_Has everything we’ve done together all summer been in vain? All this time, have I been walking on air all by myself? Blinded by my own feelings and getting excited over what had actually been mixed signals all along? What the hell have we been doing all this time?_

There’s one emotion that succinctly sums up what she’s feeling: humiliation.

Humiliation, a shy little critter that doesn’t get a turn at the panel very often. It’s a foreign feeling to Sooyoung from how often she represses it in her daily life. She does so because it’s a compelling emotion, one that threatens the very persona she has carefully crafted for others; the charismatic Ha Sooyoung, brazen in her confidence and magnetic in her presence. Ha Sooyoung does not get humiliated.

But right now, humiliation is rearing its ugly head. It’s strong enough to mask the underlying tinctures of hurt and anger – feelings that Sooyoung has, but can’t comprehend well enough to actually admit it.

It’s almost as if confessing she’s upset and heartbroken is embarrassing, so she quells it, pushing those critters to the back of her mind for the sake of saving face.

Sooyoung lets a scoff slip past her lips.

Jiwoo catches it. Amplified by the loaded silence of the living room, every little noise rings out clear as day. Guilt flashes across her face. And then, like a switch has turned on, she sets off on defensive mode.

“It was just a brief kiss, Sooyoung, I pushed her away immediately! I know this is something I should’ve been avoiding all summer, but I don’t know what came over me. I feel terrible it happened and I’m so–“

Sooyoung cuts her off, seeing no point in repeating what’s already been said.

“Do you regret it?”

Her question renders Jiwoo silent as she gapes at the older girl glaring at her.

Her lack of an answer, though, is more telling than anything. Sooyoung frowns.

“Just _admit_ it, Jiwoo. If you don’t even have the courage to do that, think of how pathetic you look to me right now,” she snaps, momentarily losing control over her impulsivity as anger takes over her.

A frown creases Jiwoo’s forehead, hurt flashing across her eyes. And then she bites her lip to stop them from trembling, hands clenching to small, timid fists.

“Fine,” she mutters, “I don’t regret it. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

Sooyoung feels a pang spike in her chest, the stinging sensation spreading all the way to her fingertips.

“…No, not at all, but thank you for being honest,” she grumbles, jaw tensing.

“I don’t know what the right thing to say is here…”

“There isn’t one, Jiwoo.” Sooyoung sighs. “I don’t want you to tell me what I want to hear. Let go of whatever shame you feel and just _tell me_ , honestly, how the hell this happened and why.”

Her gaze must’ve been desperate enough because it forces the words out of Jiwoo and they spill out of her, haphazard and uncontrolled.   

“It was an in-the-moment kind of thing. We were fooling around and teasing each other and it just…it happened.” The discomfort of recounting it is discernible in Jiwoo’s body language. “It didn’t mean anything! Besides, we were drinking and Jungeun had drank more than usual–“

“ _Really_? You’re chalking it up to alcohol? Now?” Sooyoung balks at Jiwoo’s attempt to soften the blame. She scoffs, mind glitching with newfound frustration blurring her senses. “That’s a classic.”

“No, _no_ , I’m just saying it was a _factor–“_

“Stop,” Sooyoung interrupts, shutting her eyes. “Just cut it out. For my sake, just cut it out and…stop talking.”

Jiwoo knits her eyebrows. There's a glassiness to her eyes that Sooyoung notices. “You _asked_ me to tell you what happened, so I’m telling you! You won’t even let me talk?!”

Sooyoung blows out an exasperated sigh at Jiwoo’s rise in volume, running a nervous hand through her hair. “What you’re doing is _defending_ her–“

“It was just a kiss! It was nothing!” Jiwoo exclaims, words springing out in some desperate attempt to defend herself. “Kisses don’t always mean something! Most of the time, they don’t mean anything! You should know that, shouldn’t you?!”

Sooyoung narrows her eyes in disbelief. “What’s that supposed to mean?” _Did any of our kisses mean anything to you? Do you really think they meant nothing to me?_ “Okay, what, do you think I just go around kissing whoever I want to? To hell with feelings, right?”

Instead of hiding behind a curtain of bangs like she has been this entire time, Jiwoo stares back at her, eyes wide. “No, that’s– that’s not what I meant!” she exclaims, belatedly realising the weight of her previous words. “Y-you’ve said it before, kissing is not a big deal–“

“I haven’t kissed _anyone_ since I met you, Jiwoo,” Sooyoung blurts out.

If that’s not a clearer indirect confession of her feelings, then Sooyoung doesn’t know how else to show it.

She can’t read the look on Jiwoo’s face. The girl only blinks at her, clouding whatever true reaction her eyes could show. “…You haven’t?”

Maybe she hasn’t been clear enough. “No.”

Jiwoo goes quiet. Sooyoung bites her lip to stop it from trembling. She doesn’t like any of the terrible feelings coming to wreck her mind.

It stings to consider that maybe the feelings that charged their kisses weren’t mutual. Maybe they meant a whole lot less to Jiwoo than they did to Sooyoung. Maybe she’s misread everything from Jiwoo all along. Maybe their hearts beat in completely different rhythms.   

No, it doesn’t just sting. It hurts way more than that.

That critter returns again, Sooyoung’s sworn enemy: humiliation.

Unadulterated, sheer humiliation. It has her feeling vulnerable, as if all her shortcomings have surfaced.

Just as she was feeling like she was at her wit’s end, Sooyoung catches Jiwoo’s pale gaze. Something in it urges her to get a better hold of herself. It isn’t her to look weak and defeated and hurt. She manages to regain the reins over the emotions that had been dictating her impulsive reactions, placating herself enough to ask Jiwoo a burning question with some semblance of calmness.

“Why did you kiss her back? Tell the truth.”

She braces herself for the answer.

Jiwoo takes one look at her before taking in a breath. “I don’t know.”

Sooyoung stares at her.

“I’m being honest! I don’t know. Maybe I was just reminded of the past. She kissed me and I just– I kissed back. Fell back into old habits, I guess. Something came over me…I don’t know what.”

It seems like impulsivity is a vice that Jiwoo has shared with her all along. She doesn’t even feel like she has the right to chastise her for that or else she’d feel like a hypocrite.

But people don’t just kiss in the moment unless it feels right. Sooyoung knows that well.

“That’s all? You _really_ don’t know?” she asks quietly. For her own sake, Sooyoung doesn’t really want to pry, but curiosity is a steadfast killer and she knows that this is something both of them need to hear, loud and clear.

Sooyoung knows that if Jiwoo doesn’t talk her feelings through, they’ll end up wrecking her from within. So she puts her own feelings aside.

Jiwoo looks at her for a second before casting her eyes down as if she could see through the floor. Her voice lowers. “Maybe…maybe there was a part of me that wanted to do it," she hesitantly admits. "Maybe I just missed her. Maybe I haven’t let her go yet.”

There it is. The answer Sooyoung was bracing herself for.

“There you go,” Sooyoung can only murmur.

For a moment, she doesn’t know what to do. Time slows and silence rings in the air.

The fog in her head slowly clears up, thoughts becoming more and more clear. The critters slowly take form. Humiliation moves aside to make way for the other feelings that have been plaguing Sooyoung’s mind.

At the forefront is jealousy, a reasonable reaction for obvious reasons. There’s also gloom; after all, no one wants to hear about the person they like kissing someone else, much less an ex. And then there’s anger, making up for a stronger presence. She thought she had a real chance with Jiwoo, so there’s a part of her that can’t help but feel like she’s been led on.

Above all, there’s hurt. Her personal feelings about Jiwoo aside, it’s upsetting to think that maybe Jiwoo hasn’t made any progress on her own feelings this entire time. All summer, they’ve been working towards a clear goal of helping her move on. _All_ of them; Heejin and Hyunjin had to eat a million mediocre omelettes and god knows what Chaewon had to do to snag those SolsticeFest tickets.

And just when it seemed like they were on a smooth upwards climb, shit hits the fan right near the peak – and down they tumble, right back to the foot of the mountain. It’s disheartening.

Sooyoung’s hurt, betrayed, and beyond disappointed.

She doesn’t want to, but she’s starting to doubt that Jiwoo really wants this to work out.

“I can’t tell anymore whether you actually want to get over her or not.”

_Or whether you actually like me or not._

Jiwoo’s back to boring holes at the carpet, her toes curling in the way they do whenever she’s flustered. “…I do. Believe me, I do. But it’s not easy. I’ve never been through anything like this before, I’m going crazy trying to sort my feelings out.”

Maybe the critters in Jiwoo’s head are more of a mess than Sooyoung’s; maybe her thought machine isn’t oiled at all, coughing out smoke and errors.

But one thing’s clear to Sooyoung: whatever she’s been doing all summer to change Jiwoo’s mind, and heart, seemingly hasn’t been enough. And nothing hurts Sooyoung more than wasted efforts and hard work that doesn’t pay off in the end. She’s always been so earnest with whatever – and whoever – she pursues. Humiliation is a menace, but disappointment’s a whole different league.

Her living room is already small, but it feels more stifling than usual. Sooyoung wants to open a window, or maybe the door and just run out. Whichever it is, she just wants to escape this feeling of walls closing in.

Even after all this, she still feels too much for Jiwoo, still so wrapped up in her.  

(Infatuation is an unabating critter, dogged in its pursuit and unwavering in its existence, desperate to evolve into love.)

Sooyoung knows that because the promise she made to fulfill all of Jiwoo’s wishes still lingers in her mind and she’s troubled by the fact that she can’t fulfill one of them.

“Maybe I’m just a bad genie, but you’re making it very hard for me to have faith in you,” she murmurs quietly.

She had trusted Jiwoo enough to hang out with Jungeun when they wanted to, thinking they were making progress with post-breakup friendship, but that trust is out the window now. Are relationships always this fragile? Sooyoung should’ve known.

She wishes Jiwoo wouldn’t be so transparent right now, because all the guilt, shame, or remorse she feels shows on her face all too well. It does something to her. After all, she never liked seeing Jiwoo this way, it was why she created such a thing like OJ in the first place.

 _Operation Jiwoobilation_. God, all of that feels so silly now.  

“I know I betrayed your trust,” Jiwoo pauses to lick her lips, “and I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

There’s conviction in Jiwoo’s words, but Sooyoung finds it in her to have the strength to stop herself from just forgiving the girl on the spot. It’d just heighten her humiliation if she reveals how weak she is to Jiwoo now. The last thing she needs is to give that critter a turn at the control panel again.

She straightens her back. She can navigate this. She’s Ha Sooyoung.

_Have some fucking backbone, Ha Sooyoung!_

And so she listens to that inner voice, and doing her best to gather herself, she picks up and pieces together all her shattered courage. Sooyoung swallows thickly.  

“You should go home, Jiwoo,” she says, tone as steely as her eyes. In front of her, Jiwoo looks smaller than an ant.  

The girl doesn’t seem that surprised at being kicked out. “Sooyoung…I didn’t mean for this to happen. I’m sorry.”

Even after all that’s been said, there’s an honest ring of sincerity in her apology, more so than all her previous ones. Sometimes, you can’t control what you do – Sooyoung knows that better than anyone; she’s a pro at making all the wrong choices.

The look on Jiwoo’s face propels Sooyoung to soften her tone.

(Infatuation, after all, is just as compelling as humiliation.)

“I know you are. Just…sort it out, okay? Should I say it in wish form?” she says, pausing to take a breath. “I wish you could just be honest with yourself, and decide on what you want and what you don’t.”

Summer’s almost over. They can’t play like this forever. Sooyoung knows her limits, when to give up or when to keep going. She’d like to think that it’s easy for her to move on when she knows she has to – but she really doesn’t want to have to give up on Jiwoo.

When Jiwoo doesn’t say anything, Sooyoung walks over to the door and opens it. Much to her immense disappointment, the outdoor draft doesn’t do anything to lift the heaviness in the room.

“Jiwoo. Tell me you’ll _at least_ fulfill that wish for me.”

Jiwoo glances at her, returning her gaze. “…I will. I promise.”

“Okay. Then,” Sooyoung pauses, “I’ll see you in three days for SolsticeFest.”

Jiwoo’s visibly conflicted and Sooyoung can tell the girl is struggling between staying to fruitlessly defend herself and apologize, or doing as Sooyoung advises and walk out.

Sooyoung prays for the latter. She doesn’t really want to listen to this anymore. Much to her relief, Jiwoo leaves, but only after glancing at her, almost as if she could read Sooyoung’s mind and see what the critters are telling her to do. It’s funny; they know each other far too well by now, yet at the same time, Sooyoung feels like there’s still so much she can’t read from Jiwoo.

The click of the lock when she closes the door is both unsettling and relieving.

Once she’s alone, Sooyoung opens a window and sticks her head out. The breeze sweeps her hair past her shoulders, but it does nothing to rid her of the tight feeling in her chest, nor abate the displeasing feelings plaguing her mind.

What can she do if Jiwoo still has feelings for Jungeun and all of this was pointless? What can she do if she isn’t what Jiwoo wants?

She can’t do anything.

So much for confessing on festival day. Having suddenly lost all the courage and energy to do it, Sooyoung considers that maybe she’s not the spunky go-getter that she – and everyone else – thinks she is.

_I thought I’ve got it all figured out._

The voices of her head dissipate; they were only there to keep her amused at first, entertainment for her stay on cloud nine. Now that she’s back on solid ground, there’s no reason for the imaginary critters to play around in her head anymore.

Like OJ, they were only a childish creation of her impulsive happiness. Sooyoung got carried away with her feelings, lulled into a false sense of complacency. It’s not often she falls from her place at the top of the world, but maybe she needs to humble herself from now on.

Her terribly oiled thought machine sputters and buzzes back to life with a dull hum.

_Idiot. I’m just an idiot._

3 days until SolsticeFest. Sooyoung’s starting to wish she never kept count.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know many of you saw angst coming and by you I mean ao3 user mimolovebot whose ch. 7 comment was mysteriously spot on lmao
> 
> as always, i appreciate all the kudos!! please know that your comments are my lifeblooddd and i love seeing people talk about cmiys on twitter. thank you for continuing to show interest in my little story ;_; hope you liked this chapter!

**Author's Note:**

> i succumbed and made a twt acc for updates on my writing, cc answers, and deals i make with the devil. come say hi!: [sansrivalist](https://twitter.com/sansrivalist)  
> cc: [sansrivalist](https://curiouscat.me/sansrivalist)


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